Page 31 of Mr. Frosty Pants
“Like what?”
“You’re the one who’s soul-searching for the meaning of life. What are your career plans?”
Casey’s eyes brightened as he waved a hand toward the interstate. “Ultimately, I want to be part of a revitalization effort, like they did here in Knoxville with the downtown area. The way they brought it back to life and made it better is a beautiful thing. In the short term, though, I want to focus on setting up my own branding and marketing business. I think that’s where my talent is and where I can help immediately. Now I just have to figure out where I want to do that.”
“They’re still making progress downtown. Why can’t it be here?”
“Knoxville is always going to be home, but I can’t live here. My dad…” Casey shook his head. “Anything I achieved here would be tied into him somehow, whether it was because of his reputation or his connections. I want someplace to call my own.”
“I see.” Joel frowned. He hadn’t ever thought Casey would come back to Knoxville for good after he left for school, but disappointment stung anyway. “I’m sure school takes up a lot of your time. And all those hours of therapy.”
Casey rolled his eyes.
Joel pressed. “But what do you do for fun?”
“In New York or here?”
“Anywhere?”
“In the city, I like to people watch.” Casey took a sip of his drink. “It probably sounds kind of creepy and strange, but I like to find a comfortable place and watch folks go by.”
“Why?”
“It’s relaxing and reassuring. Everyone’s got lives to live, places to go, you know? It makes everything I do seem a lot less important in the scheme of things. Also, since I study marketing and branding, I like to make note of what’s popular. What attracts people into a store or a restaurant? That sort of thing.”
“What else?”
“I really like the new Netflix showHarkening. I, uh, sometimes chat on Internet fanboards about where the storylines are going.” Casey fiddled with his straw. “That probably sounds kind of lame, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah. It does.”
Casey shoved Joel’s shoulder.
Joel chuckled. “But I like to read theHarkeningfanboards too. So, I’m not sure I’ve got room to judge.” He took a bite of his sandwich.
“Look,” Casey said brightly. “We still have so much in common. I love horror novels, and you likeHarkening.”
“Oh, yeah. We’re just rolling in commonalities.” Joel set aside his sandwich and took a bite of a lemon cookie. Saliva rushed into his mouth from the tang on his tongue.
Casey licked his lips, eyes on Joel’s mouth, before taking a big bite of his sandwich and chewing for a long time before he pulled his gaze away from Joel.
“So, I guess it’s a feast for a queer guy in the city, huh?” Joel asked, though he immediately wished he hadn’t.
Casey shrugged as sadness swept over his face. “Yeah. I’ve had some experiences. And I’m not ashamed of them. Still, I don’t think casual hookups are really for me, even though it’s hard to walk away from it entirely. I like sex.”
“Nothing wrong with liking to sleep with people,” Joel murmured. “Lots of folks are into all kinds of things. Consensual sharing and poly and all that modern jazz.” Or so he’d heard.
It always sounded awfully complicated to him. But then he hadn’t even had his dick sucked because he was so picky about the mouth attached to the pleasure. He wanted to havefeelingsfor the person at least, if not love them devotedly. That might be old-fashioned or limiting, but he didn’t see what was wrong with it.
“Of course not, if that’s how you’re built. But in the last few years I’ve discovered that my body is capable of enjoying a lot of things that don’t bring me lasting satisfaction. And I want to respect what makes me truly happy. I think that involves finding someone to share deeply with—to shareeverythingwith. The whole of me.” He shivered like a cold wind had swept over him, but the direct winter sun on their shoulders was flat and plenty warm.
“So casual hookups were sort of like smoking,” Joel offered, wanting to smooth away the worried vulnerability that had crept into Casey’s eyes. “You tried it out, didn’t love it, and moved on. Youthful experimentation.”
“I guess, in a way. Yeah. It’s a decent analogy. I admit ‘moving on’ hasn’t been as easy as it was with cigarettes. I never loved smoking. I just loved smoking withyou.”
Joel’s heart did a fluttery little dance. “I wish I could say the same. I’ve been planning to quit for years. There’s always some new reason to buy one more pack.”
“What’s your reason for smoking today?” Casey asked.
