Page 113 of Goldrage
“My lips are sealed.” She squeezes my hand gently. “I’ll be back within the hour.”
I return to my bedroom to dry my hair and apply makeup, but the wait feels eternal. I don’t even want to dare to hope, so I try to ignore my thoughts and just focus on getting ready for the day.
Finally, a soft knock breaks through my nervousness. Maria slips inside with a small brown bag. “Three different brands,” she says quietly.
My hands tremble as I take the bag. “Thank you.”
“I hope you get the result you’re hoping for, Miss Aurelia.”
She leaves but her words follow me back into the bathroom. What am I hoping for?
I follow the instructions. Cap on. Wait three minutes. Three minutes to potentially change everything.
I set my phone timer and close my eyes, but that only makes the pounding of my heart louder. In my mind, I see Adrian, only Adrian. Do I dare to hope that we’d be blessed with a family so soon, when we’ve only begun to break through the haze and dream of what comes next in our lives?
The timer beeps.
My eyes open.
Two lines.
The test clatters into the sink as my knees give out. I’m on the bathroom floor, tears streaming, chest heaving with sobs that feel pulled from the very center of my bones.
Pregnant.
It’s not grief delaying my body’s rhythms. Not stress shutting down systems. Life. Actual life growing inside me.
I grab the second test with shaking fingers. Then the third.
Positive.
Positive.
Positive.
My hand drifts to my still flat stomach. “Hi,” I whisper to the life that’s just starting to grow. “I’m your mom.”
Hope blossoms inside me and I don’t try to stop it. After everything, Adrian and I get the most precious gift.
I dress in soft jeans and a green blouse. My fingers linger on my abdomen, still amazed by the secret it holds.
The house feels different as I walk through it, trying to find Adrian. I spot Lorenzo still in the kitchen and he says he thinks Adrian is in the library.
I find Adrian folded into the leather chair by the window with a book I doubt he’s actually reading. He does this sometimes, holds books like props while his mind wanders darker paths.
“Hey.” He looks up as I enter, and his face transforms into a smile.
“You look beautiful,” he says.
The new secret I carry is too big to wait to tell him. I could surprise him over dinner or hand him a box with the pregnancy test inside, but I simply need to get it out. “Adrian.” His name feels different in my mouth now. Father of my child. “I need to tell you something.”
The book closes. He’s on his feet in one fluid motion, crossing to me while looking worried. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” My voice cracks. “Everything’s… Adrian, I’m pregnant.”
His eyes widen. “Pregnant.” He says it like he’s tasting the word. “You’re sure?”
“Three tests sure. I just found out. In the bathroom upstairs. Maria had to… it doesn’t matter. Adrian, we’re having a baby. You’re going to be a father.”
