Page 142 of Alpha Heat
The phone in Xan’s office began to ring. He leapt up, eager for the excuse to move, but then his stomach knotted up hard. The only person who would call his library extension directly was Joon. Xan had left a message for him earlier in the day asking him to call and inform him of Ray and his pater’s progress since he’d been so disconnected from the world after bolting himself into Caleb’s room for the duration of the heat. He’d been waiting for a return call ever since.
“Lofton Estate in Virona, Xan Heelies speaking,” he said breathlessly, dropping into the seat by his desk. His heart hammered, and he wiped a hand over his mouth. “Hello?”
“Darling, it’s so good to hear your voice.”
Tears filled Xan’s eyes. “Pater?”
“I’ve called every day, and every day they told me that your omega was still in heat. Did it go well, love? Do you have hope?”
“Yes,” Xan said, his throat tight.
Urho leaned against the doorjamb, watching him curiously.
“I’m so glad. And you’re well?”
“I am. Are you?”
“Almost entirely.”
“And Ray?”
“He’s recovered beautifully. And all thanks to you and the medicine you brought for us. Your father has much to be grateful to you for.”
“Pater…” Xan squeezed his eyes closed. He sighed as Urho drew close and slipped a reassuring hand into his hair. “Father and I…”
“I know, love. And your father is wrong,waswrong, and has been wrong for a long time. He’s currently suffering the full weight of my displeasure. He’s miserable.”
Xan huffed a broken-sounding laugh and wiped at his wet cheeks. “I don’t think this is something Father and I will be able to get past.”
“Perhaps not.” Pater sounded calm, as though he’d expected Xan to say exactly that, as though he didn’t blame him. “I hope you and I will be able to move forward, though? I believe you promised me that this autumn I might meet a grandbaby?”
“Pater, you have to know—before you punish Father further—you need to know the truth about me.”
His pater spoke calmly. “You’re unmanned. I’ve known since you were a toddler with dimpled knees, darling. I’ve known since you turned to me with wide eyes and proclaimed Mr. Roling the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. Do you remember Mr. Roling, dear? A broad-chested, quite hairy, but kind-hearted alpha that used to direct the symphony?” Pater laughed softly. “We had him over for dinner once a month the entire year you were five.”
“We did?”
“Oh, yes. Your father was trying to impress me with his deep abiding love of music, or some such nonsense. It’s hard to remember. Your father is always trying to impress me withsomething.”
“Erosgapé,” Xan murmured.
“It’s a delight and an absurdity, love. In some ways, I think you should be grateful you don’t have one.”
“I have a lover,” Xan said softly.
“Do you? I’m glad. You deserve that, Xan. Does Caleb know?”
“He does. He likes him too.”
“That’s lovely, darling. Truly.”
“Pater, why…” Xan swallowed hard, his throat so tight he could barely breathe. “Why did you let him treat me so badly for so long? If this is how you feel? If you knew about me and you didn’t care? I don’t understand how you could just let him—”
Pater sighed heavily. “Your father is hard to live with, Xan. He’s jealous and petty. He’s always been afraid that I loved you more than him. Why you and not Ray, or even little Jordan, I don’t know. But he focused all of that alpha possessiveness onto you. I thought if I followed his rules, if I let him handle things the way he wanted, then he might understand that I love him devotedly, as onlyErosgapécan—and perhaps he’d leave you alone.”
Xan scrubbed his face, tears slipping hotly down his cheeks.
“I was wrong. It never worked. He saw only what he feared to see. He heard only what he feared to hear.” Pater grew quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry, Xan. I should have stood up for you before now. I love you. You’re my dearest boy and I let you down horribly.”
