Page 27 of Players Like Us
“It’s easy to miss especially with somebody like me who’s spent most of his life perfecting whatever is outrageous, unseemly, or ridiculous. We’ve all got our roles, don’t we? I just thought mine was the clown of the family, the undependable one who just needed to be a good screw-up, as long as he didn’t blow up his life. Meredith was always the bleeding heart, and you were the sensible one. You had all the answers, so why would we need to find our own? Our mother wasn’t capable of being the decision-maker and she couldn’t protect us against the old man. It wasn’t fair to you, and I shouldn’t have been okay with that.” Neal sucked in a breath, let the truth spill out. “I’m sorry for all the years I blamed you for my bad decisions and crappy choices, and for stealing the old man’s attention. It was never your fault.”
“We all had our own issues and I wish we’d talked about it instead of burying the mess that became our lives. We just hid and pretended it was normal, but it cost us. I strove for perfection because I thought it would give me control. You made sure no one ever counted on you for anything, and Meredith? Well, we know how our sister lived in her own pretend world and fell apart every time someone disappointed her. But she finally found her place, and you can feel the joy when she talks about helping others through her company…and that new husband of hers.”
“Jerk husband,” Neal muttered. “He’s no saint either. He can pretend all he wants, but I remember how he broke Meredith’s heart so he can save the bull…”
“We all screw up, but it’s more about owning it and moving on. I want to hear about these businesses and what you’re doing with them…” Tate rubbed his jaw, smiled. “I want to hear all of it. You might be able to give me a few pointers.”
Neal should not feel so ridiculously happy with his brother’s compliments, but the truth was, he did and so what? “I’ll be happy to share.”
“And while you’re at it, maybe you can tell me what’s going on between you and Rachel Reese.” He must have seen the surprise on Neal’s face because he laughed. “Meredith has a way of ferreting out information and apparently she had a conversation with Rachel. Seems when your name came up, Rachel stumbled all over her answers. Hmm. What’s going on between you two?”
The raised brow said Neal could try to hide behind comments like Nothing’s going on or whatever else he wanted to plant as a possibility, but his brother wasn’t buying it. “The truth?”
“There shouldn’t be anything else between us.”
“I have no idea.”
Tate nodded, said in a serious voice, “I believe you, but you better figure it out soon before it all blows up around you. And just because I’m curious, does she have any idea you’re more than a playboy living off of family money?”
A cough and a quiet “She doesn’t know. “
Big sigh. “Like I said, better get it out in the open before the truth buries you.”
17
From the moment she opened the invitation to Meredith and Neal’s surprise party, Rachel had wondered if Neal would be there. She’d convinced herself he wouldn’t be, which lessened the anticipation that he might be. The man had disappeared from her life and while she’d considered several ways to ask Dominic about him, she’d buried each one.
If the man wanted to be found, he would be. If he had any desire to see her—at all—he knew how to find her. And now, here he was, standing in his brother’s gigantic sunroom, gazing out of the wall of windows into the semidarkness. What was he thinking? The furrowed brow and intense expression gave nothing away. He looked so alone, so out of place and uncomfortable, as though he wished he were anywhere but here. Gone was the man with the air of self-assurance and a carefree attitude that said he didn’t want or need anyone in his personal space for longer than a few breaths—or a quick hookup.
What if that weren’t true? What if he’d been hiding his real emotions, determined not to share or get hurt? She understood all about doing that. Don’t put yourself out there and no one can hurt you or take advantage of you, and they certainly can’t destroy you. Keep the emotions inside, pretend you don’t care, and never reveal your true self. Hadn’t she been doing that for years? She studied the set of his jaw, the strong nose, the lean figure in designer labels...
“He never was one for big crowds, though you’d never know it.”
Rachel turned to Meredith, nodded. “He doesn’t look very happy. Too much family or…?”
Meredith, blinked, tears filling her eyes. “Too much everything. Neal doesn’t want people to see how much he cares so he hides behind outrageous comments and questionable behavior. But my brother does care about a lot of things and I wish he would just let people see the real him.” A sniff, a shake of her dark head. “He’s not going to show anybody…not even me.”
“Why?” The more she found out about the man, the less she understood.
A swipe of her cheeks. “Why do I think he cares too much, or why do I think he won’t let anyone see?”
“Both.” Why did she care about Meredith’s answer? What did any of it matter? She didn’t know, but it did matter and for some crazy reason she wanted to understand the “why” behind this man. So she could best him? So she could avoid him and cross him out of her life as nothing more than an annoyance? Or was it something else? Something deeper, like a need to understand the fragile, broken part of him because she cared?
Cared? What did that even mean?
Meredith’s words pierced her thoughts, inched to her heart. “It’s very difficult to be the sibling of an older brother who’s perfect and rarely, if ever, makes mistakes. We love Tate, he’s our hero and our champion. He saved us when we were children and he will always try to protects us.” Meredith cleared her throat, bit her bottom lip. “Mostly from our father, but sometimes he tries to protect us from ourselves. But being second or third, or not even recognized because your brother outshines everything? It’s an impossible situation. If you’re someone like Neal, all you want to do is be yourself, but you can’t because it won’t be good enough, so you stop trying. Neal found it easier to play the prankster and the joker than to stand up to our father or our brother’s perfection.”
“I do know a little about trying to follow in a near-perfect sibling’s steps.” Rachel raised a brow. “Daniel took on the responsibility of watching out for me, made sure I stayed out of trouble or if I did get into trouble, he’d pull me out. Not what I wanted either. I fought him for years and many of my less admirable choices were more about fighting him than my parents.”
“My husband can be somewhat forceful and stern, but he’s coming around. I like to think I’m teaching him patience.”
“If you could do that, I would be forever grateful.”
Meredith winked. “Stay tuned...” She hugged Rachel and whispered, “I’m not sure what’s going on between you and Neal, but he’s a good person. Don’t give up on him.”
Her words stayed with Rachel as she sipped her wine and made small talk with Tate and Charlotte Alexander. They were the perfect couple despite their obvious differences in fashion and style choices, personality, and demeanor. Tate was calm, sophisticated, in control, while Charlotte was constant motion and spat out whatever shot through her brain, her excitement for or against a particular subject thrumming through her words. A person would never have to guess where they stood with her. But the way she and Tate spoke to one another, the casual touches, the looks? They spoke of love, commitment, and mutual respect.
Neal had disappeared shortly after she and Meredith began talking and still hadn’t returned. He must have seen her and maybe that’s why he’d gone missing. Tonight was a casual get- together, while tomorrow would be the big surprise party. Maybe he’d disappeared because aside from the staff, the only people here were couples. Talk about awkward. Of course, Daniel wouldn’t consider it awkward that she and Neal weren’t conversing and weren’t anywhere close to being a couple.
