Page 19 of Bitter Heat
Kerry tried, but his breathing was ragged, and suddenly, the scent of pine and earth was gone. All he could smell was the prison’s permeating scent of piss and fear.
Fan continued to speak calmly. “Close your eyes and imagine you’re standing next to Hud’s Basin. Can you see the lake? How it reflects the evergreens?”
Kerry whimpered.
Fan went on, “The sky above is a deep, cloudless blue. The sun is warm. The waters are smooth and lovely. It’s summer.” His voice was like a lullaby. Calm and tender. “You’re floating in the water. The sky above, the lake below, supporting you gently. Breathe in and out. In and out.”
Kerry gave into the suggestions issued in Fan’s serene voice and visualized his beloved lake. Slowly, his breathing calmed, and his memories of Wilbet faded. His muscles relaxed, including his anus, allowing Fan to move deeper inside.
Fan’s hand was small for a man’s, but once lodged in Kerry’s passage, it did feel quite a bit like a small, squirming knot. Kerry kept breathing, refusing to admit memories of Wilbet’s much larger knot to his consciousness. He knew he’d tense again, so he kept his mind firmly on the twinkling, shifting water of his imagined lake. Fan’s fingers, as he unfurled them inside, tickled and Kerry made a soft noise, almost a laugh, at the unexpected sensation. Taking that as a sign to move ahead, Fan shoved deeper and pressed his paste-covered fingers against the entrance to Kerry’s womb.
Kerry stilled. The sensation was good, like an alpha’s cock pressing for entrance during heat, and yet terrifying.
“There,” Fan said, after rubbing in circles around the puckered, tightly closed entrance. “Normally, this part of you will only open during heat to admit the crown of your alpha’s cock, and, of course, during childbirth. But this paste will trick it into opening now. It’ll start to work right away to ripen you, and shortly, minor cramps will begin. Many describe the initial cramps as a burning sensation.” Fan gently tugged his hand free, and a wet, slurping sound came from Kerry’s ass as he exited.
The familiar gape-and-grip sensation followed, and Kerry shuddered through it, still fervently refusing to think of Wilbet and the way his alpha cock had left Kerry stretched open like this. Shortly, his anus ostensibly returned to normal. It still felt tender, though, stretched too quickly and without any sexual gratification attached.
An urge to sob grabbed Kerry, but he fought it back, and he buried his face in his hands, praying.
“I’ll be right back, little one. I need to wash up.”
Kerry nodded into the blankets, his buttocks and legs trembling, and his chin wobbling, too. As water ran in the sink from the attached bathroom, he took the time to compose himself. Then, the sound of water came again, from farther away in the small house, perhaps the kitchen area.
When Fan returned, Kerry was still on his knees, face in the mattress, feeling odd and fragile. His anus ached from the invasion. His heart felt burdened with what he’d chosen. And his womb burned with whatever Fan had pressed into him. He rose up onto the bed at Fan’s behest, his legs shaking and his hands trembling too hard to hold the glass of water Fan had brought for him.
Finally, after a few sips, assisted by Fan, he was able to calm down enough to take the glass and hold it for himself.
“Do you feel the womb entrance opening?” Fan asked.
Kerry nodded.
“It’s uncomfortable, I know, but you can endure it.” He put an arm around Kerry’s shoulder and hugged. Then he let go, reaching for the tin. “Now, these pills… They’ll need to be taken very soon, before the womb’s entrance closes again. You can take them now, here with me, and I will guide you through it.”
“But if Dr. Crescent comes home…? And the new doctor?” Kerry’s mind went to Janus, imagining the alpha seeing him sweating through a miscarriage. He felt sick at the idea.
Fan, misunderstanding, waved his concern away. “Even if Crow returns home earlier than expected, he’ll think I’m helping you through a typical miscarriage. Nothing new. Or, if you prefer privacy and home, as I said earlier, you can take the pills with you to miscarry under your pater’s care.”
“And if there are complications?”
Fan frowned. “Then your pater must call for Crow, of course. Don’t bother holding back the truth from Crow if necessary. Crow pretends not to hear anything that has to do with me. But he may need to know what medicines you’ve taken to treat any complications properly. Hopefully, this will be a smooth expulsion. Well, as smooth as something this painful can be.” Fan held up the tin for Kerry to take.
Kerry looked around the cozy room. As kind as Fan was being, and as comfortable as his home seemed to be, Kerry wanted to escape it. He didn’t want to be with anyone when he did what he must. He wanted to be out under the sky with the pine needles of the forest beneath his hands and knees, crying out to wolf-god in the temple of his creation as he finally ended this current nightmare of Wilbet’s cruel and selfish making.
“I’ll take them at home.” It disturbed Kerry how easily he lied now. Another thing he’d learned from a life with Wilbet.
Fan seemed to sense something amiss. He cocked his head and examined Kerry closely. “With your pater? At home?” he confirmed.
Kerry smiled tightly in response.
Fan went on, “The pills will take ten to fifteen minutes to take effect.”
Kerry nodded.
Fan passed the tin of tablets into Kerry’s palm but still seemed reluctant about it. “All right. I’ll have Crow call around tomorrow afternoon to check on you—”
“Please don’t. I’ll be fine.”
Fan frowned, his delicate brow creasing. “My gut is telling me to have him look in, little one.”
