Page 79 of Another Love, Another Time
“When I finally made it to the voices, I found a couple making out.” She looks up, and my face pales. I know what she’s going to say.
“At first, I didn’t know who it was—not like I knew a lot of people there—but then I heard your voice, and it made me stop.” She drops her eyes back down. She has moved her hand to cover her heart as if it still pains her. She continues, “Once I saw who you were with…” She looks back up and she meets my eyes, daring me to look away, but I don’t dare.
I start to say something, but she interrupts, “Once I saw it was Melissa, I couldn’t stand there and watch, so I started my way back to the dance. Before I could, I ran into someone. He askedwhat I was doing out in the hallway. I told him I was on my way back to the dance. He grabbed onto my arm and started pulling me down another hall. I was fighting him the whole time, but he had my mouth covered. I couldn’t scream. I won’t go through all the details. I’m sure you’ve read the report.”
I shake my head, but I have. It’s hard enough to read it. I can’t imagine living through it.
“Anyway, I can barely recall anything from the time I was found to when I woke up in the hospital.”
“You wouldn’t let me ride with you to the hospital,” I say quietly, not wanting to interrupt.
She looks up. “What?”
“You wouldn’t let me ride with you to the hospital,” I repeat.
“To be honest, I don’t remember that, but I can tell you what I was thinking when I woke up in the hospital. It was that I trusted you to be there when I came out of that bathroom. You promised me you wouldn’t leave me, but you left me to be with her.”
My heart’s pounding. She doesn’t have to say who she’s talking about. I knew this would be hard to hear, but we need to do this if we are ever going to get our friendship back. Even though I would like to have more, she’s married.
“And when I saw who you were with, it broke me. I had to get away, and then J— I was attacked.”
“What were you going to say?” I question.
She mumbles, “Nothing.”
“Do you know who attacked you, River?” I say a little louder than I anticipate. I feel myself getting angry. “If you know who it is, why haven’t you told the police?” I challenge.
“Don’t,” she grates. “You don’t get to do that. The police messed up. There’s more to the story. You don’t get to hear that part quite yet. I need to be able to trust you. Calm down.”
I sit back down. I cannot believe she’s known this whole time and hasn’t said anything.
She’s emotionless when she continues, “Anyway, I didn’t want you anywhere near me. You chose Melissa, and you broke your promise to me. That attack would have never happened if you had been there. He would have never had the opportunity to be anywhere near me.”
She blames me. I can barely breathe. I knew she did. Hell, I blame myself, but to hear her say it… She’s never going to forgive me.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, ready to hear the rest.
“When I woke up in the hospital, everyone kept telling me you wanted to see me. But I couldn’t. I had trusted you. I didn’t understand how you could kiss Melissa, especially while you were at prom with me. It made me start questioning everything. Were you together? How long? How were you going to explain that? I wanted answers. So, when I finally let you come in and then you lied to me, it was over. I knew you weren’t going to be straight with me about anything.
“I had to get away. I couldn’t keep going in this cycle with Melissa’s manipulations. You knew she would do that, and yet you still went along with it. Even if you felt bad, even if you blamed yourself, you didn’t tell me the truth.
“I could have easily manipulated you. I could have played up the ‘damsel in distress,’ taken that role. But I didn’t want to ‘win’ by manipulating you. I’m not Melissa.”
“What are you talking about? ‘Win’ me?” I stand, pushing back my chair. “Was I a fucking game to you?”
“No. What I’m trying to say is that I didn’t want you to be with me because you felt bad for what happened.”
My voice rises. “You’re damn right I felt bad.”
She holds up her hand. “Yeah. Excuse me. I saw your tongue down her throat. For a minute there, I wanted you to be with me because you felt guilty. That’s what I meant. Now let me talk. You can talk when it’s your turn.”
“Okay, okay.” I sit back down and take a calming breath.
“So, I was saying that I couldn’t see you. Not when I was like that. Not with all the bruising on my face. But then my dad asked me to talk to you. You have to understand, all I wanted was to talk to you, but I was scared. He didn’t rape me, but what I went through messed with my head. I felt so weak and betrayed. I blamed you.
“So, my dad talked me into hearing your side of the story. Maybe it wasn’t what it looked like.” She shrugs as if she is brushing all that drama away, as if it meant nothing, when both of us know it is the hinge of our fractured relationship.
“When I saw you walk through the door, I recognized it.”
