Page 55 of Vespertine
“Okay then.”
Everyone ended up crowding around Nicky. when he lifted hiseyebrows in question, Jasper joined him. He crouched down beside Nicky, theirshoulders touching, while Nicky hugged his guitar. Lizzie took the picture withfive different cell phones and then came over for a picture with her own.
“That’s enough,” Jasper said when more cell phones appeared.“Get to your chores, everyone.”
“Yes, Father Jazz,” at least five of them said, and Jasperrolled his eyes to the ceiling.
“How long did it take you to teach them that?” he askedNicky.
“About three seconds.”
When Jasper looked down, Nicky was grinning. The kids hadall cleared out and the walls of the room closed in on them as Nicky began tohum.
“Why don’t you ever sing? On stage I mean. You write all thesongs, don’t you?”
Nicky made a face. “Don’t have the voice for it.”
“I think your voice is gorgeous.”
Nicky waved his hand around and then continued playingsoftly. “For a room this size, maybe. For an arena? Not so much. My vocals aren’tstrong enough.”
Jasper wanted to reach out and push a thick hunk of dark,wavy hair off Nicky’s forehead. “Well, you moved everyone in here. Deeply.”
Nicky lifted his head and stopped playing. “Did I move you?”
Jasper bit his lip and considered what to say. “You rememberhow I used to sit in church as a little kid and listen to the choir practiceGregorian chants?”
Nicky laughed under his breath. “God, you were such a dork.You’re right, I should’ve seen the priest thing coming from miles away.”
Jasper felt an indulgent, fond smile slide over his lips. “Doyou remember what you always said to me?”
The smile slipped slowly off Nicky’s face and somethingheartbreakingly fragile flickered in his eyes. “That you looked like you wereseeing God.”
Jasper felt too big for his skin. Like he was nearing thetop of a roller coaster, and any second now the apex would creep up on him andover he’d tumble. And yet, he couldn’t seem to stop saying exactly what was onhis mind. “Because I experienced it like that. Sitting in that church withthose strong voices singing in languages I couldn’t understand yet…it took mesomewhere higher. And you…” He faltered. “You’ve got to know you affect peoplelike that. Every kid in here was spellbound.”
Nicky tilted his head. His blue eyes seemed to see straightthrough Jasper. “You didn’t answer my question.”
Jasper crossed one arm over his midriff and gripped theother arm tight to his body. “Of course you moved me. That’s obvious.” Helaughed softly and averted his eyes. “To be honest, I haven’t been moved likethat in a long time.”
Nicky’s eyes glinted and his lips quirked into a smirk buthis eyes weren’t smiling along. “Well, I always had a certain effect—”
Jasper gritted his teeth. “Don’t turn this into a joke.”
Nicky’s chin jerked up. “I’m not joking. I hear what you’resaying. You like my singing, that’s great. Now if only I didn’t need to hatethe world and everything in it to be able to write decent songs, we’d begolden.”
Jasper saw the opportunity to shift the conversation andescape the helpless confessions he’d been making. Instead he slowly reached forthe hand that lay motionless on top of the guitar. His fingers shook slightly.
“I’m saying I love your singing. Me, Jazz, your friend. Notthe priest. I’m saying I think you have a talent beyond even your owncomprehension, and I’ve learned over the years that talented people alwaysjudge themselves more harshly than others. You’ll find your lyrics, Nicky. Youmight just have to look for them in a different place.”
Nicky kept his palm turned down onto the guitar, but hespread his fingers and Jasper’s slipped neatly in between them. The callusesfrom the steel strings of countless guitars felt good and right against his ownsoft hands. He could feel Nicky’s eyes on his face, but he didn’t look intothem, keeping his focus on their entwined fingers. He’d opened up and madehimself vulnerable in ways he’d forgotten were possible. He thought he shouldbe scared or ashamed of what he was doing, touching Nicky’s hand this way, butall he felt was a sense of peace.
“You want to go get some lunch?” Jasper tightened his handaround Nicky’s and then slowly made himself let go.
“Sure.” Nicky set the guitar aside and rose to his feet. Hegrinned and bumped Jasper’s shoulder on their way out of the rec room. “I movedyou.”
“Don’t let it go to your head.”
“I think there was a tear. You giant softy.”
