Page 55 of Bitter Heat
Janus looked around for Kerry as he said goodbye to the last of the couples who asked him to come by and check on them, eager to walk him home and ask his opinion of the lecture. But he didn’t find him anywhere. Disappointment welled.
He started toward the path as well, his bag hitched over his shoulder, when Fan grabbed him by the arm. “Come with me,” Fan said, glancing over his shoulder to see that re-doing the dressing of an alpha’s injured shoulder while his pregnant omega cooed and watched closely still occupied Dr. Crescent. “We need to talk.”
Janus didn’t see what they could need to discuss. He’d taken Fan’s advice and kept his mouth closed about everything to do with the abortion attempt, and Kerry rewarded him with weeks of silence, followed by confusing intimacy of both the personal and sexual kind, followed by silence again for the last three days. All he wanted to do was find Kerry, and for once makehimdo the listening.
“You have to convince Kerry to let you handle his needs,” Fan said as soon as they were clear of the stables enough that Dr. Crescent and his patients wouldn’t overhear them. “He’s stubborn and afraid to trust anyone, but an omega shouldn’t be alone through his pregnancy. He should be cared for and well-tended. You heard what this Dr. Chase has discovered in his studies. Kerry’s chances go down the more alone he feels.” Fan leaned close and hissed, “You must seduce him. For his own sake. And the babe’s. It’s your duty.”
“As a doctor?”
“As an alpha!” Fan rolled his eyes. “As a doctor, please. No. That’s not what doctors do, Janus.” He huffed again, glancing toward Crow, where he was still helping the omega learn to change his alpha’s bandages. “But alphas must think of the future of our species, and the health of omegas in their midst. Besides, do you want another alpha from the mountain getting it into his mind to help Kerry?”
Janus bristled at that. “He wouldn’t allow it.”
“Wouldn’t he? If he was alone and feeling vulnerable and needy?”
Janus thought back to the lake and the beach, the way Kerry had given in and urged him to ‘get it over with’ as if he’d needed it—wanted it, maybe—but didn’t truly trust in Janus wholeheartedly. Kerry himself had called what they’d done the result of pheromone delirium and made it seem as though Janus’s personal volition in the act was less important than their biological draw to fuck and be fucked. Janus rubbed a hand over his face, scratching at the beard that he’d failed to shave that morning in his hurry to make it to the lecture on time. He’d wring the neck of any alpha who touched Kerry. He’d throttle them, and beat them, and rip off their manhood, and—
Wolf-god, what was he thinking?
“I see,” Fan said with a hint of smugness. “You’ve already fucked him. That’s good.”
Janus growled softly, annoyed that Fan could see through him so easily.
Fan laughed softly. “Ah, protective. That’s even better. It means you’ve also become emotionally attached. But, to be completely frank, that’s also a bit problematic. As I’m sure you know, he’s contracted to a wealthy and powerful man who’s also a brutal criminal.”
“They force him to share heats with that monster,” Janus croaked out, sweat breaking out on his lower back and nausea filling him. “They give him no choice. Isn’t that rape?”
“Consent for heat-sharing is considered a given at the time of the contract,” Fan said with a grimace. “Omegas can’t change their mind when in heat. You know that. Legally, Kerry must do as his alpha wants when it comes to his heat, criminal or not, so long as the contract is binding. And if not his alpha, then whoever has taken over his alpha’s concerns. The parents, most likely.”
Birdsong rose from the depths of the green forest. “There has to be a way out of it for him.”
Fan tilted his head, deliberating. “Have you considered taking it up with a lawyer? Several omega freedom groups are looking for test cases like this one to push through the court system. Kerry is a good example of people misusing the current system in horrifying ways that abuse omegas and restrict their rights in unfair ways. One could argue this could damage the omega’s chances at successful reproduction. You know how the courts feel about that.” His eyes flew to somewhere over Janus’s shoulder, and he smiled widely, with only a brittle hint of worry. “Crow! C’mere, love, and say goodbye to Janus. He’s trying to talk me into making berry pie for next week.” He turned to Janus again with a tension in his face that Janus hadn’t ever seen there before. He went on with his lie, “I’ve heard good things about Zeke’s cooking, but I know he’s never made a decent pie in his life.”
Janus turned to Dr. Crescent with a fake chuckle in his throat. He wasn’t sure why Fan was hiding their conversation from his alpha, perhaps the mention of omega freedom groups was more liberal than an older, devotedÉrosgápe-bonded alpha like Dr. Crescent could stand. Or maybe he feared what Fan, still barren, might do if omegas had more rights—Érosgápeor not.
“I do love your Fan’s pies,” Janus said with a shrug, playing it off. “I’m thinking snowberry? The last time he served snowberry tart it was so tasty, I almost cried. And they’re ripe all over the hills out there. Surely a pie would be even better.” He shifted his gaze back to Fan. “I’d be happy to gather them for you, Fan, if it makes things easier.”
“No, I’ll do it,” Dr. Crescent said possessively, putting his arm around Fan’s shoulder and gazing down at him with that sickeningÉrosgápedevotion that made alphas want to be the ones who got the credit for doing every last little thing for their omega, right down to tying their shoes in some cases.
In fact, the father of one of Janus’s former lovers had tied his disabled omega’s laces every morning as part of some elaborate dressing ritual, because he couldn’t bear the thought of beta servants touching hisÉrosgápe. It’d been both devotion and possession, and Janus hadn’t known how he felt about it.
Until now.
Thinking of Kerry, if he were in a wheelchair and unable to tie his shoes, Janus would want to be the one to do it. He’d want to kiss each toe and Kerry’s slim ankles, too, before slipping on the socks. He’d want to run his hands up Kerry’s strong, lightly haired calves and…
Wolf-god, he was losing his mind.
Since when had he felt this way about any omega other than Caleb? And even with Caleb he hadn’t been willing to sacrifice, had he? That’s how he’d lost him in the first place. He’d wanted it all, and at Caleb’s expense. And afterward, he’d never allowed himself to askanythingfrom an omega except for the one thing Caleb hadn’t been able to give him: sex.
But with Kerry…
Wolf-god, with Kerry, Janus felt like he might sacrifice nearly anything to be allowed to care for the man. That was easy to say, though, given that they’d already fucked, and he knew Kerry had a strong interest in it. Sex was important to Janus or had been until he’d determined to give it up to improve the state of his character. But if Kerry didn’t ever want to have sex with him again, then so be it. There were other ways for an alpha to care for a pregnant omega.
No matter what, Janus would find a way to be there for Kerry in those other ways. He’d court him, show him what it meant to be fawned over, appreciated, and revered the way every pregnant omega should be treated. And he’d do more than that, too. He’d contact an attorney. See what their options truly were and if there might be an eager omega freedom group looking for a test case.
Kerry could benefit from having other men on his side, even if he rejected all of Janus’s carnal desires going forward. Yes, there had to be something he could do for the quiet, prickly man he’d come to feel the urgent need to protect and soothe.
He cleared his throat, took his leave of Fan and Dr. Crescent, and started back down the hill toward Monk’s House, wondering if he should feel irritated or used by the fact that Zeke, and now Fan, were clearly planning to involve him in a situation that was way above his pay grade and complicated beyond measure.
