Page 69 of You Can Make Me
God, I was embarrassed to tell that story in front of Denny.
“They, um, were really something. I was mesmerized by them—likely a byproduct of being a newly realized baby gay who’d met his first totally out-and-proud gays.” I left out the part about getting drunk at an after-party and practically throwing myself at them.
“What were they like?” Dane asked.
“They were otherworldly in their talent, their bodies did things humans shouldn’t be able to do. I tried to follow them when they left, just to get a peek, but I never caught a glimpse of where they came from. Only in my dreams do I see the carnival, and it looks exactly how Granddad described it. I’ve been dreaming about it a lot over the past few months?—”
Dane stood suddenly. “What do you mean? What do you dream about it?”
I glanced around at the men, startled by Dane’s intensity.
“I…I’ve dreamt about it since I was a kid, what it looked like, and I’d always be filled with anticipation, and then left bereft when I woke up. Then Granddad would talk about it, and definitely after I met the people at Circus Circus, I dreamt aboutit more vividly. And now, I’ve been dreaming about it again since the attack. First it was just flashes of the tents from afar, but now they’re more vibrant and radiant. I think it’s because you mentioned it when I interviewed you, it was fresh in my mind. It seemed to me at the time like a strange coincidence that you worked at a carnival. The whole thing had my Lois Lane senses tingling.”
Walter cursed, Dane gasped, and Denny tightened his hold on me.
“That’s not good. You didn’t tell me about all that.”
I laughed at Denny’s statement. “It’s not bad. It’s acarnival. But, like, in my dreams, I’m never able to go inside. Sometimes I’m talking to my granddad at the gate, and other times it moves away from me, and sometimes it…” I shuddered. “It turns into a nightmare. I’m being dragged again, but not by Holland. It’s someone else.”
Dane’s eyes flared, and he moved closer to Walter.
“They’re just dreams. I’ve always been a lucid dreamer. My imagination goes wild when I sleep, I suppose.”
“No, Cooper. They’re not just dreams.” Dane glanced at Walter, and something unspoken was shared between them.
“What’s wrong?”
“The dreams you’ve been having since you got hurt? There’s a good chance it’s Evans. He would have seen you through Holland’s eyes, would have watched him…hurt you.”
“But how?”
“When I spoke to him, before the tunnel collapsed on us at his hideout, he described that same experience—that he saw the carnival but every time he tried to walk towards it, it kept moving away. Cooper, he’s formed a link. Withyou. Or he’s trying to.”
“But no,” I said, confused. “No, it’s only Granddad there. He… Wait. Once, he looked past me in my dream and said, ‘You don’t belong here.’Oh God.”
Denny pulled me into his body and tried to soothe me as my chest tightened and I couldn’t get a full breath.
“Baby, just breathe. You’re safe.”
I put a hand to my head as pain sliced through. I hadn’t had a significant headache for a couple of weeks, but this one was vicious.
“Here, trust me, baby. Lay back and close your eyes. I’ve got you.”
I frowned at Denny, but I let him support me as I floated in the water. He’d done this a number of times at the cabin. The water acted like a sensory deprivation tool. The silence made everything stop. Soon the pain was gone, and my breathing slowed to normal.
Water lapped at my cheeks and lights danced beyond my eyelids, but it was peaceful. All I could hear was my own breathing, and I concentrated on slowing it down. Weightless except for Denny’s palms against my back, I let my body go lax and tried to get out of my head.
“I’m sorry the carnival didn’t come for you, Cooper, but you had a savior. And you have a purpose.”
“You’ll want to know, but at what cost? You seek answers meant for others. Weigh your options, son. Take care where you trespass. Watch where you tread. Your curiosity could be the death of innocent souls.”
He’d looked beyond me and frowned.
“You don’t belong here.”
The pain subsided as more frustrated tears spilled down my cheeks. Denny cradled my face.
“Tell me what you’re thinking?”
