Page 51 of Dreams
He laughed and finally leaned away from her to open the door.
“Go get ‘em, Walker!” she called after him.
The courage she gave him lasted while he walked through the halls of the massive hotel until he was standing outside the room Ethan had said he was in. It was late, and Josh knew his brother. He knew to expect those little bottles from the mini-bar to be scattered about, and maybe a girl or two that helped drink them. He’d never had any delusions about who his brother was. For a while, Michaela had brought out the best in him, but people will always revert to their true self in the end.
His knock echoed throughout the hall, and he waited. When no one came, he knocked again. A few moments later, the door open, revealing his shirtless brother.
“Josh, I’m glad you came. I wanted to wait for you after the game, but Dad has to be up early tomorrow for his lecture.” He tilted his head to the side as he towel-dried his short blond hair. He backed into the room, but Josh stayed in the doorway. “Are you going to come in?”
“I guess.” He stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. To his surprise, they were the only ones there. The suite was huge and surprisingly clean. Ethan’s suitcase sat open in the corner, but that was the only sign he was even there.
“Sorry, I just got back from the gym downstairs,” Ethan said, draping his towel over a chair and digging in his suitcase for a shirt. Pulling it on, he turned back towards his brother. “Josh-”
“I don’t know how to talk to you,” Josh blurted.
“I know.” Ethan sighed. “Me either.”
They stared at each other until Ethan walked across the room. “Can I get you something to drink? By ‘something’ I mean water. My mini-bar is empty, so it’s all I have.”
“Already emptied it,” Josh snorted. “Classic Ethan.”
“You have no clue what you’re talking about.” An old Ethan look that Josh knew so well crossed his face for a moment and then was gone. Josh studied his brother. It wasn’t like him to keep a lid on his anger. He’d always had a problem with it.
“Water’s fine,” Josh said, accepting the bottle.
Ethan sat on the corner of the bed, wiping his palms on the front of his pants.
This is just as hard on him as it is on me,Josh realized, sitting in a nearby chair.
“We just need to do this,” Ethan said after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. “We need to have it out.”
“I don’t want to hate you.” Josh’s voice grew thick as the last ounces of control evaporated.
“I’ve been a dick,” Ethan said, keeping his eyes focused on his hands. “I’m still a dick, but I’m working on it.”
“How?”
“The last two years have been the worst of my life.” His eyes lifted slowly until he met his brother’s gaze. “I’m going to tell you everything, Josh, because you deserve the truth. I don’t know what you’re going to think of me when I’m done.”
“I’m listening.” Josh leaned forward with his elbows digging into his knees.
“I’m…” Ethan breathed deeply, gathering courage. “I’m an addict.”
The story came spilling out following that. It all started a few months before Ethan proposed to Michaela at her birthday party. He hurt his back, and over-the-counter pain meds weren’t working. So, a doctor friend of his prescribed Percocet. At first it was just a small dosage, but his back wasn’t feeling any better. He thought he’d be fine if he upped the dose. A few months later, his friend refused to prescribe more, and he found other ways to get it.
“I didn’t think it was a problem,” he said. “It was just for the pain.”
He’d already been a pretty big drinker, but he thought he could handle anything. Then Michaela turned down his proposal. He started partying with Meghan, a classmate from high school. She was into harder stuff, but he stuck with his drinking and the occasional pill to get him through the day.
When Michaela took him back, some people thought it was his parents’ pressure that forced him into the relationship, but that wasn’t true. He wanted her to help him.
“I was scared,” Ethan went on. “But I was stuck in this perpetual fog. I had so much misdirected anger. I focused it on her and on you, but I was mad at myself for being so damn weak. She’d always made me a better person, and it wasn’t working this time.”
So Ethan decided to propose again. His family was pleased. Hers was over the moon. None of them knew the truth. If they were married, it’d be harder for Michaela to leave him when she found out the truth. He would finally be able ask for her help.
“Ethan,” Josh spoke up for the first time, reeling in all this information. “You know Michaela. She would have been there for you if you were married or not.”
“But I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
