Page 40 of Players Like Us
A gentle smile and then Who knows? He left for Virginia a few hours ago.
Oh. She’d tried so hard not to cry, but the tears fell anyway.
Don’t give up on him, Rachel. He’s a really special guy but he doesn’t like to show his true self. We all misjudged him, me more than anybody.
I have to talk to him, Tate.
He needs to talk to you, too, but he might need time. No matter what he tells you, remember that he cares. My brother doesn’t let people see his true feelings, and I’ve never seen him so turned around by a woman, but when you meet the right one, that’s what happens. The smile spread across his handsome face. Do not give up, even if he tries to push you away and divulges a few truths you don’t want to hear. Neal cares about you. My guess is he loves you though he might not have realized that yet.
Those last words stayed with Rachel, tucked deep inside her heart, giving her hope. If she called him, there was a good chance he wouldn’t answer. And if he did, she wouldn’t be able to see his face. What she had to tell him must be done in person. It took six days to work up the courage to see him.
Rachel had been thinking about contacting Dominic to find out Neal’s whereabouts, when Dominic called. If she hadn’t been so caught up in Tate’s words and her own feelings, she might have noticed the hesitancy in his voice, the hint of concern. But she didn’t notice anything because she wasn’t listening. “Dominic? I was just going to call you. I need to see Neal.”
“Uh, sure, but my partner wants to hear your presentation. He’s usually very hands off with deals, but he’s interested in this one. Why don’t we take care of that before you deal with whatever’s going on between you and Neal?”
Finally! The silent partner wanted to meet her. Dominic told her the man had a lot of influence and if she got buy-in from him, she’d have no problem getting future projects. This could be huge for her. So, why wasn’t she elated? Why didn’t she jump on Dominic’s request and agree? “I appreciate this meeting, but I’d really like to talk to Neal first.”
Pause and an apologetic “I’m sorry but I’m not sure he wants to see you right now. Let’s have the meeting and we’ll talk after.”
She got it. He was angry, hurt, afraid. Neal Alexander, afraid? It seemed impossible that a man like him would be afraid of anything. And yet when she thought about all that he’d shared, she realized he wasn’t that different from herself. Always running… Always pretending… Always denying true emotions… Maybe the only way to see Neal was to agree to the meeting.
At 4:00 p.m. that afternoon, Rachel entered Matilda’s, portfolio under her arm. Dominic rose from the booth where she and Neal often sat when they were looking at fabric samples or furniture layouts. Regret consumed her when she thought of how she’d asked him to pretend they weren’t together. Would he listen to her apology and trust her enough to give her a second chance?
“Let’s head to my office.” Dominic looked unusually serious today, no doubt because of her situation with Neal. Or maybe he was concerned about the meeting with his partner.
“No matter what happens, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” He’d been so kind, so helpful. “I don’t know how much Neal told you, but…” The almost smile told her he knew quite a bit about what had happened between herself and Neal. “I need to see him, Dominic. I thought about calling, but what I have to say should be done in person.”
“Why don’t you get through the meeting first and then we’ll talk?”
A nod, and an attempt at a smile that flopped. “All I’ve wanted for years is a chance to show I can do this work. So why am I not outrageously excited? Why is it the only thing I can think about is setting things right with Neal?”
The two-second hesitation said he had his ideas but he wasn’t sharing. “Whatever happens in the meeting, remember that people do all sorts of things for reasons we might not understand. Sometimes, they don’t understand the reasons themselves. Just hang in there, and don’t give up.”
“Okay.” She nodded, squared her shoulders. “Fingers crossed your partner likes my suggestions.”
“Agreed. Good luck.”
Rachel clutched her portfolio, headed to Dominic’s office. Neal once told her he hung out here so he could look busy, and she’d even caught him on Dominic’s computer once. Another time she’d seen him glancing at a spreadsheet, making notes. Both times, when he spotted her, he’d made a joke about pretending to be a businessperson. But the intensity in his gaze as he studied the screen and jotted notes didn’t resemble casual interest or curiosity. No, it had all seemed very real…as though he knew what he was doing… Knew what he was looking at… What he wanted to see.
Rachel sucked in a deep breath, turned the doorknob, and stepped inside.
“Neal?”
25
Her pulse skittered, her breath caught in her throat. It had been too long since she’d seen him… And now he was a few feet away—so close and yet the look on his face was not one she’d seen before. Cold. Distant. Definitely unapproachable.
“Hello, Rachel.”
“What… What are you doing here?” He continued to stare, offering nothing. “I need to talk to you.” She pushed aside thoughts of the meeting with the silent partner and focused on the man in front of her. “I’m so sorry for what I said that afternoon. I was wrong and I should have—”
“Stop.” The left side of his jaw twitched, the dark brows pinched together. “There’s no need to apologize for what you said. It was the truth. If it weren’t, you wouldn’t have had to think about it.”
“No, that’s not true. Well, maybe at first because I was confused and so scared. How could I have feelings for you when I wasn’t sure you even knew what commitment meant? I told myself to be careful, that you could hurt me and I’d never get over it. That part’s all true. You could hurt me and I probably never would get over it. But I also realized that maybe I’d misjudged you. Maybe you really could commit to one person and I could be that person.” More staring, more jaw twitching, more silence. “Neal, did you hear me? I’ve spent most of my life pretending to be someone else, going after guys who were short-term and never going to connect. And…”
“And that’s exactly who you thought I was.” The tight smile flipped to a frown, his voice soft. “All those years ago, you chose me for meaningless sex and this time was no different.”
“Neal, don’t talk like that.” She took a step forward. “I know I hurt you with what I said, and I’m so sorry. Can you give me another chance?”
