Page 131 of Vespertine
Jasper had no idea what time it was. A huge moon hunglow over the blackness of the bay, its weak light turning the world into ashadow of itself. It must’ve been the cold that had pulled him from his fuguestate, because he felt stiff and shivery as he stretched his limbs and sat up.
He listened to the water lap at the beach and let it calm himas he closed his eyes and conjured up Nicky’s face—his blue eyes, the art andscars on his body. How had it happened? Jasper knew next to nothing aboutdrugs. Had it been a syringe? Had Nicky thought of him before he’d plunged itin his vein?
Jasper shook the thought loose and remembered Nicky singing “Withor Without You” with Lizzie at Blue Oasis. His vocals might not have held up inan arena, but he’d enthralled everyone in the room that day. He’d spun a web ofmagic and caught them all in it, with nothing but the power of his voice andthe touch of his hand on the guitar. Jasper could almost hear the hollow tap ofthe music, like water hitting…
His eyes snapped open.
Like water hitting the side of a boat. He froze, convinced itwas a hallucination at first, but the sound was unmistakable.
Nicky didn’t rise from the lake like a reincarnated KingArthur from the mists of Avalon, but as far as Jasper was concerned, he may aswell have.
Under the luminance of the full moon, a small boat nearedthe island. At first he thought it was Adrian coming to get him, but Jasperwould’ve known the shape of his man anywhere, even in the darkest hour of thenight. He rose to his feet, not caring that the blanket slipped off hisshoulders and that he should be cold, and slowly walked toward the water.
For a moment it was as if time stood still. The slappingsound of the oars slowed, the wind stopped rustling the leaves, and even themoon seemed to brighten and quiet the tides. Then all at once, Nicky wasscrambling out of the boat and Jasper ran into the water, and they were in eachother’s arms.
“Am I dreaming?” Jasper gasped, kneading at Nicky’s back,bunching up his clothes until he could feel the heat of his skin. He trembled.If this was a dream it’d be the cruelest he’d ever had. “Nicky?”
Nicky cupped his face and drew it down so they were eye toeye. “I’m here. The news was wrong; it wasn’t me who died. It was…it was Mick.Jesus Christ, Jasper, you’re—you’re stark naked. Oh.” He gave a low moan whenJasper pressed closer and buried his nose into Nicky’s hair and inhaled.
He smelled like he hadn’t slept in a long time, and it wasso good, Jasper’s knees buckled. “Nicky,” Jasper said, and his voice broke. “Ithought—I thought…”
“I know, I’m so sorry. Fuck, Jasper, I can’t hold you up andthis water is really fucking cold at night. Come on.”
Jasper pulled back a little and looked at Nicky, at his beautifulface and his trembling mouth, and leaned down and kissed him, hard. Nicky madeanumphnoise, but then yielded to the pressure and let Jasper in. A rush of heatburst inside him, igniting all over, every part of him that had slowly beenshutting down coming back to life. He dragged Nicky out of the water, tearingat his clothes as he went, until they fell down on the blanket with Nicky’sjeans halfway down his thighs.
“Jazz,” he gasped. “We should probably—oh okay, talking canwait.Gnnn.”
Jasper squeezed Nicky’s cock too hard, but the way he bowedoff the blanket must’ve meant he didn’t mind all that much. Jasper worked himout of his clothes the rest of the way, then sat back on his heels and stareddown at Nicky.
“Jazz, what—”
“On your hands and knees,” Jasper whispered.
“Oh God,” Nicky said in a trembly voice and went limp on theblanket. Jasper reached out but before he could flip Nicky over, Nicky scrambledup and presented himself. Jasper was mindless with adrenaline and lingeringgrief, anger, and heartbreak, but here Nicky was, open and exposed to Jasperand the night.
He bent down behind Nicky and draped himself over his backso he could whisper in Nicky’s ear, “I’m going to fuck you now.”
“Oh fuck, yes.” Nicky arched his back like a slinking cat.Jasper dug around in the strongbox until his hand closed on the old, unopenedtub of Vaseline. He uncapped it, found it slick enough still, and coated his fingers.
Nicky’s hole tightened when Jasper pressed his fingers toit, so he eased it with his thumb, circling and pressing, circling andpressing, until Nicky made a rough noise and yielded. Jasper hooked his thumbinto Nicky’s ass and drew down. The muscle contracted around him, quivered, andtook him deeper. Jasper pulled out, returned with two fingers, and steadilyopened Nicky up. Part of him remembered that he hadn’t done this in a longtime, but it was buried deep. What ruled him was a burning need to be as closeto Nicky as possible, and he needed it right now. Jasper pulled his fingersout, spread Vaseline on his cock, and lined himself up.
“No,” Nicky suddenly groaned, and Jasper startled. “No, you’renot doing me like this.”
He sat up and gave Jasper a little shove as he spun around.He held onto Jasper’s face and stared into his eyes until Jasper felt himselffalling, chest aching and bottom lip quivering.
“I’m here,” Nicky whispered. “I’m here and you’re going tolook at me when you fuck me.” Jasper nodded and Nicky kissed the tear offJasper’s cheek.
In the deep of the night with the moon as his witness,Jasper laid Nicky down on the blanket and didn’t look away as he buried hiscock inside him.
“Ah, Nicky.” Jasper shook all over. “You feel so good.”
“Fuck.” Nicky arched against him, wrapped his legs tightaround Jasper’s waist, and took Jasper deeper into the silky heat of him. Thiswas going to be over way too fast.
Jasper drew out again and Nicky made a bereft noise. “What—”
“Shh.” He rubbed the head of his cock over Nicky’s hole,pushed in a little and pulled out again, and did it again and again until hecame down a little from the crest. Nicky gripped his own thighs so hard he wasleaving white finger-shaped indentations. He had his head thrown back and wasbiting his lip.
“How did I fucking manage to forget,” he groaned, “what afucking tease you are.”
