Page 96 of Shattered Secrets
I tease him a bit, swirling around him, poking him. Taking the opportunity to remove all the evil air that has blown in the last few days. I want to feel like a normal couple, just hanging out and having fun. Not two people who have gone through unspeakable things. Today we are just Ethan and Ayala. Two ordinary people.
He makes an angry face, but I can see he is amused by me. I haven’t had this much fun since I was a girl. It’s fun to skate with the chilly wind on my face.
He moves forward, and I decide it’s time to help him. I slide next to him and give him a hand. We glide, hand in hand, foot by foot. He sways and loses his balance, causing me to wobble and struggle to steady both of us. So I decide to stand in front of him, take both of his hands, and skate backward.
“Tell me if I’m going to bump into someone,” I warn him, hoping he notices because his gaze is fixed on me, and he doesn’t seem to be aware of his surroundings.
“Ethan!” I have to repeat his name twice before he shakes it off and answers me.
“I need you to look ahead, or we’ll both fall.” He looks up and directs me while I hold his hands, keeping him steady, and we slide together. This is a pleasant feeling, his hands in mine. I can watch him without feeling like I’m staring. I can check out his beautiful features. His strong jaw, the full lips, his golden eyes...
The idea of Ethan and me getting into bed and not coming out doesn’t sound so bad to me right now.
After he gains some confidence, I let go of him so he can try on his own to stay upright. It just takes a minute before he’s as excited as a little boy who’s just discovered there’s no monster under the bed. He succeeds, and we glide side by side, still close to the railing. Ethan doesn’t dare to get far yet.
I haven’t skated in years, but I was good as a girl. Let’s see what I remember.
I move away from him, gain some speed, and glide around, being careful not to collide with the dozens of other skaters. A little swing, and I spin on the ice. Yay! I did it!
I turn to glide back and try a tiny jump. My landing is bad, and I only keep my balance at the last second. Well, I’m too rusty for jumps. I turn back to see where Ethan is and find him standing rooted to the same spot and looking at me in amazement.
With a broad smile, I slide toward him and break in front of him. “What?”
“How do you know how to do that? You’re a professional.”
“I used to skate a lot as a girl, but I’m far from professional. I raise my head to kiss him, and he grasps my hips and pulls me closer.
We skate some more, side by side, circling the rink. Two squealing children pass us with great speed. Ethan tries to stop but gets knocked down.
Shit.
“Are you okay?” I hurry to bend down to the ice. He smiles at me and doesn’t seem hurt. Laughing, I take my phone out of my pocket and take a picture of him.
“Hey!” he protests. “I’m laid out here on the ice, and you’re taking a picture? Where’s the help? Where’s the loving treatment?”
“Okay.” I reach out to him to help him up. He takes my hand and pulls.
I fall on his chest, and now we’re both lying on the ice, laughing.
I want to stay like this, in our own little private world, where we’re both happy and not thinking about our troubles.
“Is everything all right, ma’am? Mister? Need help?” I look up to see a rink employee standing above us.
Ethan shakes his head. “It’s all right. We’re getting up.” I stand, pulling Ethan with me, and he plops down again, then tries to get up carefully. The employee helps Ethan to his feet.
As soon as the guy pulls away, Ethan tells me, “I think I broke my ass,” and a giggle escapes me. “But it’s worth it to hear you laugh like that today,” he adds. We slide together to the exit. “Thank you for taking me here, for helping me forget a little.”
It’s funny to me how this day has flipped since this morning. I had planned to stay on Olive’s couch and bawl my eyes out. Then I raced after him in a panic to keep him from going to jail, and now we’re both laughing and embracing after a day out.
There’s something in what I feel with him, this safety and security. The comfort. It’s as if I am finally home. Something I didn’t have even when Iwashome.
It doesn’t matter which apartment we are in. I feel at home when I’m with him.
He takes off his coat and rubs his tailbone.
“Hurts?”
“A little. I told you I’d break something.” He smiles. “And now you have to heal me. And I know exactly how.”
