7
Elissa would always wonderwhen she realized Mrs. Blacksworth wasn’t the wounded soul she’d once thought she was, or how the woman had manipulated her to carry out deeds that were more about vengeance than exposing wrongdoing and helping victims.
Pete Finnegan was gone. He’d packed up the truck, done a final walk-through of the cabin, made sure his punch list was complete, and then he’d given her a brief nod and left. No words, no lingering gazes.
Nothing.
This loss was more painful than finding out about Zachary. She’d shown Pete who she really was, and she’d believed he’d done the same. Sure, they’d called it pretending, but that wasn’t anything more than a safe way to let the other person see the scars and the hurts. It was a way to gain acceptance without judgment, and maybe even love. She would not believe their time together meant nothing to him, and she refused to accept that he’d lied to her about his life in California.
But how would she ever know? She’d ruined their chance. What might have happened if she’d told him she knew Nate and Christine Desantro, knew about Magdalena, and had a part in causing pain to some of the residents? Would she have realized her employer’s motives sooner? Would Pete have judged her, and if he had, would he have forgiven her?
Maybe.
Or maybe not.
She’d lived her whole life according to right and wrong, well-crafted plans and life timelines, and yet, she’d never been unhappier. The only moments of true, pure happiness had been the time spent in the cabin with Pete.
And she’d ruined it. All of it. Her chest ached with the loss she’d brought on with her naïveté. She made her way to the bedroom, lay on Pete’s pillow, inhaled his scent. If she closed her eyes, she could almost pretend he was in the kitchen, making breakfast as he’d done these past several days. The smell of coffee would reach her any second, then the aroma of cinnamon and apples as he heated them for her oatmeal and topped it with walnuts. Soon, he’d carry a tray into the bedroom, humming under his breath. And then he’d kiss her temple…whisper in her ear…
Elissa blinked her eyes open, swiped at her cheeks.
She could pretend all she wanted because Pete was gone. Gone from the cabin, gone from her life. But the memory of him? That would never disappear. Life would be different now. No more five-year plans or timelines, no more following someone else’s blueprint or definition of happiness.
If the time in the cabin had taught her one lesson, it was that life could and should be lived on her own terms, no matter the outcome. Tomorrow, she’d close up the place and head back to Chicago. Maybe she’d stop along the way, look for a few small towns to spend the night. What was the rush? Her parents didn’t expect her for another week and she wasn’t due back at work for another ten days—just in time to hand in her resignation. People would think she was crazy to quit a nursing job that paid so well, but it wasn’t about the money. Mrs. Blacksworth had gifted her a generous sum, but even if she hadn’t, Elissa would still leave. Maybe it was the hospital setting she didn’t like…or maybe it was Chicago…
She didn’t know, not yet, but she’d explore the possibilities until she found a place and a job that brought her joy.
* * *
“Dad sayshe loves me more than three scoops of cherry chip ice cream.”Giggle giggle. “That’s his very favorite.” Lily’s eyes sparkled as she read the lines from the letter her father had written her. “He loves me more than snow angels on a starry night.” Her voice drifted. “He’s an angel now,” she whispered, glancing at Christine, who sat next to her. “A real one, not just a snow one. And he can see everything we’re doing.” She pointed toward the ceiling, nodded. “He watches over all of us.”
Christine nodded, whispered back, “Yes, he does.”
“Anna and Joy, too, even though he never met them when he was on earth.”
“Yes” Christine said, her voice cracking, “them, too.”
Nate watched his sister discuss angels as though she believed everyone knew they existed and it was no big deal to carry on conversations with them. Only Lily. He and Christine delivered the letters to his mother and Lily this afternoon while Lucy Benito babysat the girls. They’d agreed the less distractions, the better. When Christine handed his mother her letter, she’d clutched it to her chest, let out a whimper, and disappeared into the bedroom.
Yeah, he got how she’d want to be alone.
“Dad loves me more than ten flannel shirts!” Lily looked at Nate, brows pulled together. “Do you love Christine more than ten flannel shirts?”
That sounded like a Lily question. He grinned and slid a glance at his wife. “Ten? That’s a lot.” He rubbed his jaw, pretended to consider his answer.
“Come on, Nate.” Lily leaned toward him. “Tell her.”
“Well…” His voice dipped as he held Christine’s gaze. “Actually, I love Christine more thanfive hundredflannel shirts.”
“Yay!” Lily clapped her hands, laughed. “I knew it.”
“I figured you did.” He grinned at his sister.
She gave him the thumbs-up and went back to the letter. He spotted the second her mood changed. Her mouth pulled into a frown, her small shoulders sagged. When she looked up, there were tears in her eyes. “Dad says he can’t wait to be here for my first horse ride.”Sniff, sniff. “He didn’t get to come because he died.”Sniff, sniff. “I miss him so much.”
Christine put an arm around Lily, pulled her close. “I know, sweetheart. I know.”
Nate didn’t miss the raspy voice or the tears in his wife’s eyes. Damn, but he hated to see a woman in tears, especially his wife and sister. He guessed his mother might be shedding a few of her own since she’d been in the bedroom the past forty minutes. “Hey, this letter was supposed to make you happy, not turn you into a sad sack.”