Page 66 of Mr. Frosty Pants
“And you don’t know that I will.”
Joel shuddered. “What’s your future going to be? You already said you don’t want to live in Knoxville because of your dad. You want a fresh start. Well, guess what? I don’t get a fresh start. I’ve got Vreeland’s, and I’ve got my pop to take care of.”
“Those plans are negotiable. I’m not committed to any of them. I just want something for myself, to know who I am and what I want. And now I know. I want you. I want this.” He touched Joel’s bare shoulder, but Joel shrugged him off.
“Where will you live? In your parents’ house across the lake while I’m here? How will you feel introducing me to your friends or their friends? I’m not like your family.”
“Where I want to live isn’t really second- or third-date conversation material,” he tried to joke.
“You think you want to live with me?” Joel gestured at his living room. “Look around, Casey. Do you really think this is what I want for you?”
“There’s nothing wrong with this place.”
“For me, maybe. But for you? No. Don’t you get it?” Joel’s voice pitched up desperately. “You’re Casey Stevens, son of Jonathan Stevens, vice president of one of biggest petroleum corporations in the country. You’re going toNYU, man! You can’t just…” He waved his hand. “You can’t.”
“None of that matters to me.”
Joel sputtered. “It matters tome. You think I’m going to let you throw away your degree and move into a trailer with me?”
“Throw away my degree?” Casey snorted. “I can work on branding and marketing in Knoxville.”
But Joel was caught up in his rant. “What kind of love is that? Letting you give up so much potential to be with me? Who would I be if that’s the kind of love I gave you?”
Casey’s heart flipped in a scary roll that took his breath away. When he caught it again, he asked slowly, “Now you’re ready to talk about love?”
Joel threw his hands in the air and turned away. “Forget it.”
“You love me?”
“What do you think? I’ve loved you since we were kids.” Joel glared at him over his shoulder. “Sometimes I really think you’re an idiot, you know that?”
“You say I’m Casey Stevens, right? Do you think that means anything important to anyone who isn’t you? Don’t you get it? I’ve been living in New York City, and no one gives a shit about who I am, Joel. I come home, and I’m here just a few days with you, and I feel…alive. For the first time in forever. For the first time in my entire life, it’s awesome to be Casey Stevens. Because ofyou. Not NYU or my apartment in the city. It’s because Joel Vreeland loves me.” He touched Joel’s chin, lifting it to stare into his eyes. “You love me.”
“Don’t use it like a weapon.”
“I’m not.”
“The hell you’re not. You’ve got me quaking here, man.”
Casey took Joel’s hand and pressed it against his chest so he could feel his pounding heart. “And you’ve got me terrified that you’re going to throw this away—throw us away—because you hate my parents’ money, or you’re ashamed that you don’t have as much.”
Joel didn’t pull his hand away. “Get serious. If you really moved in here with me, can you imagine your parents coming to visit you here?”
“No. And that’s fine with me.” Casey shrugged, releasing Joel’s hand. “But if you don’t want me to live here, I wouldn’t have to. I could get an apartment. Until you were ready for us to be something more, and we could figure out what we want our living arrangements to be then.”
“Fuck you,” Joel whispered. “You’re—” He scrubbed at his face. “You’re here stirring up all kinds of shit in me, and I can’t hold still for it. I feel like I’m going to explode.”
“I feel the same way. Right now, the idea of going back to New York seems like hell. I want to stay here with you and be with you all the time. I’m in love with you. And, like you said, I have been forever.”
Bruno sighed heavily at their feet, and Joel used his bare foot to scratch along the dog’s side until Bruno rolled over onto his back, begging Joel to rub his belly.
Casey reached out and rubbed Joel’s back. “Can I give you that massage?”
Joel was silent a long time, but he finally replied, the fight gone out of him. “Only if you’re planning to seduce me again.”
“I promise.”
“And I promise not to cry this time.” Joel’s chest flushed. “Sorry about that.”
