Page 101 of Goldrage
“I’m… I’m not pregnant,” I say. “I was never pregnant. It was just a way to get into the house.”
Julian becomes very still, so still he’s not even breathing. His brow dips, crushing down on his betrayed gaze, and he just stares at me.
I stopped loving Julian many weeks ago, but the shattered look in those blue eyes completely breaks my heart.
“She kept the secret to saveyou, brother,” Adrian says quietly, his eyes never leaving Julian’s face. “Everything we did, every risk we took, was to save you from Lady Harrow.”
Julian remains unmoving with his hand still aroundRoby’s throat and a gun still pointed at the boy’s temple. His gaze floats up to a lion’s head on the wall.
What he’s thinking, I have no idea.
Please, God, save Roby.
Please let Adrian’s love reach through Julian’s madness before it’s too late.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
JULIAN
The lion stares down at me with eyes that never blink. Dead glass orbs set in a preserved snarl, frozen mid-roar for eternity. Lucian’s favorite trophy, he used to say. The apex predator. The king of beasts mounted above his desk like a god surveying his domain.
I used to think it was about power. Now I see it differently.
It’s about the kill.
My grip tightens around the gun. Below me, Roby whimpers. But it’s only white noise against the roar in my skull.
Predators and prey. That’s all this life has ever been.
Lucian taught me that lesson with his fists. Beat it into my bones. You’re either the hunter or the hunted. The lion or the gazelle. There’s no middle ground.
My mother understood it too. She learned to hunt in her own way. Poison instead of bullets. Manipulationinstead of force. She became a secret assassin to avoid getting eaten.
And me? I never knew what I was.
I think I’ve always been the prey; that’s why I could never lead like Adrian.
The lion’s mouth hangs open, teeth bared. I can almost hear its roar, feel the hot breath of death on my neck. But it’s not the lion I see anymore. The features morph until Lucian’s face stares back. Those same dead eyes that watched me bleed. That same cruel mouth that told me I was nothing.
Family was supposed to be my tether. The only truth I could rely on. My brother—the one person who saw me for more than just my failures. My mother—damaged but mine. Even Aurelia—she was supposed to be family. My light in all this inky dark.
I widen my stance and try to ground myself in this moment where everyone is staring at me, holding their breaths, wondering what Julian might do next.
What mess will he make this time?
How might he failagain?
Makes sense; he was never a Harrow.
My pretend father beat me for never living up to his expectations, and my real father stood by and watched it happen.
Who betrayed me more—the man who beat me or the man who let it happen?
The lion’s eyes bore into mine. Lucian’s eyes. Judging. Always judging.
You were never meant to be loved.
My mother knew. She played me like a violin, usingmy desperate need for connection against me. Fed me lies about Aurelia to twist the knife deeper. And I let her. God, I let her because I needed to believe someone gave a damn about me.
