Page 49 of Mr. Frosty Pants
How apropos.
The coffee was hot, and that was the best thing Casey could say about it. Joel sat across from him at the small table and they sipped their steaming cups in silence for a long time. It was starting to get really uncomfortable when Joel cleared his throat and caught Casey’s eye.
“Human piss keeps skunks away,” Joel admitted quietly. “Bruno got sprayed a couple of times last year, and the vet told me if I piss along the property line, the skunks will keep off my land.”
“I see. Next time I’m here, I’ll avoid the bathroom and piss outside instead. Help out.”
Joel’s lips curved into the first genuine smile of the morning. He shook his head, saying nothing, but the contentment of that sweet flash of teeth filled Casey with more warmth than the coffee.
“So you think you’ll be back, huh?” Joel said quietly after a while.
“If you want me to come back.” Casey regretted the words as soon as he said them, fear gripping him that maybe Joel would take that out and forbid him to return.
“Last night was…” Joel cleared his throat. “I could do that again. In fact, if you’re up for it, I’d like to do it again tonight.” He smiled bashfully, leaving Casey’s heart a mess of adoration. “Only if you want.”
Casey nearly told him that he was ridiculous, that he’d wanted this forever, and he wasn’t going to walk away now. But he managed to rein himself in and simply said, “Tonight works for me.”
“Good.” Joel wiped a hand over his face, his shoulders dropping in relief. Had he really thought Casey wasn’t going to want to see him again? And again? And again forever? Did he not get what was happening here?
Probably not, knowing Joel. And if Casey told him, he’d just freak out. Now that he was being nice, Casey wasn’t going to push it. There would be time for declarations and intentions later.
“You don’t have a Christmas tree.” Casey nodded toward the square, sparse living room. He sipped the coffee again, reminded of his Grandpa Stevens’s thermos of cold coffee he always kept in his car. It’d tasted like this, watered down and cheap. “Isn’t that like the shoemaker’s children not having any shoes?”
“While Brandon, my assistant manager, was out of town I was too busy to bother. I got my outdoor stuff up in November but didn’t manage to decorate inside.” Joel shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. There’s no one here but me and Bruno.”
“Do you have decorations?”
“Yeah. I kept my dad’s old box of stuff from when I was a kid.” Joel’s dark lashes fell against his cheek, and Casey wanted to kiss his pale eyelids.
“Then let’s put one up together.”
“Why would you want to do that?”
“Because everyone needs a tree at Christmas.”
“Jews don’t. Muslims don’t. Hindus don’t.”
“Asshole.”
Joel grinned behind his mug but finally shrugged and grew serious again. “Don’t feel obligated just because we…”
“Listen, I didn’t kiss and run, and I don’t fuck and run either.”
“We didn’t fuck.”
“We had sex. Penetration isn’t a requirement.” Casey reached out across the table, palm up, and when Joel let his fingers rest in his hand, he couldn’t resist asking, “So, how does it feel? You’re not a virgin anymore.”
Joel’s cheeks grew red. “I already told you I liked what we did and want to do it again. What else do you want me to say?”
“I guess I just want you to say you’re happy and you don’t regret it.” Casey could only credit Ann’s coaching with his inability to stop being completely honest with Joel.
But he had to credit Joel too.
Because knowing him the way he did, and had, for so very long, deep down he knew Joel wasn’t going to actually kick him to the curb. That’s partly why Casey had to run all the way to New York, wasn’t it? Because despite all of Joel’s crankiness and words to the contrary, he never actually pushed Casey away in any meaningful way, and Casey couldn’t stop going back for more.
As a teenager, Casey had thought it was just loneliness, but now he knew the real reason why: Joel was as in love with him as he’d been in love with Joel.
Probably.
