Page 31 of Raise Up, Heart
Emily rolls her eyes. “Cole, I love you, but moving on is a good thing. Even you have to admit that.”
Cole presses his lips together to keep from yelling at her. She doesn’t know anything at all. She has no idea what Damon has done to be with him again. Who he killed. She’s soclueless. And, damn, he still loves her so much that he wants her to stay that way.
“No, I don’t,” Cole says through his teeth.
Emily’s eyes flicker a little, and she’s worried now, and sorry. He can see that. She’s thoughtless sometimes, but he knows that in the end she loves him and hates to see him hurt.
“Cole,” she starts, but Michael interrupts.
“Emily, we’re going to miss the movie.”
“Yeah, okay,” she says, and she touches Cole’s arm as Michael pays for the load of crap they dump on the counter.
“You’re scaring us, Cole,” she says softly. “We just want you to be happy.”
Cole lets out a shaky breath and tries out his smile for her. It’s a little harsh, but he’s got to get this under control. “I know, Emily. I love you, too.”
He nods at Michael and heads out the door. When he looks back, she’s watching him with sad eyes, and he blows her a kiss. She gives him a closed-lip smile before turning back to Michael and their junk.
The brown Honda is parked in space 71, and Cole shoves three bills into the appropriate slot, allowing them another day before the car will be towed and the owner sought. It’s a piece of trash, and Cole can’t really imagine Damon driving it. He doesn’t actuallywantto imagine Damon driving anything.
The drive to his sister’s apartment is terrifying, because it takes him further and further from Damon. He can feel the tenuous link between them stretching, getting thinner the more miles that are put between them, and he fights the urge to go back. He has to get started on the plan. There’s no time to lose.
His father’s car is in the drive. Cole pulls up next to it and hesitates before getting out. He’s disappointed that he’s lost a good excuse to leave if things escalate into an emotional mess that he doesn’t feel up to dealing with but also sort of relieved that he can do this all at once. It’ll be easier if he doesn’t have to repeat himself too much. Two birds. One stone.
“Cole, where have you been? I texted you and texted you.” Rosanna crosses her arms over her bosom. “What if there had been an emergency?”
The words nearly freeze Cole in place. Memories tumble over him of texts alerting him to an emergency once, and he’s breathless for a second. It’s an echo that feels too loud right now when everything has been ripped apart again.
“I’m glad you’re both here,” he says to them, and he forces a smile, an easy attitude. “I’ve got news. Important news.”
Rosanna looks at their father with that patented expression of concern that Cole’s seen on her face so many times when it comes to him, especially after Damon’s death. She guides him to sit on her sofa, and his father follow close behind, taking the seat next to him. Rosanna, for her part, opts to stand. Hovering is her specialty.
“Cole, your sister’s been worried,” his dad begins, and Cole has to fight not to roll his eyes.
Of course, it’s how it’s always been. Dad deflecting onto Rosanna, and Rosanna not even arguing that Dad’s probably been feeding into the whole thing himself. Cole knows. He’s seen it enough over the years.
“I know, and I’m sorry about that,” he says, smiling and clenching his hands together to keep them from noticeably trembling. “I’ve been a mess the last week, but that’s over.”
“Over?” Rosanna asks. “What do you mean? Just last night you stayed over at some…well, who knows whose house, and you didn’t even check in! What if he’d been a murderer?”
“Rosanna,” Cole says, smiling and forcing a little laugh to make it more authentic. “I’m not sixteen. If I want to spend the night with a guy, I can do that. I’m allowed.”
Even if Damon is a murderer in his own way.
Rosanna’s mouth falls open. “Dad, aren’t you going to say something?”
His dad’s looking at him carefully, like he sometimes does, as if he’s trying to figure out just who Cole is and what makes him tick. “Rosanna, he’s right. He doesn’t have to explain himself.”
“But Cole,” Rosanna says. “It’s not like you to behave like that. It’s just that—well, sex has always been something special to you, and I hate to see that change.”
Cole says, “Rosanna, I’m sorry, but I just don’t see how this is your business.”
“I gotta say, kiddo. I think Cole’s right,” Dad says again, putting a hand on her shoulder. It sometimes bothers Cole how he does that, like he’s keeping her in line. Though Cole gets it. Sometimes his sister needs to be kept in line.
“But that’s not the news,” Cole says, smiling and trying to look as happy as he possibly can. He remembers that Damon isaliveand that helps. “I’ve decided what I want to do with my life.”
Rosanna looks at their father again, and then back to Cole. “Honey, you’re already doing so much with your life. You’ve got the Appalachian Rainbows and Hardiest Hearts, and you’re doing an admirable job with Hart Trucking—”
