Page 70 of Dreams
Chapter Seventeen
School started back up on Monday and Taylor was swamped, so Josh didn’t mind the team being on a short road trip. He came home a little pissy because it hadn’t gone well. In two nights, they lost to both the Tampa Bay Lightning and the Florida Panthers.
They split the home stand that followed as the team tried to find their game again, the game that had them win most of their games in November. December wasn’t starting out well. Sometimes it was hard to separate hockey from real life. It was his job, yes, but it was more than that, and it affected everything else.
Last night’s game went to overtime before they eventually lost. Two minutes in, Josh was put out there with Olle and Zak. Overtime in the NHL was different than in juniors. In these games, it was a five minute three-on-three format, and Josh wasn’t typically used. Coach was trying to use him in more situations, so there he was rushing down the ice with Olle on his wing and Zak trailing behind. He’d been able to get around the single defenseman the other team put out and had a wide open shot. The ping as the puck hit the crossbar could be heard among the gasps from the crowd before it bounced to a guy from the other team who then went on to score, ending the game.
That crossbar and the sound it made filled Josh’s mind. Things like that always did. Missed goals. Bad defensive plays. Ill-timed penalties. The best, most experienced players had learned to shake those things off and move on to the next game. Josh wasn’t there yet.
It was made worse the next night when he had another dizzy spell during the third period of a game. He lost a step and let one of the best players in the league get by him easily to score. Coach Peterson benched him for the rest of the game, probably doing him a favor.
Josh wasn’t an idiot. He knew he’d have to get checked out sooner or later. He’d seen a doctor in New York the summer before, who only told him to take a break because he was probably just fatigued. Well, there were no breaks during the season.
The schedule over the next month was busy for the Jackets. He told himself he’d deal with it when he was home over All-Star break.
Michaela called, but he didn’t answer, knowing she’d get on his case about his health since she was the only one who knew. She’d have been watching the game last night, and she didn’t miss anything.
Ethan called, but Josh still couldn’t deal with those revelations. Over the last few weeks, Josh had plenty of time to feel like shit about how he’d reacted to his brother’s problems. No matter what the guy had done, Josh knew it should have gone differently. He’d have to face him eventually, but when he did, he wanted to be ready to be there for him one hundred percent. He just wondered if Ethan would do the same for him.
Over the next couple weeks, Taylor represented everything good that was in his life. She’d probably laugh at his cheesiness, but he found that he’d do anything to hear that laugh.
For her, they were still very new, her feelings untested. For him, it was different. His feelings had time to grow and mature over the months he’d known her.
She went to every home game over the next couple weeks, always sitting in the same place with her mom and sister. It felt good to have her there. She’d tell him when he played like shit, which was a lot over that time, and he actually found himself enjoying her honesty. It gave him the kick he needed to keep trying as hard as he could. Sometimes just trying hard wasn’t enough.
They spent all their free time together. He even broke his own rules about game days just for a few hours with her. And still, he didn’t tell her about his dizzy spells. He might be falling in love with her, but she was still Coach’s daughter. Plus, he didn’t want to worry her. It wouldn’t do either of them any good and he couldn’t afford to be benched.
“I’ve got exams starting next week,” she said, lacing her gloved fingers through his as they walked to their spot. Snow crunched underneath their feet and hung from the branches up above. It’d snowed the entire night before, creating a beautiful white canvas across the city. “I’ll probably still make it to your one home game, but I’ll be pretty busy otherwise.”
“Then I guess we need to have some fun before then.” He let go of her hand and started running across the frozen ground. She chased after him, laughing as her feet sank lower into the snow drifts with each step.
“Wait,” she called.
“Pick it up, son,” he yelled back.
“Yes, Coach.” She pulled her feet free and kept running.
The small castle stage was in sight when Josh stumbled before regaining his footing. He could feel his heart pounding erratically in his chest as his vision got fuzzy around the edges. He stopped running and reached out for a nearby tree, steadying himself against its solidness. He caught himself from falling again, and it was all he could do to keep the world from spinning around him.
“Josh,” Taylor said, finally catching up with him. “You okay?”
“Just need a moment.” He squeezed his eyes shut and breathed deeply. When he opened them, he couldn’t focus them on her.
“Let’s get you sitting down.” She angled herself up under his arm and forced him away from the tree. She helped him walk the rest of the way to the stage, pushing away thedo not crosstape, and then shouldered some of his weight as he climbed the three steps. His foot hit a loose section of rock and he fell, trying his hardest not to take Taylor with him.
“Shit,” he grumbled as the snow soaked into his pants.
Taylor crouched down in front of him, reaching a hand out to force his head up to look at her. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“I think I just have a bug.”
“That’s bullshit. You almost collapsed and you don’t even look worried, which means this probably isn’t the first time it’s happened.”
She sat down before he could stop her. “You’re going to get wet.” He tried to smile.
“Don’t change the subject.”
“I told you I’m fine.”
