Page 35 of Fixate
I rubbed his back to soothe the tension from his muscles. “It’s ok, mon chou. You did nothing wrong. You were… perfect.”
He shivered in my hold, though he didn’t say a word. How in the world was I going to convince him this was ok? That what he’d said wasn’t weird or anything.
I’d find a way. I always did.
Ricardo and I were going to get to the bottom of this connection we had. I might not have asked him to come, but he was here now, and he wasn’t leaving my sight.
CHAPTER 13
Ricardo
Goddammit.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
I’d only come here to check on him. That was what I told myself while I packed up my life. It was the answer I gave Dante and Preacher when they questioned why I was leaving.
And yet here I am naked, sated, and really fucking confused while in his bed.
It’s not that I don’t know what calling him Daddy meant. I’m familiar enough with kink. Even if I hadn’t been before Preacher reappeared in Dante’s life, their active sex life gave me some clues pretty quickly. You can only hear your friend shouting “Harder, Daddy” so many times before you try to figure out what the fuck is going on.
I knew they weren’t biologically related, of course. A quick internet search brought me all kinds of information on the topic.
That’s honestly where this all probably started.
Because for as much as I looked up, I didn’t really have anyone to picture besides my friend and his lover. I didn’t wantto be the creep who only saw them sexually each time we spoke, so I focused on someone else.
Someone who happened to be Pharrell Lyon.
Someone who I shouldn’t be thinking of that way at all.
Not only was he a recent widower, but he was also clearly struggling with his business if what I knew was true. Add to it all that I was very much NOT gay, and it was a recipe for disaster.
Knowing that didn’t stop me from acting out this scene with him. At least, I think it was a scene. We didn’t discuss it though. Maybe it’s technically just sex with some light roleplay. I ran through all the information I’d bookmarked on my computer as I tried to decipher what the hell to say.
“It’s unlike you to be this quiet,” he pressed after another few minutes of silence.
I shrugged against him. We hadn’t pulled apart. There was cum and sweat between us, yet neither of us seemed in a hurry to separate.
My reasoning was based on confusion. Well, that and comfort. The man felt like heaven beneath my head. Heaven that smelled like pure sin.
I wanted to lick him and see if he tasted as delicious as his scent.
“I’m not sure what to do now,” I admitted. “This… I didn’t plan for this.”
“And you like having a plan.”
It wasn’t a question. He might not have known my entire past, but he knew enough to understand my need for lists and order ran deep. I’d been under the Romano rule for far too long to be a loose cannon. At least not when it came to work.
My personal life was a shit show. It never really worked out between me and the women I picked up. Mostly because I didn’t want to put them at risk by being with a man in my role. I also didn’t really connect with them strongly enough to haveanything more than a fling. It was a waste of our time to pretend otherwise.
“This wasn’t planned,” I repeated.
Pharrell rubbed along my back some more. The move relaxed the muscles that had tightened at his probing. I was still far more loose than I should have been.
Why wasn’t I freaking out? Where was the outrage over what had just happened?
I wasn’t gay. I didn’t sleep with men. I didn’t come with them or snuggle either.
