Page 102 of Dreams
“I’m announcing my retirement from hockey.” Surprised mutterings grew louder by the moment.
Josh heard the phrases “such promise” and “bright future” bandied about.
“When I’m done, you’ll be able to ask the coaches all your questions. I have a heart condition. It isn’t something that can be fixed and hockey…” he paused, forcing the thickness out of his voice. “Hockey can no longer be a part of my life. I’d like to thank the Columbus Blue Jackets organization for giving me the opportunities that every player dreams of when they’re young. My coaches for encouraging me, and teaching me the right way to be a professional. Thanks to my teammates for this wild ride. And most of all, I’d like to thank everyone in Columbus who has cheered me and the team on. This news may come as a shock to you – I’m still trying to come to terms with what it means for me. Hockey has been my life. This team has been my family. This game is special, and it will always have a part of me. I…”
Josh scanned the crowd in front of him one more time before standing abruptly. “Just… thank you.”
He hurried from the room, leaving behind a chorus of questions now directed at the two coaches.
Mack followed him through the halls until they were outside, the biting chill of the wind whipping them in the face.
They walked home, leaving the arena behind.
* * *
The next week moved at a snail’s pace. Josh finished his interviews and was effectively done. His phone had been blowing up ever since the news broke. Friends from around the league offered their words of encouragement. Even a few players he didn’t know personally contacted him.
They all got it. They knew this could easily have happened to them. It was real, and it was frightening.
Josh didn’t know what to do with himself most days. He knew he needed to make a plan. Sitting in his apartment watching Netflix for the rest of his life was not an option. His body felt sluggish. It was used to daily workouts. He could do light workouts, but didn’t see the point if he couldn’t go all-out.
People used to tell him he was lucky. He knew what he’d wanted to do for a living from the time he was eight years old. Old enough to realize what he loved. There’d been no other goal. Now he felt like he had to pull one out of thin air.
Taylor had an exam the next day so she was spending the afternoon in the library, and Mack was working with a new skating coach.At least he’s trying harder,Josh thought when Mack told him about the extra practice.
There were three solid raps on his door. Looking down at his drawstring shorts and bare torso, he hoped it wasn’t Taylor, finished studying early. He had yet to shave, the blond stubble coating his jaw.
He grabbed a shirt from his room and pulled it on as the knock sounded again.
Josh was surprised to find Coach Scott at his door.
“Walker,” the coach nodded. He looked him up and down before scanning the rest of the apartment, his eyes catching on the paused TV show and dirty dishes in the living room.
He gave Josh a sympathetic smile. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Josh said, moving quickly to pick up a few things. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“No, I won’t be here long.”
“Okay,” he said slowly, gesturing to a chair at the dining room table.
The two men sat across from each other, neither looking the other in the eye.
Josh hadn’t seen any of his coaches since the press conference. Teammates either. His choice, not theirs.
“Soooo,” Josh said expectantly.
“Something you said at the press conference has stuck with me,” Coach began.
“I didn’t say much.”
“No, but you said that hockey couldn’t be a part of your life anymore.”
“And?” Josh couldn’t sit still, so he got up and walked to the sink for a glass of water. As he tipped it against his lips, he looked back at the table for an explanation.
“Walker,” Coach paused. “Josh.”
Josh couldn’t remember if his coach had ever called him by his first name before.
