Page 117 of Smoky Mountain Dreams
“Well, she’s nearing the end of her project. It has to be anenormous relief to have reached her goal, even if she’s not sure if she wantsto finish it yet.”
“Do you think she still believes it’s going to heal Marcy?”
Christopher nudged his shoulder against Jesse’s as theywalked. “I don’t know. We just have to wait and see. I think she’s scared itwon’t work.”
“Itwon’twork.”
“I know.” Christopher cleared his throat. “I wish it wasn’tgoing to break her heart, but I guess there’s no way that isn’t going tohappen. Maybe this will be the only time she breaks her own heart this way. Notlike me.”
“Her heart’s been broken a long time. Maybe this will helpit heal. Not the disappointment, but having our support.” Looking around andseeing no one close, he put his hand in Christopher’s and squeezed beforeletting go.
“Sometimes we have to let go of that last bit of false hopeto find our way free to the real hope,” Christopher said, his voice tight withemotion. “My mom disowned me, and letting go of her—of all of them—led me tobeing here today with you instead of back in Knoxville walking on eggshellsaround people who don’t love me.”
Jesse tugged him close and kissed him. “Letting go of yourmom doesn’t mean you have to let go of your Gran, you know.”
“I know. I’ll talk to Gran soon.” He sighed. “Jackie textedagain. She said Bob’s been released and Mom is holding to what she said to meat the hospital. Apparently, she believes God approved of her decision and that’swhy Bob’s going to be okay.”
Jesse thought of Ronnie and their conversation onThanksgiving. She believed things about God and miracles that he never would,but even Ronnie seemed less unhinged than Christopher’s family, especially ifwhat she said about coming around on homosexuality was true. He wished he knewwhat to make of that.
“I’m sorry, Christopher.”
“I’m not. Like I said to Brigid, I lost her a long time ago.I need to accept that and move on. Maybe I can still keep Jackie and Joe andthe kids. But maybe not. Jackie’s always been a mama’s girl.” Christophernodded ahead on the trail. “Look, that’s a good tree there. Or is it too tall?I think it would fit in that space by the big window in your den, wouldn’t it?”
Jesse understood that Christopher didn’t want to talkanymore about his family, so he gave the tree a good look over, declaring thatit would absolutely do for the living room.
“Now we just need to get someone to load it up on top of theminivan for us,” Jesse said several minutes later, dragging the tree alongbehind him. “Then we can pick out some wreaths and head back home.”
Christopher’s cheeks glowed in the cool, morningtemperatures. It was probably too much to hope for before January, but he’dlove to see Christopher in the snow. He could just imagine him in the back yardbuilding a fort with Will, or having a snowball war with Will and Frankie-Jones.It made his heart ache with fondness, and Jesse reached out to touchChristopher’s arm as they approached the barn again.
Brigid ran toward them with a grin on her face and a bag inher hand. Will danced by the bluegrass band, kicking his feet up like he’d seenRiverdance a few too many times. Christopher listened to Brigid talking abouther purchases and Jesse watched them happily. He didn’t expect her tocompletely give up her resentment overnight, but Christopher had clearly gottenthrough to her by offering to help with the cranes.
While Jesse supervised the tree’s attachment to the roof ofthe minivan, he noticed Christopher had been pulled aside by a handsome,bearded man, and it only took a second longer to recognize the man as theblacksmith from Smoky Mountain Dreams. Taller than Christopher and broader byfar, the blacksmith spoke to him earnestly, his cheeks red and eyes cast down.
Christopher shifted uncomfortably, his eyes wandering overto Brigid and Will where they stood watching other children get pulled aroundin a decorated wagon by the small tractor. Jesse tried to read Christopher’slips when he spoke, but he couldn’t tell what he was saying.
The blacksmith shook his head at whatever it was and thenput his fingers on Christopher’s chin to tilt his head up, forcing Christopherto meet his eye. Anger flashed in Jesse, hot and consuming. He abandoned hissupervision of the tree loading to stalk toward the man touching Christopherwith so much proprietary tenderness.
“…won’t forgive me, I know,” the man said, his voicetrailing into quiet when he saw Jesse approaching.
“I’m happy, okay?” Christopher said, putting his hand onGareth’s and bringing it down from his chin. “It’s not just because you waitedtoo long. We wouldn’t have been right together anyway, Gareth.”
Gareth! That was the guy’s name. Jesse cleared his throat. “Everythingokay here?”
Christopher nodded, but he looked sad, his eyes falling backto the ground. “Jesse, this is Gareth Winston from work. I’m not sure you’ve met.He was…we were…” Christopher’s eyes had a kind of pleading in them. “He came tobuy a tree too.”
“Good luck finding the right one,” Jesse said. “I guessChristopher was just telling you about our plans to head back home to decoratethe tree and have a nice night together as afamily?”
Christopher’s cheeks flushed and he met Jesse’s eyes with astrange combination of embarrassment and excitement. Yes, Jesse’d said it.Family.
“I’ll see you at work,” Christopher said to Gareth.
Gareth grunted and took a step back. He eyed Christopheragain. “If it don’t work out, or you just need a friend, give me a call.” Hewalked away without even looking at Jesse again.
“You didn’t have to rub it in,” Christopher said softly,watching Gareth go.
“I was trying to make a point.”
Christopher laughed under his breath. “That I’m notavailable?”
