Page 68 of Smoky Mountain Dreams
Jesse sighed. “I talked to her about how her behavior wasn’tacceptable, how it had embarrassed me and also worried me that she’d dosomething so unkind to someone she doesn’t even know.” He didn’t add that he’dbeen relieved her behavior hadn’t run Christopher off.
“What did she say about her reasons?”
“She mainly just begged me not to take her iPad away, which,I have to admit, I was pretty disappointed in, too. I’d hoped for remorse forbeing awful to you and I’m not sure what I got. She lost her iPad for a weekand she’s supposed to apologize to you when she sees you.”
“That’s not…I mean, I don’t need that from her.”
“I want her to grow up to be a decent person, and learningto apologize is part of that.”
“I’m sorry that something about me set her off. Do you thinkit was seeing us in your studio?”
“Yeah, but she wasn’t kind to you when she met you either. Iguess she sensed…well, it doesn’t matter what she might have been sensing.Because after the disciplinary aspect was dealt with and her friends had gonehome, we had a long talk.”
Christopher began unpacking the picnic basket, and Jesse helped.French bread, Nutella and a knife, pumpkin-spice almond butter, andapple-cranberry stuffed pork roast.
“It wasn’t an easy talk. I realize now that I should havehad it with her some time ago, and I plan to have a version of it with Willover Thanksgiving weekend.”
Christopher nodded, opening the almond butter and spooningsome onto the plates Jesse had packed.
“Essentially, I reminded her that some men are romanticallyand physically attracted to other men, and that I am one of those men. That washard for her to hear again because she’s older now and gets what that means.She hears the nastiness directed at boys in her school deemed to be faggots,and I think she’s scared of what me being bi might mean for her socially.”
Christopher frowned slightly but nodded.
“I can’t blame her for that. I think it also confuses herabout what it means for our family. What it would look like for a man insteadof a woman to be in our lives. I tried to explain that it doesn’t have to bethat different, but how do I know? I’ve never been in a relationship with aguy. We’re, what? A month into whatever is happening between us, and I don’tactually know what it will be like.”
“I understand.”
“Anyway, she kept asking me why I wouldn’t just please datea woman, so I told her that sometimes I liked women, but that right now I likeyou—” he broke off, his heart leaping into his throat. Was that too much?Surely Christopher knew how he felt about him. It had to be obvious.
With a smile, Christopher glanced up at him. “I like youtoo.”
Phew.“And I let her know that Iunderstood it was confusing, but her mom has been gone a long time now and I’mready to…at least entertain the idea of…well, starting something romantic withsomeone I really like.”
Christopher swallowed hard. “How did she react to that?”
Jesse sighed. “She cried.”
Christopher stopped putting together a sandwich with thepork and French bread and looked up at Jesse, his face pinched. “Oh my God. I’msorry.”
“I think it was in reaction to a lot of things. She wouldn’treally talk to me about it. I’m thinking about setting her up for moreappointments with Dr. Charles. He was the kids’ therapist for the year afterthe accident. They still see him occasionally.”
Christopher squeezed Jesse’s wrist. Encouraging warmth spreadthrough his skin, and Jesse grabbed hold of Chris’s hand to bring his fingersup to his lips and kiss them. They weren’t dainty fingers at all—nothing likeMarcy’s or even Hope’s. They were masculine, and golden hair glistened at hisknuckles and wrist. Christopher pulled his hand away to brush a leaf from Jesse’shair and then smiled at him. “Go on,” he said, returning to his food prep. “I’mlistening.”
Jesse cleared his throat and held back the thank you,instead picking up where he left off. “I think she’s had some idea that if Iever dated, it would be a woman, and maybe there’s been a lingering hope thatshe might end up with…” Jesse didn’t want to say the words.
“That she might have a mom again.”
Jesse nodded.
Christopher sighed and gazed off toward the mountains, hisbrows creased and sorrow laced with empathy on his face. “Poor kid. God, that’sjust so rough.”
“It’s not easy.”
“I want to make it easier for her.” Christopher turned tohim. “How can I do that? Stay away? Come around more? I mean, assuming you wantme around. I just—we’ve gone kind of from zero to sixty and I don’t want yourdaughter to be a casualty of that.”
“I don’t know how to slow this down. Do you?”
“Stop seeing each other?” Christopher suggestedhalf-heartedly.
