Page 53 of Bitter Heat
Kerry shot his pater a droll look. “He’s a horny alpha. Nothing more.”
“Lies. He aches for you. You should see how he looks at you, son. All that desire writ as plain as day on his face.”
Kerry huffed, his eye catching the slink of a wildcat near the forest’s edge. “That’s pheromone delirium. Nothing more.”
“Pheromone delirium is reserved forÉrosgápe, son.” He raised his hand when Kerry started to argue. “Yes, the pheromones of any omega will act on all alphas, that’s true. But this with Janus is something more.”
“He’s an alpha. That’s all. Why do you want to make it into something it’s not?” Kerry stared at the cat as it hid in the green leafy bushes close to the trail, its eyes on a rabbit chomping innocently on the long grass near Pater’s garden. He didn’t believe his own words, so why did he hope his pater would?
“Any alpha would be willing to relieve your needs, of course, especially if you spent much time around each other without the buffer of your alpha’s presence. And yes, I hoped Janus would follow that instinct. But son, the good news is it’s gone beyond that. Januswantsyou, truly, as only an alpha wants an omega. Haven’t you noticed how he samples the air when you walk into the room? There’s more between you than a simple case of pheromone-enhanced lust.”
“Stop. Don’t do this to me, Pater,” Kerry said, his throat going tight and his voice husky. He dashed is fingers over his wet eyes. “Don’t make me hope. Please. Don’t be so cruel.”
“I’m trying to save you.”
“You can’t!” Kerry rose from the rocking chair, leaving the sewing kit behind, and stomped up the stairs to his room, tears standing in his eyes. He shut the door and stood against it, shivering.
Wolf-god, he didn’t know what to make of what he’d done with Janus, how it had felt. Sex had never been like that before. Not with anyone. He hadn’t been a virgin when Wilbet had first fucked him. He’d screwed his roommate Reyman a few times, but he’d been a beta, and while that was always fun, always pleasant, he’d been unprepared the first time with Wilbet, for the fullness that came from being fucked by an alpha-sized cock. For years, he’d told himself that he hated it. Hated that feeling of being so vulnerably full. And when it was over, he hated being left wrecked, gaping open, and empty.
But after Janus, he remembered it wasn’t true that he’d hated being fucked by an alpha. Memories of the first few weeks of his contract with Wilbet had come pouring in throughout the day. At the very first, right after they’d contracted, sex with Wilbet had been good. Exciting. Fun. But after they’d left the island where they’d purchased Kiwi, Kerry had the unpleasant discovery of the way Wilbet really preferred to fuck—violent, painful, and with a punch at the end—and sex had never been the same again.
Until yesterday.
With Janus, there had been genuine lust, excitement, and pleasure. There’d been delicious orgasms of multiple types and duration, andfuck, there’d been such sweet feelings, too. Kerry was terrified.
What was he going to do? And Pater urging him to do it again wasn’t helpful. What if it kept on feeling good? What if Kerry grew toneedit? Like all the time? After the pregnancy even? What then? How was he ever going to go back to never feeling cared for and truly full? What if he was never again made to come like all wolf-god’s joy was bursting from him? What if all his future held were episodes of Wilbet’s rough hands around his throat, choking him as he was forced to come on his enormous cock and endure endless pregnancies from the monster’s seed? What if Wilbet killed him next time?
Kerry was losing his mind.
Sliding down to the floor, he felt tears slip from his eyes and slick glide from his hole as he remembered Janus’s gentle caretaking the evening before. The sex had been so good. So incredibly, intensely good. Kerry hadn’t had any idea that it could be like that. None at all. Even the “good” sex with Wilbet before it’d gone so bad hadn’t compared.
Kerry put his hand on his belly and felt the baby somersaulting within. Why would Janus want him? Why would he make him feel good like that? Kerry was full of a monster’s child, growing larger by the day, and wolf-god, he wasn’t even nice to Janus half the time, terrified by the draw he felt toward him.
And yet, Janus had wanted him, maybe even more than Kerry had wanted Janus. And both times, when Janus had come, his huge cock thudding like a rocket in Kerry’s ass, he’d looked starstruck, dazzled, and undone. He’d nearly begged Kerry not to walk away, to let him help him again, and yet…
Janus hadn’t come to Kerry’s room last night. He hadn’t stopped by before leaving this morning. What if he’d rethought his desire for Kerry in the meantime? Kerry was making himself crazy with all his second-guessing and wanting.
Shaking free of the morass, he stood again, forcing himself to his writing desk. He took out a piece of paper and started a letter to his in-laws, ignoring the ongoing release of slick and the sensitive twitching of his needy hole.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Near the stable,Dr. Crescent and Fan had arranged outdoor seating made out of logs around a central table on which sat several books and a few tools of the trade including diagrams of pregnant omegas, their womb, and the channel the child inside must exit through.
It was three days after the events by the lake, and Janus was in the crowd rather than assisting because childbirth education was something Fan had long experience with and enjoyed doing. Fan stood by Dr. Crescent, next to the table as he taught the assembled group of omegas and alphas, demonstrating everything they would need to know with the models, diagrams, and occasionally, with his own body by miming the birthing process. This last bit was very dramatic and left many omegas and alphas laughing nervously, but Fan clearly had a flair for the theatrical, and so it went on a bit long.
“Now that we’ve covered the basics,” Dr. Crescent said, pulling his omega up from the examining table which was doubling as a ‘birthing bed’ for Fan’s lesson, “Fan’ll go over a few other issues pregnant omegas might face. Darlin’? Go on.”
Fan smirked and raised a dark brow. “Let’s discuss undue arousal.” He sent a considering look around at the crowd, his gaze catching on Janus before trailing around the circle to where Kerry sat alone, his hand on his stomach and his eyes wide with worry. “All pregnant omegas experience strong lust during pregnancy. The increased blood circulation to the womb inflames the genitals as a whole. Slick will be released. Erections will become erratic like during puberty. It’s all entirely normal and nothing to be ashamed of.”
The other alphas around the circle guffawed, and put their arms around their omegas, shaking them gently, murmurs of “little slut” and “that’s my sweet whore” rose up with a jovial, teasing enthusiasm. Janus saw Kerry’s face turn red and his gaze fall to the ground. He wrapped his arms more securely around himself, looking small and alone. Janus fought the urge to go to him, slip an arm around his waist and reassure him. But he’d been explicitly warned away and wouldn’t violate Kerry’s consent and autonomy. He’d court but never press.
“Oh, don’t pretend it’s all on them,” Dr. Crescent interrupted the teasing alphas. “Yeah, they’re eager as rabbits on a full moon night, but you’re all just as hot and longin’ for wolf-god’s so-called union o’ souls. That’s the way of it.”
Fan nodded in agreement, lifting a finger. “Now, can anyone tell me why?” His sharp, dark gaze met Janus’s. “How about you, Janus?”
Janus coughed. He was there as Dr. Crescent’s nurse. He wasn’t an alpha with a pregnant omega, so he didn’t know why Fan decided to single him out. “Pheromones.”
“Right.” Fan snapped his fingers. “That’s correct. Pheromones are always strongest betweenÉrosgápe, undeniable in that case.”
