Page 103 of Follow the Rhythm
He hummed in my hair. “Define ‘okay.’”
“Good point,” I said.
“I’m alright. But when Johnny said we were going to dissolve the band officially, it scared me. I knew things were heading that way, but Velvet Howl is - was - my life. I have no idea what happens next.”
“We’ll figure it out together,” I promised. And I meant it.
Chapter 31 - Ellis
Icouldn’t relax after seeing Jess and Kieran. We got back to the flat, and I didn’t stop pacing for hours.
“You said she wasjealous?” I asked Charlie for at least the tenth time.
“Yeah, it seemed like it.” He was sitting on the couch, his elbows on his knees, watching me make laps across the living room with the long-suffering patience of a monk.
“Jealous of who, though?”
He laughed. “That’s a great question. Why don’t you sit down?”
I shook my head as if his suggestion were an annoying fly. “I couldn’t possibly sit, darling. There’s too much to worry about.”
What I really wanted was a drink to smooth the ragged edges of my anxiety, soften them into something more manageable. But then I looked at Charlie, and I didn’t want to let him down. Maybe one day I wouldn’t want to let myself down, but I’d settle for making him proud for now.
Charlie stood and grabbed my shoulders, gently herding me to the couch. “Sit,” he said, planting me firmly on the couch. He sat on the ground in front of me, his back against my shins, so I couldn’t escape.
I sighed and ran my fingers through the thick waves of his dark blonde hair. “Why do I have to sit?”
“Because you need to sleep at some point tonight, and I don’t think pacing around is going to help.” He leaned into my touch with his trademark enthusiasm and my heart contracted. He really was so lovely.
Playing with his hair was strangely soothing. I let the strands fall through my hands, my eyes unfocused.
“You know it’s going to be okay, right?” Charlie asked.
I scoffed. “And how do you know that?”
“Because you have friends that will be there for you,” he said simply. “Kieran, Jess, me.”
“Is that whatweare? Friends?” I asked a bit archly.
He huffed a laugh. “Well, I think we’ve progressed past that stage of our relationship.”
“And you truly think she was jealous?” The afternoon had been like emotional whiplash, but Jess’s reaction had given me a glimmer of hope.
“Oh, super jealous. I told you not to give up.” He leaned his head back to smile at me. “Come on, you’re going to lie down even if I have to strap you to the bed.”
I smiled. “Don’t make empty promises, darling.”
The next day was interminable. My nerves weren’t any better after a surprisingly decent night’s sleep. Something about sleeping next to Charlie put me out like a light.
I distracted myself by messing about with my guitar, playing with chords, and plucking out melodies. Charlie was on his laptop, working on finding his next tour contract even though I’d told him I was perfectly happy to be his sugar daddy, and I watched him absentmindedly.
“First Day of My Life” by Bright Eyes popped into my head. I’d learned it in high school, with the idea that I’d play it for Jess someday.
As I played and sang under my breath, Charlie tapped the beat with his fingertips.
The song morphed into something else, a new melody that matched the ease I felt with Charlie, the hope I now had for the future. For the first time in a year, I hit that flow state, the one where the music seemed to come from somewhere else rather than myself. The song was gentle, softer and smaller than anything I’d written with Michael. Maybe that was okay.
The words would come later, but I scrambled to get my phone and record the melody while it was still fresh.
