Page 22 of A Family Affair: The Vow
A smile slipped out. “Since you have so much experience in this situation, I’d appreciate whatever you can say to get Josh thinking about being responsible for the result and not relying on someone else. ‘Don’t worry’ never stopped a positive pregnancy test.”
“Truth. I like that one.”
A real smile peeked out, made her dark eyes shine. “I wonder where Josh is.” She shoved her gloved hands into her pockets, stomped her feet on the cement steps. “The hardware store is eight minutes away.”
“We could wait inside?”
The slightest hesitation and then, “Sure. No sense freezing.” She stood, motioned him toward the front door. Vic had been in the Darlington house several times, but never when Rae was there. He grabbed his toolbox, followed her inside, and caught the aroma of cinnamon and cloves. “It smells good in here. My mother used to make cinnamon applesauce that smelled just like this.” A pang of longing shot through him, settled in his chest. Maybe he should buy a cinnamon candle to remind him of simpler times when he was younger and it was just him and his mother. And maybe—
“Actually, what you smelliscinnamon applesauce. I made it yesterday and I’ll bet Josh was into it, probably heated some in the microwave.”
“I didn’t know you could cook.” What else didn’t he know about her?
“Actually, I’m pretty decent in the kitchen, but I’m usually too busy to do much of it. I used to enjoy cooking, and since I’ve been back here, I’ve been trying out some of my mom’s old recipes.” Her voice drifted, filled with the wistfulness of remembering. “I made chicken Cordon Bleu the other day and peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.” Her next words simmered with humor. “Josh sure can eat.”
Vic laughed. “I’ve witnessed him in action. He’s formidable.” A long sigh. “I remember the days when I could eat like that. Pizza and wings at midnight...three-quarter pound burgers, fries—and I’m talking about the cheesy fries with lots of salt—burritos doused in hot sauce...pork sliders...and beer.” Another laugh, a shudder. “Lots of beer.”
“Lots of heartburn.” Her smile covered him. “You’ve either inherited the skinny gene or a fast metabolism.” She studied him as though contemplating the possibility of either—or both.
“I toned it down when I hit thirty. Figured if I wanted to see forty or fifty, I couldn’t keep shoving all that fat and cholesterol into my body.” He patted his belly. “And I work out.”
The raised brow saiddoubtful, but the comment said,impossible. “Youwork out? Umm...I am definitely not picturing you in a gym.”
“That’s because I don’t belong to a gym. I did for a short time when I lived in California, but I couldn’t relate to any of it.” He rubbed his jaw, remembered those days and how much he didn’t belong in a gym. “It was all too over-the-top for me: the way people spoke, the soundtracks, the outfits the women wore, the routines, the ‘way to go’ and ‘nice job’. Nothing felt natural and I didn’t fit in. The woman I was seeing at the time thought it was a Who’s Who of the social scene, but I thought most were wannabe fakes. So, I quit and took up running. I got in my weight training at the construction job where I worked, and I didn’t have to listen to the stupid soundtracks or the pathetic pickup lines in the gym.” Rae stared at him as if he’d revealed a secret part of himself that surprised her. And the smile said that surprise wasn’t disappointing either. In fact, she looked intrigued.
And he’d take intrigued over disappointed any day.
12
“Would you like something to drink? I know there’s beer in the fridge and wine…maybe some vodka or scotch, but I’d have to check.”
“Water’s fine.” The look said she hadn’t expected that response. The woman sure had her opinions about a lot of things, especially him. He could act as if he didn’t care what she thought of him, but for some ridiculous reason, he did.
Rae shrugged out of her jacket, placed it over the back of a kitchen chair, and proceeded to fix two waters. When she opened the bottom freezer section of the fridge to add a few ice cubes to their drinks, his gaze followed the curve of her hips, the toned legs covered in dark denim, the slender ankles... He cleared his throat, blocked out images of curves and ankles and moved toward the sink. “I see Josh kept his word about keeping the place clean.”
“Surprising, but he has.” She handed him his water, took a sip of her own. “I’d like to think I might have convinced him to clean it up on his ownandkeep it that way, but he’d only view my attempts as badgering and I have to admit I agree.” Her honey-brown eyes turned bright, glistened. “He listens to you, and not just about how to keep the house clean. Thank you.”
Wow, Rae Darlington actually paying him a compliment. “You’re welcome. Don’t count Josh out. He’s a good kid; he just needs a little guidance. I think he’s going to be a late bloomer… Kind of reminds me of myself.”
She eyed him, her next words stuffed with curiosity. “Really? I would not have thought that.”
A nod, a half-smile. “I took off from this place as soon as I could, determined I was going to make it big, live large and free in California. It didn’t actually turn out the way I thought it would, and the living large and free had more strings and restrictions than I anticipated.” Like a girlfriend who wanted a ring on her finger and another in his nose so she could pull him around, dress him in designer clothes, and get him a job at her father’s company.
“Funny thing about our perception of what we think is going to give us power and freedom. It often works against us, but we don’t see that until we’re knee-deep in the stuff.” Her voice shifted. “Sometimes all it does is smother who we are and camouflage what we really want. It confuses us, turns us around, and makes us lose track of our core values until we become something we never intended to be. No, that’s not true.” She settled her gaze on his chin, her next words filled with what sounded an awful lot like remorse. “Wethinkwe want a certain thing and we obsess over it until it blinds us toeverythingbut that goal. We give up so much in the process, even parts of ourselves, and we never see that until it’s almost too late.” Her gaze inched to his, eyes brighter than they’d been a second ago. “And then life lands on top of us and shows us who’s in charge.”
Thatwas an awful lot of revelation, and if he took it apart one piece at a time like jumbled-up cable wire, he could see she was speaking about herself and her career. The time spent away from family, the laser-focused path that excluded everythingbutthe goal, and the loneliness and regret that followed. Was Richard a.k.a. Dick part of that as well? Was he a choice she made based on statistics and descriptions rather than the individual? And had he left her feeling alone and lonely? Now that was a truth he’d be interested to know.
“We all make choices we’d like to rewind and who doesn’t wish for that second chance? Sometimes though it’s more about accepting the old stuff and not repeating those choices again. I’m a good example. When I came back from California, I was done trying to take shortcuts and find ways to make a quick buck. I wanted to do something that mattered, something that made me feel good about myself. And I wanted to do it on my own terms, not someone else’s expectations of what I should and shouldn’t do, no matter how much money and prestige was involved.” Vic didn’t miss the slight flinch or the almost desperate expression that said she understood.
“If I’d compromised myself and listened to someone else’s thoughts of who I was and what I should do, I’d be living in a penthouse, married and miserable, working at a job I hated, wearing a suit and suffocating.” That was the closest bit of truth he’d ever admitted to anyone other than Nate about his time in California and the woman who’d tried to remake him. “I’m sure I would’ve been divorced by now, but what if there were a kid or two involved?” He blew out a sigh, pictured what that would look like. “If I’d ended up here, when would I see my kids? And if I stayed in California, then what? At least I woke up and realized what I wanted and what I didn’t want.”
Rae stood very still, hands clutching the glass of water, and when she spoke, he didn’t miss the admiration in her words. “That was a very brave thing to do, especially for someone so young.”
“You think so? I don’t call it brave when you’re suffocating in your own life. I call it desperate and that’s what I was, but Nate gave me a chance to prove myself and I vowed never to disappoint that man. That’s how I think about Josh. He just needs somebody to believe in him and expect him to do therightthing, not theeasything. That’s what I try to do. I’m not looking to take over the role of father or anything other than a boss who expects him to work hard and do the right thing, and a friend who expects the same.”
Those brown eyes turned so bright he swore she’d spill a tear, but she didn’t. “Thank you. I was so determined to get him to listen to me that I didn’t stop and realize he barely knew me and he certainly didn’t respect me. I should have seen that and I also should have seen that you were trying to help him, not overstep or overrule me.” Her voice dipped, spilled sincerity. “I’ll try to be more understanding where he’s concerned.”
That was a big step for her, one he never thought she’d commit to when she first rolled into town. Maybe she’d also rethink a few things about him, such as how he could be a decent, even likeable guy. “I appreciate that.”
