Page 49 of Any Given Lifetime
Joshua asked, “You’re Dr. Green’s boyfriend?”
“Oh, no.” Derek blushed even harder, then, though. “Neil doesn’t do boyfriends. A boyfriend is more than he has the time or inclination for. He’s too busy, what with being the biggest genius to grace God’s green earth in a few decades.” The kid smiled. “I mean, he’s got two of the prof’s classes to teach and this new massive dream-come-true study to run. He’s a busy guy.”
Joshua swallowed and decided to take the plunge. “I don’t mean to be nosy, but doesn’t he research reincarnation, too? On the side?”
“Yeah.” Derek started to frown a little, looking Joshua up and down. “How’d you hear about that? He’s private about it.” Derek paled. “Wait, you look an awful lot like… Who are you, anyway?”
“Joshua Stouder,” Joshua said, putting out his hand. Derek’s eyes went wide as he shook.
“Derek,” he said. “Derek Matthews.”
“Right, you said.”
Derek’s eyes were huge. “Wow. Okay, so…you’re here. He actually met you.” Derek looked like he might laugh, or cry. He looked exactly how Joshua felt. “Did he totally piss himself or what?”
Joshua’s heart thumped in his chest, but he wanted more. He wanted something explicit. Proof. “I’m sorry. I’m not following.”
“Oooh, so he didn’t tell you. Of course he didn’t. What am I thinking? I mean, what’s he going to say?”
“What’s he going to say?” Joshua repeated, dying to hear Derek’s response, willing him to mention something about reincarnation, about a truck, about Magic, about Dr. Neil Russell, about how his outlandish delusion was true.
Derek stared at him, clearly caught in a place where he didn’t know how to respond.
The key sounded in the lock, and Derek’s eyes flashed strangely. He cleared his throat and said, “He’s home. I’ll just…um.”
Neil came in, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw Joshua.
Joshua took in his piercing blue eyes, the length of his throat and prominent Adam’s apple. He looked at the black jeans Neil was wearing and the black button-up shirt. He took in Dr. Green’s curly hair that was exactly the same color as his Neil’s had been, and Joshua crushed the urge to grab him, hold him close, and make it real.
Joshua’s head spun.
Derek picked up the bag of trash. “Going to the Dumpster and then…for a run? And then over to Mary’s to shower and, uh, stay?” He said it all like it was a question, like he was waiting to see if this was what Neil wanted him to do.
Neil nodded vaguely, his eyes not leaving Joshua’s face. Derek had to push past him to make it out the door with the trash bag. He paused for a minute and looked between Joshua and Neil, his eyes welling with tears. But he only said, “So, uh, I’ll see you tomorrow, Neil. I’ll just…stay with Mary tonight.”
“Later,” Neil said. His gaze hadn’t left Joshua’s face.
Neil had to move out of the doorway so that Derek could shut the door, and the motion seemed to wake him from his surprise. He looked thinner than Joshua remembered, and Joshua briefly wondered if he’d been eating enough.
“What are you doing here, Mr. Stouder? I thought we had an understanding—you either trust me, or you don’t. Or is that the problem? Are you here to pull the plug on the whole thing? Or just to check up on me again?”
“I’m not. I’m…not sure why I’m here,” Joshua said. How could he explain that he’d dreamed of bees every night, and that the bees had urged him to seek out Neil? Or that his long-dead lover had come to him in his sleep and turned into Dr. Green beneath his palms, in the middle of a kiss? How could he say what he suspected was true? “I came to see you,” Joshua said lamely.
Dr. Green tensed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. “You must have a better reason than that. I know I’m a good-looking guy, Mr. Stouder, but not so good looking that you’d fly down here to stand in my living room and stare at me.”
The comment was so Neil-like, so much older than the person who stood in front of him, that Joshua didn’t know what to do with it.
“So, let’s have it. If you’re here to argue more with me about the compressing units, I’ve already told you, I have the protocol designed to shave off that snag, and even though hearing your voice rise in anger is kinda hot, I’ve barely had any sleep and don’t think I can deal with trying to school you on advanced nanite engineering right now.”
“Some people say that arguing is a kind of flirting,” Joshua said, feeling as shocked as Dr. Green looked when the words came out of his mouth.
“Or foreplay,” was Dr. Green’s rejoinder, obviously uttered on instinct and the force of his personality.
They continued to stand and stare at each other for a few moments, a frisson in the air between them, until Dr. Green said, “So…what? You came down here to, uh, ‘argue’ with me some more about the compressing units because, what? You’re that hard up?” His lips turned up in a small smirk. “If I recall correctly, you’ve always gone for a slightly older guy, Mr. Stouder. I’m not exactly your type.” He gestured at his own body. “You’re no chicken hawk.”
Joshua took a sip of the water he’d nearly forgotten he was holding. It was refreshing, cool against his hot throat, so he took another while waiting for an explanation to come to him, some reason to explain why he was there that wasn’t completely ridiculous.
“I keep dreaming about you,” Joshua said. That was not the explanation he was searching for.
