Page 91 of Vespertine
“Find anything else interesting?”
“The comic books. A bunch of matches, a knife, oldcigarettes.” Jasper opened his mouth but Nicky beat him to it. “Don’t worry, I’llbe able to resist those. I never did like smoking all that much. A hammer, ascrewdriver, some screws, and a small brush. Those peppermints you used toconsume like your life depended on it, but I wouldn’t try to eat them now. Oh,and a bunch of gay porn.”
“Oh man.” Jasper’s face flashed hot. He’d forgotten allabout that.
“It’s okay,” Nicky said, his mouth quirking up in anot-quite smile. “I can rescue you from the porn the way you rescued me fromthe weed.” He gave Jasper a little wave with the rolled up magazines. “Unlessyou want to refresh your memory.”
“N—”No need, he almost said. “Nothanks.”
Nicky laughed under his breath and tossed the magazines backin the box.
“What’s that?” Jasper asked, pointing to a notebook withcurling edges. “I don’t remember that.”
“It’s nothing.” Nicky didn’t look up. He rubbed at his toplip with the back of his hand and kept his eyes on the strongbox. Jasper couldmake out an upper thigh and part of a well-muscled buttock on one of themagazines. He focused on the notebook again.
“Can I take a look?”
Nicky jumped to his feet and rubbed his palms on his thighs,seemed to realize he wasn’t wearing pants to soak up the sweat, and crossed hisarms instead. Jasper’s eyes narrowed, but before he could chase his thoughts,Nicky said, “It’s music. All right? Stuff I wrote that spring. Before we weregrounded. I don’t…want anyone to see it.”
“Oh. Sure. Do you think…is it bad?”
Nicky looked at him and glanced away again. “No, actually.It’s not bad at all.”
“Okay.” Jasper didn’t understand where the suddenawkwardness had come from. He gestured toward the door. “Do you want to go? Imean, I could go get the boat.”
Nicky’s shoulders softened and he gave Jasper a half-smile. “Iwant to stay longer. I like it here. It’s very…peaceful. Do you mind?”
“Not at all. We can put one of the blankets on the beach, ifyou like.”
“Yeah. That sounds good.”
Jasper turned toward the door and grabbed one of theblankets off the tree branch. Nicky didn’t immediately follow and Jasper lefthim to it. He walked far enough down the beach where the sand was soft and notlittered with sticks and stones, but close enough to the tree line so they hadat least some dappled protection from the relentless sunshine.
By the time he spread the blanket out and lowered himselfdown, Nicky had joined him, the old notebook in one hand and a small cigar boxin the other.
“I found these,” he said, and held the box out to Jasper.
“No way.” Jasper took the box, and Nicky lay on the blanket,belly down. Jasper joined him, careful to keep some distance between theirskin.
The box smelled of old tobacco and dried wood and thephotographs inside had yellowed a little around the edges. The one on top wasof him and Nicky when they were five years old, riding bikes with trainingwheels down the Blumfeld driveway. He laughed.
“Why on earth is this in here?”
Nicky looked up, and his eyes crinkled at the corners as hesquinted at Jasper. “My mom’s sentimental,” he said, and went back to what hewas doing. Jasper glanced over and realized Nicky was reading through thelyrics in the notebook. It was scribbled full to the brim. Page after page ofunsung songs. About them, about their love, their beginning, and maybe theirend. His heart contracted with a deep, yearning ache. He tore his eyes away andwent back to the box.
In the next photograph they were older, hanging off eachother in their disheveled school uniforms—shirts untucked and ties crooked—onthe football field behind the school. Jasper remembered that moment. Theirschool team had won the game, and while they didn’t particularly care aboutsports, it’d been a great day.
There were a few more of them in uniform, one with the wholejunior year class where they looked well-polished, hair neatly combed andshirts still nicely ironed. He was standing beside Nicky, who, he was prettysure, was hiding contraband candy in his pockets like he always did back then.Jasper bit his lip to hide the smile when he remembered Nicky’s kisses used totaste like Twizzlers.
The smile broke when he saw the next photograph. It wasgrainy because the sun had been setting. Most of the day’s light had left, butit had been hot and bright, and they’d been goofing around with a disposablecamera on the beach. After taking stupid pictures all day long, they’d wrestledover the last one. Nicky had ended up accidentally taking a picture of theirfeet tangled in the warm sand. It was dumb, but Jasper had wanted to keep it.Looking at it had always made him feel like he had that evening. Happy. Free.In love. He flipped the photograph over to put it on the pile by his side.
Our Blue Oasis, it read on theback, written in Nicky’s loopy handwriting,Fox & Badger.Jasper blinked and swallowed hard. He traced the words with his fingertips.Maybe he hadn’t been the only one who liked to think back to that evening andfeel the belly-deep comfort of it.
When he lifted the last photograph, he found an unopenedlittle tub of Vaseline at the bottom of the box. Jasper laughed and his voicesounded a little hoarse. It wasn’t until he looked up at Nicky and realized theshadows had lengthened that a lot of time had passed.
And Nicky was asleep.
His dark lashes fanned over the tired circles as his eyesflickered in dreams. The bruised skin was less pronounced than it had beenthough, and Jasper felt relief as he let his eyes roam.
