Page 34 of The Reckoning
Aries’s jaw clenches, a muscle ticking in his cheek. “Is that what you think I was doing? Playing games? None of this has ever been a game. I cannot even put into words how naive you sound right now. I’m playing games, but Arson literally used you in his own twisted game of revenge to hurt me.”
“This isn’t about Arson. This is about us. What else should I call it?” I challenge. “One minute, you’re looking at me like you want to devour me, and the next, you’re pushing me away, telling me we can’t, we shouldn’t, it’s too complicated. For years, Aries. Years of mixed signals and almost moments and nothing ever happening. I can’t even describe how much your rejection hurt me.”
“I didn’t want to reject you. I wanted you. But I also wanted to do the right thing,” he argues, but there’s less conviction in his voice now. “You’re my stepsister. We grew up together. Our parents?—”
“Our parents are monsters.” I cut him off. “We both know that, and I think we knew that even back then. It’s time to stop hiding behind family dynamics and propriety. That’s not why you kept pushing me away, and we both know it.”
We glare at each other, both breathing hard, neither willing to back down.
“Fine,” Aries finally says, the word forced through gritted teeth. “You want me to say it?”
“I want you to say whatever you want to say.”
“Then the truth is, I want you. I’ve always wanted you. Like the air I breathe, like the night sky needs the stars, like a fucking flower needs the sun to grow. I’ve longed to make you mine, and I hated myself every time I gave in to the selfish want and need to claim you for fear that my father would use you against me if he discovered how much you meant to me.”
The confession hangs in the air between us, raw and imperfect and entirely inadequate. But it’s more than he’s ever given me before.
“Is that it?” I ask, unable to keep the disappointment from my voice.
He knows what I’m asking for. I can see it in his eyes—the struggle, the fear, the words he can’t bring himself to say.
“No, there is more, but I can’t give you all of it right now,” he says quietly, and for a moment, the anger falls away, revealing a warm vulnerability he never allows anyone to see. “I know what you want from me, but I can’t… I’m not…”
“It’s okay. It’s fine if you can’t tell me everything right now.” I soften my voice. “But if you want this, want me, you need to accept that I won’t let you push me away anymore. Not out of this twisted desire to protect me, or any other stupid excuse you can fathom. I know I said it yesterday, but I really need you to understand that I can’t be in the middle of your hate for each other. I won’t survive it. I care about both of you too much to allow either of you to use me against the other.”
Aries’s gaze softens, and I see a flickering of guilt. “We won’t. We agreed to try to let shit go. Neither of us wants to lose you.”
I nod and take a deep breath. Last night, I thought about what a future between the three of us would look like and how there would be no room for jealousy. It made me realize that theonly way to help ease that would be to ensure they both knew what the other was doing or not doing with me. “I understand that, and I was thinking about it last night, and I decided the only way to really help ease the jealousy between the two of you is to ensure that both of you know if I’m sleeping with the other one, and the only way to do that is to make you aware or have you be present during the act.”
The shock on Aries’s face would be comical if the situation weren’t so intense. He looks like I’ve slapped him.
“You can’t be serious,” he says.
“Dead serious,” I confirm. “Those are my terms, including trying to make amends with each other. Take them or leave them.”
Aries runs a hand through his hair, a gesture of frustration I’ve seen a thousand times. “So what, we’re supposed to share you? Take turns? Watch while the other—” He cuts himself off, apparently unable to even finish the thought.
I swallow and then clarify, “All I’m asking is that you or him be in the same room. To acknowledge that I care about both of you in different ways. I’m so tired of being the object you use to hurt each other. I’m more than that, Aries.”
“I know this, but it’s just insane,” Aries mutters, though I can see him considering it. Weighing his desire for me against his hatred for his brother, against the idea of sharing, of fucking me in front of him.
“Those are my conditions,” I say firmly. “Like I said, I won’t be the reason you two destroy each other.”
There’s a tense moment, and then Aries scoops me up into his arms again and kisses me so hard our teeth scrape together. When I blink up for air, he holds me tight against his chest. “I’ll do it. I agree to your terms. If that’s the only way I can have you, then so be it. I’ve wanted you for years, Lilian.FUCKINGyears.You’re a burn in my blood I can’t shake, no matter how hard I try to extinguish it. I won’t give you up.”
I wrap my arms around his neck, a little pleased with the entire declaration. “From what I heard, you tried a lot…with a lot of different girls.”
His cheeks pinken, and it’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
“I’m not saying this is going to be easy. I’m asking you to try.”
Aries juggles me to hold me tight in one arm and goes to the door to throw it open. “Come in, asshole. I know you were standing there listening the whole time.”
Aries and Arson exchange a long look, some silent communication passing between them that I can’t interpret. For all their hatred, there’s a connection there—a twin bond that neither captivity nor revenge has fully severed.
“Whatever you want, Lilian,” Arson finally says.
I search his face, looking for any sign that he’s agreeing just to appease me, that he’ll go back on his word the moment I let up. Yet despite the reluctance in his tone, there’s a resignation in his eyes that tells me he’s accepted the terms, however unhappily.
