13
Hope thought about Lily Desantro’s words for the rest of the day. Why had Lily seemed so certain Hope and Sam belonged together? How could she know when there’d been no indication?Lily had to be wrong.Hope didn’t want to fall for anyone, especially not a man who’d been hurt and might never share his heart again…even if that man were easy to talk to, made her laugh, and caused her pulse to speed up when he was near.
She headed to her room after dinner, determined to avoid Sam Harrington until she analyzed her feelings and cross-referenced them with Lily’s comments. If she spent enough time on it, she’d figure out why she and Sam were getting along so well, why she looked forward to seeing him, and why he seemed to want to share his day with her. Once she did that, she’d find a label and categorize it. Life would settle in again and references of meant-to-be would evaporate.
But having a plan didn’t always mean a person would succeed with its execution and that’s exactly what Hope learned an hour later when Sam knocked on her door.
“Hey, are you feeling okay?” he asked when she opened the door.
She ignored the skittering pulse and rush of heat swirling through her and pushed out an answer. “I’m fine. Just a little tired.”Just very confused and trying to get my head straight.
“Too much fresh air and walking yesterday?” A smile slipped across his face, made her wish he weren’t so attractive…his voice so compelling…
“I guess.”
“Hey, what’s going on?”
She didn’t miss the concern on his face seconds before she looked away. Why did Lily Desantro have to go on and on about couples and meant-to-bes and why did she have to target Sam and Hope as the next couple? Just because she said it didn’t make it so. But Lily’s words would not go away.Remember what I said. Once you stop being afraid, you can open your heart and let the magic happen. You and Sam Harrington are Magdalena’s next meant-to-be.
“Hope?” He placed a hand on her shoulder, said in a soft voice, “Look at me.”
No, she did not want to do that…did not want to look into those eyes…settle her gaze on his lips…did not want to…
“Did I do something to upset you?”
More concern in that voice, more feeling… She sucked in a breath, lifted her gaze to meet his. “It’s not you.”
Sam’s offered the gentlest smile. “Good. Is it about the project? Did your boss not like what you sent him?”
A shake of her head. “No, not that. I’m just at an impasse right now and trying to figure out what to do next.”I’m trying to figure out what to do with these unwanted emotions Lily Desantro has stirred up and identified. That’s what has me in a mood.
“I know you’ll figure it out.”
“Thank you.”I have to…these feelings are not okay and Lily ‘s dead wrong…even if she says she always knows…
His gaze slid to her neck, settled on a lock of hair that had slipped from her bun. “Looks like your fancy hairstyle is coming undone. I’ve wondered about your hair...” He reached a hand behind her and pulled out a pin. “What would it feel like?” He released another pin from her bun, then another until her hair lay about her shoulders.
Hope remained very still, caught between the desire to push him away and the equal desire to pull him closer. This wasnothelping her sort out the crazy emotions running through her, and when he looked at her like she was a chocolate truffle? Ugh, she couldn’t think! “It can be a tangled mess if I don’t pull it back.”
Sam shook his head, laughed. “It’s beautiful.” He sifted a lock through his fingers, let it fall to her shoulders. “You should wear it long.”
“It’s too cumbersome and I prefer a chignon or bun.” Why not tell him the rest? “It’s more professional looking.” And in a world filled with men, she did not want to be singled out for her hair or tagged as too feminine. It was the same reason she wore suits that didn’t hug her body or show cleavage. Business, that’s what she wanted everyone to think about when she was in the room. The problem was she’d never been able to transition from work to home life and adopt a more relaxed attitudeanda more casual wardrobe, including her hairstyle.
Another laugh. “Maybe, but we’re not in aprofessionalsetting now, are we? No reason to keep it all tied up and yet you do. Why not just hack it off?” When she didn’t answer, he provided his own response. “Because you like it long, like the feel of it against your shoulders…” He stepped back, brows furrowed, brackets around his mouth deep. “The first time we met, you reminded me of the people I left behind in Chicago: wealthy,entitled, self-absorbed, with an attitude that said they were better than everyone else. They were all so damn convincing with their airs and designer lifestyles that I thought theywerebetter. I got so caught up in it thatIbecame one of them and lost who I really was… It’s easy to do when you follow someone else’s dream instead of your own.” He tilted his head to the side, rubbed his jaw, those whiskey-colored eyes burning through her. “My brain says stay away, you’re just like my ex-wife—maybe worse. But there’s another part of me that sees something different, that sees another layer when I look at you, andthat’swhat has me so intrigued…what pulls me in and makes me wonder who therealHope Newland is. What’s she like and how do I findher?”
From the moment she met him, she’d sensed he knew there was something about her that didn’t add up, something she didn’t want anyone to see. Could she tell him the truth?I’ve spent years imitating other people, adapting their airs and style, but I’m not one of them. I’ll never be one of them… I’ll always be the poor girl who lived in a bed-and-breakfast, wore hand-me-downs, and learned to cook and clean so we had a place to call home.No, that would be too much to admit so she settled for a bland response. “People see what they want to see whether it’s real or not.”
“Really? Is that what you’re telling yourself while you’re hiding behind the buttoned-up outfits and fancy hairstyles? The speech patterns are a nice touch—precise and calculated. Wonder what they’d sound like if you dropped in a swear word or two?” His voice dipped. “Do you know what I see when I look at you?” He didn’t wait for her response, before he answered. “A woman in hiding. But if I look deeper, I also see a real person, one with faults and screw ups who wasn’t always like this but has practiced so hard to be someone else she’s afraid to be who shereally is.” He reached for another lock of hair, sifted it through his fingers. “I think I’d really like to meet that person.”
Hope stepped back, away from him and his in-depth assessments. “I’m sorry, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He studied her a second too long. “Okay then, my mistake. I think I’ll turn in.” One more look before he said, “I really thought there was another ‘Hope’ and I’m sorry there isn’t.”
Seconds later, the door clicked behind him as Sam left the room. Hope listened as he entered his own room, pictured him removing his T-shirt, unbuckling his belt, unzipping his jeans…
There was no sense denying the desire or the sizzle that burst through her when he was near. Maybe in some way it had been present the first time she met him, though she’d attributed the uneasiness she felt to the man’s comments and cool attitude. What if it hadn’t been that at all? What if it had been so much deeper, so muchmore? What if Lily Desantro had been right? But Hope didn’t want a relationship… Didn’t want to need anyone or feel a closeness that stole her breath…didn’t want…him?
That last would be a lie. Sam wanted to know the real her? Could she dothat? She’d been guarding herself for so long, did she even know who she was? And if she let him see her faults, what then? It wasn’t as though he wanted a long-term relationship, so did it matter if he saw how imperfect she was? For someone who planned her entire life and anticipated each step, Hope hadn’t planned and couldn’t anticipate what was happening with Sam Harrington. This time she was acting based on emotion, something she hadn’t done in a very long time. Hope moved toward the door, hesitated.