Page 91 of Bitter Heat
“Excuse me?” Lukas said, annoyance with Dr. Rose’s audacity snapping him from his despair.
“I said what I said,” Dr. Rose murmured. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll pack my things. I assume we’ll be going right away?”
Lukas nodded. Then with some pains, he managed to gather Monte into his arms and carried him from the dining room. His back was straight and his head up, attempting to maintain dignity, but Monte had lost all of it. He clung like a child and sobbed, broken-hearted and lost. Kerry almost felt sorry for him. He knew what it was like to see one’s future hopes dashed into shards on the floor.
But just then the baby started to whine, and Kerry’s attention diverted from sympathy to the burden of paterhood. He undid his shirt, pressed the baby to his chest, and closed his eyes as the sharp suction took hold. The milk releasing felt like sharp, stinging needles in his armpits and chest that gradually faded away. Dr. Crescent said this was normal.
Kerry’s eyes popped open when Janus nosed at his neck, scenting him again, the way he had for hours after the birth. The dining room was empty now—just the two of them and the baby. Janus nosed at his hair, his jaw, and then down to his chest, scenting the milk as it went into the baby’s mouth.
“What will we call him?” Janus asked when he finished, a blissfully peaceful expression on his face.
Kerry swallowed hard and shrugged. “I haven’t thought about it.”
“All these months and not a single idea?”
Kerry smiled gently, surprised to find the answer there in the back of his mind. “I suppose I thought Monte and Lukas would name him, but…”
“But?”
“But when I was sewing clothes for him, in my mind, I’d think of him as…” He broke off, feeling oddly shy now that he had to speak the name aloud.
“As?”
“Tristan.”
“Tristan Heelies,” Janus said. “I like it. Do you want a middle name?”
Kerry’s throat went tight, and he squeezed Tristan tighter than he should, making the baby pop off in protest. Kerry relaxed his hands quickly and fought a shock of tears as he asked, “You want him to have your name?”
Janus looked up from where he was guiding Tristan back to Kerry’s nipple. “Of course. Yes. Whose name should he have? Yours? I suppose if that’s what you want. Tristan Monkburn is a fine name, too.”
Kerry’s chin began to wobble. His eyes were wet, and he knew tears would slip down at any moment.
“Oh, for wolf-god’s sake,” Janus murmured, leaning close to wipe the tears away. “As if I’d ever let our child havehisname. He’s ours now. They walked away from the bargaining table. Lukas knew they’d lost the moment he saw me, and Monte knows it now, too. It’s over, sweetheart. You, me, and Tristan are a family. And Zeke. Can’t forget him.”
“Tristan Ezekial Heelies?”
Janus nodded and kissed Kerry’s forehead. “Perfect. Let’s go upstairs. We both could use a nap. It’s been a long day and a half.”
Kerry didn’t protest, letting Janus help him up the stairs and into his room. They both tried to ignore the sobs coming from the room down the hall, and instead curled up in Kerry’s narrow bed together, the baby, still suckling, in between.
The golden cage stood empty in the middle of the room. The window was still open as if Kiwi might fly back into the house, and make his way back inside. But Kerry knew he wouldn’t.
A caged thing, once freed, never wanted to go back again.
He curled into the arms ofhisfreedom, his lover, hisÉrosgápe, and breathed in deep. For the first time in a very long time, peace settled over him, and he knew, deep down, he was truly safe.
And loved.
EPILOGUE
Three weeks after Tristan’s birth
Dear Janus,
Congratulations! That is the first order of things, isn’t it? A hearty blessing on you and Kerry on the felicitous event of discovering you areÉrosgápe. I am on the one hand astounded by the news, but upon the other not at all shocked. Reflection has made a few key things evident, and I recognize that, yes, there were signs even to me.
As for our business, I’m glad to write up the custody arrangement and ensure that it is signed. I will also cancel my dealings with the omega freedom groups on Kerry’s behalf. I admit, my sole regret at finding you areÉrosgápeis the loss to the freedom groups who were ready to champion his cause. The precedent set, should they have obtained a humane ruling, would have put other omegas in a much better position going forward.
