Page 82 of Follow the Rhythm
“Why? Because I’m making polite conversation?” I retorted.
Maggie smiled, like this was an inside joke between us. “I guess, yeah.”
“Well… you seem happy,” I said, almost like an accusation.
Her smile grew wider and turned inward. She looked at the small crowd, and I followed her gaze. Almost as one, her pack members glanced over to smile back, like she’d called out to them.
“Is that the bond?” I asked, giving into my curiosity.
She focused back on me. “What? Oh yeah, they all felt me shoot out a happiness beam.”
“So you know exactly what they’re feeling all the time?”
Maggie took a moment to consider before answering. “It’s not a constant thing. But I can tune into what they’re feeling, and vice versa.” She caught my incredulous look.
“I know it sounds weird, but it feels like the most natural thing in the world. I can’t imagine not having them here.” She placed her hand over her heart.
I wasn’t sure what else showed on my face, but whatever it was made Maggie touch my shoulder gently.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine.” I tried to stop thinking about Kieran, Charlie, and even Ellis, and wondered what it would be like to know, with complete certainty, that they cared about me as much as I cared about them.
“I need to go meet some people,” Maggie said, patting my shoulder again. “But it was surprisingly okay to see you again.”
I snorted a laugh. “Good luck with everything.”
“Yeah, you too.”
“I saw you being nice to Maggie,” Austin said while we waited for my secure cab outside the restaurant.
“I don’t know aboutnice.” I needed to reevaluate some things in my life if the bare minimum of polite conversation was counted asnice. “We didn’t start yelling at each other, at least.”
“I never really understood why you hated her so much. Anyway, thanks for coming,” they said as my cab pulled up, giving me a side hug.
I’d figured out pretty quickly that Austin didn’t need me there at dinner, but I appreciated their effort to get me out of the house, even for something so out of my comfort zone. But instead of gloating about knowing their ulterior motives, I just hugged them back. “You’re welcome.”
The whole ride back to my apartment, all I could think about was Maggie’s face as she talked about her pack and held her hand over her heart.
I found myself doing the same because I could feel anabsencethere. Even with all the people I’d lost over the years, this felt different because it was my choice to push Charlie and Kieran away.
While my cab driver sped down the expressway - the lights of the city on my left and the dark expanse of the bay on my right - I had a very annoying realization: I’d done exactly what Ellis did to me. I’d pushed everyone away because I was too afraid of potential pain to even try to be happy.
My choice wasn’t a show of bravery or strength; it was cowardice, pure and simple.
And I wasn’t a fucking coward.
Chapter 25 - Ellis
We arrived at Charlie’s family home just after midnight. The train ride wasn’t exactly awkward, just quiet, and I was quite proud that I’d limited myself to a single saintly whiskey. We caught a cab from the station and made our way up the long, winding driveway to the Bennett estate. It was too dark to see very much, but I got the impression of a sprawling farmhouse.
An older woman, an Omega with a scent like toasted almonds, answered the door in a dressing gown. Her dark hair had touches of gray at the temples. Even if I didn’t recognize her as Adeline Bennett, erstwhile keyboardist for Porchlight Choir, I’d have known her as Charlie’s mother anywhere; she had the same slightly protruding ears and overwhelming sense of friendliness.
“It’s so good to see you, honey,” she said, giving Charlie a tight hug. She spotted me and did a double take. “Oh, I didn’t know you were bringing… someone.”
“Sorry, it was sort of a last-minute decision. This is Ellis,” Charlie said with an awkward “now presenting” gesture.
I stepped forward to shake her hand. I could still have good manners, even when I felt entirely out of place. “It’s lovely to meet you.”
