Page 116 of Another Love, Another Time
“Yeah, I was kind of late to the game on that one,” I say, then mumble, “Fucking late as hell.” I continue, “Congratulations, by the way. That’s great!”
“Thanks. I appreciate it. I just wanted to come say ‘hi’ and bury the hatchet.” He holds out his hand for me to shake.
“Consider it buried.” I reach out my hand and shake his hand. Then, he turns and walks back to his table, where his wife sits. They must have called our number while I was talking because River is bringing our food to our table.
“Who was that?” River asks as she places our food on the table and pulls out her chair. I don’t want to bring up anything about the night I lost my virginity, but it happened. She knows there’s no use in sugarcoating it.
“Believe it or not, but that was one of Melissa’s ex-boyfriends. Actually, that’s the guy she went with on the night of the bonfire.”
River’s eyes widen in memory of my story. “What did he want?”
“Well, he wanted to bury the hatchet.” I go into detail, telling her what he said about the blackmail and her picking a fight with him. She doesn’t seem surprised by any of it. She just listens intently.
“You don’t look surprised,” I tell her.
She takes a bite of her wrap, and she shrugs. “Because I’m not surprised. At this point, I don’t put anything past her, but this makes me think. If she did this to people other than you, me, and JD, we may be able to build a case against her.”
I think for a minute. After everything she’s done, she deserves to be put behind bars. She is obviously not remorseful, and she has gotten away with everything for way too long.
“I need to reach out to one of my first partners,” I say. “We were only partners for a month, but after that, she transferred out to another district. It’s possible Melissa blackmailed her to get her to transfer.”
“Melissa said something like that to me the other night,” River adds. “That’s what she wanted, for me to submit a request to change partners. I told her ‘no,’ and she said I’d be sorry. The only thing she has on me would also put her behind bars. Reach out to your old partner and see what she says. We may have a case.”
I nod, finish my sandwich, pick up both of our plates, and take them to the trash. Thinking about Melissa growing up, I’m not sure how she could have turned out this way, especially with the love she was shown. Some people are just evil.
~~
The rest of the day went pretty much the same. We didn’t have a lot of time to talk about the things that we wanted to talk about. I asked River if she wanted me to pick up some food for dinner. She headed home and waited for me to show up with our food. I pull into her driveway and grab the bags of food. As I walk up to the door, she opens it to let me in.
“What do you want to drink?” River asks.
“Sweet tea,” I answer.
She walks back into the kitchen, grabs two glasses, and fills them both up with sweet tea. She walks to the kitchen table and sits down as I separate the boxes. When we are both settled, I start.
“I know you’re probably tired of talking, but there is still stuff we need to talk about.”
She nods in agreement, picks up her fork, and starts to eat. I should probably wait, but we have put this off for way too long.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” I go on. “I’ve taken you for granted in the past. I will never be able to fix all the stupid shit I did as a kid. When we were younger, you told me you wanted me to date other girls, but you really meant you wanted me to choose only you, because you knew you would always choose me.
“I thought you’d always forgive me. It wasn’t important to me when I kissed her; it was just a kiss. I thought I was finally getting her off your back, but I never should have gone there. Every time I didn’t side with you while we were growing up, I broke your heart a little more. I shouldn’t have lied to you about losing my virginity. I should have told you as soon as it happened. I could say it was because I was immature or weak, but none of it matters. I can make up a million excuses, but I won’t because, as much as I’d like to go back and change everything, I can’t.
“Looking back, I wasn’t ready for you. I was still trying to figure everything out, and I learned the hard way when I lost you. You deserve better. You deserve somebody to be grateful for you. I’m not asking for forgiveness, not right now. I’m asking for a chance to earn your forgiveness.” She hasn’t said anything. I reach for her pinkie and squeeze.
“Please,” I beg. “I’ll get on my knees if I have to.”
“Auggie…. We were best friends. We spoke every day. I told you everything she did, but you still went along with your parents.” I’m still holding on to her pinkie. I can’t lose our connection.
“I loved you, but I know I loved you selfishly—on my terms, when it was easy. I took that for granted. When things got hard,and I had to make a choice, I was weak. I didn’t want, or I wasn’t ready, to be the partner you needed.”
“I loved you for as long as I can remember, Auggie. I came back because I thought that after all these years, you would have grown up, that you would love me the way I deserve.” She’s not pulling away, but the words she says scare me. “You’re right. I deserve to have someone to cherish me. I deserve to have someone tell me the truth, even if it hurts. I deserve someone who will stand beside me and choose to fight with me and for me.”
She swallows, bracing herself. “I just don’t know if you’re that guy, Auggie. I really thought you would be different, but I think it got worse. I mean, you were living with her, letting other people believe you were together. I need someone strong, someone who will fight with me.” She shakes her head. My heart is breaking. She’s not going to give me another chance. I’ve ruined it. She’s slipping away, and I don’t know what I can do to convince her.
“I can be that person.” I step forward, hand over my heart, but she’s already shaking her head. She doesn’t believe me. I’m losing her. “I can,” I repeat. “I feel like I’ve been sleepwalking the last five years. I didn’t care about anything. I thought I lost you for good, but I can’t lose you now. Please, River. Like I said, I know I don’t deserve you. I will deserve you. I love you, and I understand what you’re asking. I hear you loud and clear. Please don’t give up on this, on me. I know you can still feel our connection.”
I squeeze her pinkie again, and her eyes soften. I go on, “All I’m asking is for one more chance to be a part of your life. Please. We will take it slow, on your terms. I want to be the man you deserve, and I will be.”
