Page 78 of Bitter Heat
But when he opened the door, he found Caleb—not his pater—standing there sans infant with a quiet expression and a ripe peach balanced in his palm. “May I come in?”
Kerry nodded and gestured with one hand for Caleb to sit in the only chair the room boasted. Situated by the window, it was where Kerry had left it several days before.
As Caleb took a seat in the chair, Kerry awkwardly realized that he’d have to sit in the sill. Or he could sit on the bed, but then Caleb would have to turn the chair, and wolf-god, this was already so awkward. But so was climbing into the windowsill when hugely pregnant. He hefted himself up, though, in the least graceful manner possible, and settled himself.
“You should have had the chair,” Caleb said when it was all said and done. “I would have offered, but I assumed you’d refuse, and well, you’re there now.”
Kerry huffed a soft laugh and shoved his long, unruly hair behind his ears. He wished he had straight, perfect, chin-length hair like Caleb, instead of flyaway snakes curling every which way.
“Well, first off, this peach is for you,” Caleb said, lifting it up. “A gift from a man who is quite obviously besotted with you.”
“Besotted. Is that a word used outsides of romance novels?” Kerry murmured, not taking the peach.
“I like romance novels,” Caleb said with a shrug. “And having never experienced the sensation of being besotted myself, I rather enjoy reading about others who do. The heart-racing violence of it all. It’s charming.”
“Charming.”
Caleb laughed and shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. It’s certainlysomething. Messy for sure, and I don’t just mean the often-resulting sex that comes from it all. But emotionally. I’m glad to be clear of it all. Or I am now. There was a time I thought there was something wrong with me.” He frowned and pushed the peach forward again. “I’m getting ahead of myself. Janus wanted me to see that you eat this peach. He said it was full of nutrients for the child and sweetness for you.”
Kerry snorted again. “He thought I needed sweetening this morning?”
“Didn’t you?”
Rather than be offended by Caleb’s straightforward way, Kerry relaxed in the face of it. He reached out and took the peach. “Thank you. For delivering this and his message.”
“Let me clear a few things up for you. Whatever you think of Janus and me, now or in the past, you’re wrong,” Caleb said in a quiet voice. “Mainly because you’re jealous. And you shouldn’t be. Not at all.”
Kerry squirmed like a little boy, humiliation hot and thick pulsing in him like a living thing. “Because you didn’t love him back.”
Caleb startled Kerry with a laugh that was nearly as pretty as he was. Kerry wished he could be annoyed instead of charmed, but he wasn’t. Well, not entirely. “Oh, I loved him, but not the way he wanted me to. Or thought he wanted me to.” Caleb frowned, and his cheeks grew pink. “There are different ways to love, and I loved him dearly as a friend, as someone I would, quite frankly, have trusted with my future, with some stipulations and an understanding between us about my own needs.”
Kerry tilted his head.
Caleb shrugged. “I don’t usually discuss it. It’s no one’s business but my own. But given how much intimacy has been thrust upon us with this situation,” here he gestured at Kerry’s stomach, “I will be entirely open with you. Perhaps to the point of humiliation for us both.”
“You don’t have to…”
“I know. But I will. Because you must see that even though I loved him and he betrayed my love, it was for the best. For both of us. I’m an anomaly. I’m an omega who is, generally, repulsed by sex. I don’t feel the same stirrings for an alpha. Even during heats, I struggle against the sensations and loathe the act.”
Kerry stared at him, speechless.
“It’s only with the help of my very patient alpha and our devoted doctor that I’ve come to a place where I can almost enjoy heats. If nothing else, I’m with an alpha I trust implicitly to help me with them, and to never violate me in any way, to always seek my consent and pleasure, and to not be hurt when I want nothing to do with him inthat wayotherwise.”
Caleb’s cheeks were still red, but he spoke with the same self-aware confidence that he spoke about anything else. He was not the least bit lessened by his confession, and Kerry was intrigued by that. But still…
“Your lack of desire for Janus didn’t prevent him from wanting you, though,” Kerry said.
Caleb shrugged. “Perhaps. But you’ve wanted other men, haven’t you, Kerry?”
Kerry stared at him. “Yes.”
“You’ve even been in love with another man.”
Kerry shook his head. “No,” he whispered. “Never.”
“Never? Not even with your alpha before he…”
Kerry shook his head. “There were other reasons I contracted with him. But I didn’t know what he truly was, either. I hoped to love him. One day.”
