Page 23 of Alpha Heat
“Again.”
“I’m unmanned. I’ve told you twice. What more is there to say? Get it through your head.”
Urho closed his eyes. Had Xan been raped in the past? Is that what had led him to believe this kind of treatment was what he wanted? “When did this start?”
“The association with the man who did this to me? Or my being unmanned?”
“The latter.”
Xan picked at the bedspread and shot Urho a wary glance before he finally replied, “It started in school.”
“With whom?”
“My lover.”
“And this so-called ‘lover’ forced you?”
“No! Never. He was my friend and we played together sexually. It was different than what I do now.” His voice went very small, and he couldn’t meet Urho’s eyes. “It was nice.”
Urho’s temples throbbed. “Who was he?”
Xan laughed, still plucking at the bedspread. “Like I’d tell you. It’s not your business. Besides, that’s over.”
Urho stared at Xan. Suddenly little cues and glances between Jason and Xan took on a new meaning, and Vale’s words from the night before came back to him again. A rage he didn’t understand gripped his heart. “Jasonwas your ‘lover’?”
Xan’s mouth crumpled and tears sprang in his eyes. “No.”
“You’re lying.”
Xan swallowed audibly, and then pressed his trembling lips together. “Jason is… He’s my best friend. He understands me. That’s all you need to know.”
“He’s aware of this brutal connection of yours?” Urho motioned toward Xan’s bruised face, knowing damn well that Jason couldn’t possibly know. He’d never let it go on, and besides, Xan had pleaded with him just the night before not to mention it to him.
“No. And if you tell him, it’ll only upset him, which won’t be good for Vale.”
Urho’s jaw clenched again. The snotty tone Xan took when he’d mentioned Vale told him all too well that he knew about Urho’s former relationship with Vale and feelings for him. In a friend group so small, there was apparently no hiding things like that.
Though, until last night, Xan had done a damn good job of hiding his secrets. His and Jason’s. Long banked anger flared deep inside Urho. Jason had taken Vale awayanddamaged Xan.
“For that and so many reasons, I hope it’s clear to you that what I do is my business, and no authorities need to be dragged into this,” Xan added imperiously. “The person who would be hurt the most if I were arrested is Caleb, and he’s innocent in all this.”
“I wouldn’t see anything bad happen to you,” Urho said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. The thought of Xan hurt again tore at him, but he tried to remain composed. “That’s why I can’t let you say these things anymore—to yourself, or to anyone. You must promise me that this—whatever this brutality is—is something you will never seek out again.”
Xan’s jaw jumped, and he glared sullenly at Urho, but he jerked a nod.
“I have your word?”
“I’ve already told Caleb I’m done,” Xan snapped. “He’s the only one who has any right to demand anything of me anyway.”
Urho sighed, relief and irritation coursing through him in equal measures.
“Speaking of Caleb, he’ll be wondering what’s taking so long,” Xan said. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to tell him that you examined me and I’m fine.”
“I would not.”
Xan grunted, pulling the sweater up over his head. “Then let’s get started. The sooner this is over, the better.”
The red and purple bruising beneath Xan’s sweater was frighteningly impressive. Looming over him, reminded of how small Xan was, Urho listened to his lungs and heart, his own racing pulse making it hard to hear through his stethoscope. Closing his eyes to block out the damage done to Xan’s body, he steadied himself against the rage and helpless hurt buffeting about inside him.
