Page 32 of Raise Up, Heart
“No,” Cole says. “No, I’m really not. I’ve been distracted and let the directors handle it. Mom’s right.”
He hates to throw his mom under the bus, but she’s strong. She can take it. And it’s necessary. It adds weight and deflects his sister’s anger and attention onto their mom, leaving him a lot more breathing room to maneuver. By the time she figures it out, if she ever figures it out, he’ll be on his way to a new life, and she’ll be powerless to stop it.
“Mom’s right aboutwhat?” Rosanna says, and she’s angry now. It’s even better than he hoped, and he feels only a little guilty.
“It’s time I make a decision about the trucking company. Grandpa didn’t give it to me to just barely keep it afloat. I can do better than that.”
“Well, honey, Grandpa doesn’t—”
Cole interrupts her, saying with excitement, “And Mom’s absolutely right, I can’t do that from Maryville.”
His mother’s never said any such thing, but Rosanna will believe that she did. It could take months just to sort this lie out. And there will be so many others to untangle, too, before they get anywhere close to the truth. Which they never will.
“What?” Rosanna exclaims, and their dad’s watching Cole so closely that Cole knows he has to be good, really good, the best he’s ever been.
Rosanna says, “And justwheredoes Mom think you have to be to manage a trucking company?”
“It’s not about managing it. It’s about claiming it as my own. I want to start a fresh branch. Build something new and mine. An offshoot of Hart Trucking. I want to go into shipping.”
“Where?”
“Somewhere near an international port, for one thing,” Cole says. “That’s where the best-paying cargo hauls come from, after all. Rosanna, listen, I know you’re upset, but you know how hard the last few years have been for me. I need a fresh start. I need to get away from Maryville. From the memories.”
“From yourfamily?” Rosanna asks desperately.
Cole sighs, and he stands, approaching her with his hands out, begging her with his body to understand. “Rosanna, it’s so hard here. I think about Damon all the time. It’s not about you, or about the family; I’ll always need you in my life. But I have to move on, and I just can’t do it here.”
Rosanna clutches his hands and tears well up in her eyes. “What about that man you work with? Michael? I thought maybe—”
“No.” Cole frowns.
“What about Damon’s ashes? You said once that you never wanted to leave—”
“Rosanna,” Dad interrupts her. “Cole’s right. He’s doing something healthy for himself. Don’t try to stop him.”
Oh, God, Cole’s stomach hurts seeing his sister’s face, and he feels horrible because he thinks that he’s so damn lucky that his father is here after all. He should have known that he could count on his father to support him. He always did.
“Son,” Dad says. “Your portion of Damon’s ashes will be buried by the waterfall forever. Your life, though—it can’t wait.” He approaches Cole and puts his hands on Cole’s shoulders. “I’m proud of you.”
He hugs his dad and holds him tight. He’ll miss them. Rosanna gets in on the hug, and Cole kisses her hair, whispering, “I love you, Rosanna.”
He’ll miss them both so much.
That evening, aftervisiting his house and packing up a variety of clothes and pantry items, he drives toward his offices.
“Hey, boss,” Michael greets him with a smile. “Working on a Saturday? Got something big on your plate?”
Cole pauses in the doorway to Michael’s office. There are stacks of files on his desk, and he grins to see that Michael’s already worked through about half a dozen so far, placing them neatly in his out box to be filed.
“You could say that,” Cole says, putting his hand in his coat pocket to clutch the rock, the sharp edge digging in. “And you’re working on a Saturday? If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were flirting with me by showing me your hot work ethic.”
Oh, Cole realizes. This must be why people think he’s into Michael. Cole wonders how he never noticed that he flirts with Michael? He’s not interested, not even close, but something about Michael makes him feel safe.
“Things go okay today? You know, on your date with Emily?”
Michael smiles, and Cole knows that Emily didn’t make him wait. “Yeah, of course,” he says. “We saw the movie, had dinner, and…” He shrugs. “Well, after that she kicked me out. Apparently, her mother comes over every Saturday evening for dinner?”
“She does,” Cole confirms.
