Page 72 of Dreams
Forcing a smile, he leaned forward and kissed her again. Her lips stayed closed, and she didn’t kiss him back.
“I just have a lot on my mind,” he said finally. It wasn’t a lie, not totally. Lately he had been preoccupied. His impending trip home. His ever-present episodes. An unreciprocated love. Yeah, life was just a ball lately.
“Okay,” she shrugged. She didn’t ask any more questions of him because she trusted him unconditionally, and that trust hit Josh like a sledgehammer.
He wasn’t being honest with her, or anyone else. He should have told them about the episodes. He knew that. But every time he tried, the words evaporated before even rolling off his tongue. He wanted to play. That’s all. And he was scared. He didn’t know what was wrong or what was going to happen, and he was terrified to find out.
“I…” He almost said it again. Those three words. This time, though, he wanted to use them as a shield against his own guilt. That wasn’t right, so he clamped his lips shut.
Taylor continued to look at in expectantly.
“I need something to drink,” he blurted, practically lunging off the couch and sprinting over to the fridge. Grabbing a water, he tried to wash away the sour taste on his tongue.
He knew he was going to have to deal with all of it soon enough, but tonight he could forestall it just a little longer.
