Page 89 of Vespertine
Nicky let go of his hand. “I did. It was like…I had thisburst of energy when I hit the cold water and then my strength disappeared. Myarms and legs went so heavy I couldn’t move them anymore.”
“Your strength’ll come back to you. If you want you canalways start running with me.”
Nicky snorted and twisted on his side, head resting in hispalm. He blocked the sun when Jasper looked up at him. It felt intimate. Likethere was no one else in the world. The island had always been that way forthem. Here they’d never had to hide anything from anyone. They’d bared theirhearts and their souls, and eventually their bodies to each other.
“I doubt I can make it a mile right now,” Nicky said.
“That’s okay. We’ll work our way up to it. Although I haveto say”—Jasper stretched his legs and groaned as his whole body quivered—”I’mnot used to swimming anymore either. Everything’s going to be pretty soretomorrow. I’ll go get the boat in a while. Just let me rest for a few minutes.”
“We may as well stick around the island and explore. That’swhat we’re here for, right?”
“Sure.” Jasper smiled up at Nicky. The waves lapped lazilyat the shoreline and the hum of the town was almost inaudible from here.Cicadas sang their chorus to the heat of the day. It felt peaceful and cozy andJasper didn’t look away when Nicky kept holding his gaze.
“Your belly’s going red,” Nicky whispered. He stared into Jasper’seyes and smirked a little. He still had such an expressive mouth. As a boy, ithad given Jasper so many wet dreams. And it was making him tingle now. “And Ifucking knew you’d still be wearing tighty-whities.”
Jasper ran his hand over his navel, through the faint hairstrailing down. He had a soft, flat stomach—nothing like Nicky’s sharply ridgedabs cradled by two prominent hipbones. Although his underwear was drying it wasstill pretty see-through and he felt his cheeks stain red. The dark thatch ofhair was really noticeable, as was the slightly flushed head and outline of hiscock. He had to fight the urge to cup his genitals and hide them from view.
“My belly doesn’t see much sun these days.” A flash-hotfeeling began to fill his stomach and he tried to breathe past it. “You’regetting a bit of color again too. You were pale that first day I saw you by thepool. You look so much better now.”
Jasper reached out and pushed Nicky’s drying curls away fromhis face. Every time Nicky shifted a little, Jasper got a faceful of sunshineand had to readjust his eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone morebeautiful than you,” Jasper whispered.
Nicky grew very still. The sun burned over his head, turningthe wayward curls into dark gold. The rock under Jasper’s shoulders was hot,his skin dry, and deep inside his chest a warm comfort bloomed, a feeling ofsuch safety and pure perfection it made the hairs on his arms stand on end. Howcould anyone not believe in God when moments like these existed? The brightlight made his eyes moist.Love, he thought.Still. Always. He blinked. “You could do with a haircutthough.”
“I could do with a lot of things.” Nicky’s face hid inshadows and his eyes were dark pools of unspoken thoughts. Jasper knew whatthey were. He felt them deep in his veins. He should back off, jump in themuch-needed cold water, swim away to the boat and bring them to the mainlandand sanity. But his body didn’t seem to want to move and the voice inside himremained silent.
Strike me down, O Lord, but there’s nowhere I’d rather be.
“Jazz?” Nicky’s eyes searched his face.
“Yeah.” Jasper tugged gently on Nicky’s hair, lifted hisshoulders off the rock, and placed a soft kiss on Nicky’s lips, like abenediction.
Nicky jerked back and sat up straight. “What the hell, Jazz?This is a bad idea. I’m not going to be on the other end of your guilt triptomorrow when you regret this.”
His heart pounding, Jasper sat up too. “I know. You’reright, I don’t know what came over me. I feel like…I wouldn’t regret much,right at this moment.”
The heat of the rock had bled into Nicky’s hands and theyfelt hot against Jasper’s shoulders when Nicky gripped them. “It’s not ‘rightthis minute’ I’m worried about, but I’ll tell you something. You do that againand I won’t be letting go of you until at least one of us comes.” Nickyscrambled to his feet and jumped off the rock, muttering, “Jesus.”
Jasper followed suit. He didn’t know what he’d been thinkingbut it had felt…right. Was he testing himself?
The thought sobered him. Doing that to Nicky was beyond unfair.Nicky was kicking an addiction. The last thing he needed was morecomplications.Get a hold of yourself. He took a deepbreath and followed Nicky toward the fort.
The rough grass-covered sand scratched the bottom of hisfeet uncomfortably—he’d gone soft over the years, in more ways than one—but theshade the trees offered was welcome after lying in the sun. It took a momentfor his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but when they did, he laughed softly.
His brain had held onto the snapshot his mind’s eye hadtaken of this place the first time he’d seen it. Absolutely delighted withtheir very own palace, Nicky and Jasper had thought themselves kings of theworld. In reality the fort was nothing but a wooden square with a roof on it, adoor, and a few windows.But I can still feel the magic.Like their happiness had permeated the sand and the rough grass and the trees,like their love and laughter had been life’s blood, soaked up into the roots ofthe island so that coming back here would be a step back in time. Lying in waitfor them, no matter when they came.
Nicky wasn’t so quiet. He whooped and spread his arms wide,causing the skin and muscles on his back to ripple. It looked like the sleepingfox and badger stretched in slumber and might wake any minute. “I can’t believeit’s still in such a good shape!” He seemed determined to act like they hadn’tjust kissed, and Jasper followed suit.
“Well, our dads did work on this for ages,” Jasper said,slowly walking up to him. “They had plans and everything, remember?”
“Oh yeah. I especially remember the big rusty nail your dadstood on. He had to go to the ER and everything. There was blood everyw—”
“Yes, thank you Nicky, I haven’t forgotten.”
Nicky looked over his shoulder and gave him a wicked grin.His eyes danced with amusement and light.Lord, he’s sobeautiful.
“The strongbox should still be there. Let’s look.”
The door hung a little off its hinges and seemed a lotsmaller than it used to, another sign that they’d changed and grown up.We’re not who we used to be. Jasper’s chest constricted alittle.
