Page 88 of Dreams
Chapter Twenty-One
The image on the TV screen paused on a young boy as he skated across the ice.
“Damn thing,” Josh grumbled, pressing his thumb again and again on the play button. It remained stuck, pissing him off way more than it should have, and he threw the remote across the room. It hit the door frame and clattered to the ground, the battery cover popping off in the process.
He’d admit it, he was wallowing. And so freaking angry. It’d taken a few days for it to really hit him, and then it was like a truck with no breaks that dragged him along after the initial crash.
Three days. That’s how long he’d been home. His dad flew in the day he got there, cutting off a seminar he’d been giving at UCLA. That first day, he’d run the tests again, and the results were the same. He hadn’t expected anything different. He’d be on beta blockers for the rest of his life and had to avoid strenuous activities.
Strenuous activities. The game had been his life, and it had been boiled down to those two words. The medical description didn’t encompass the passion or the energy he’d loved so much.
The words had left his father’s mouth, and Josh hadn’t been able to think of much else. He’d kept to himself these past few days. Ethan was around, but gave him his space. His father was busy at the office, and his mother was never one to hang around the house.
Then there was Michaela. She’d called. He hadn’t answered. She’d called again. Tomorrow was her wedding, and he’d suit up and perform his groomsmen duties with a smile on his face. But, tomorrow wasn’t today. Today he was angry. Today he was sad. Today he felt sorry for himself.
He got off his bed and crossed the room to unplug the USB drive from his TV and plug it in again, hoping that’d solve the problem.
He couldn’t believe his father kept all of these videos. Yesterday he’d been on his dad’s computer in his office and found a folder titledJosh.It contained videos of him from when he first learned to skate, on up through midget hockey, and ending with some YouTube videos of Josh Walker - NHL player extraordinaire.
His feet were sluggish as he walked towards the door and stooped to pick up the remote, sliding the back on as he did. Pointing it at the TV, he got the video started again. This time it was his midget team on the ice. He was probably about ten years old and cocky as hell when he scored. In those leagues, he’d been the best. It wasn’t until he got to juniors and played with better competition that he realized he wasn’t as good as he thought.
He skipped the videos of him as a Jacket, those were still too raw.
Watching himself as a Portland Winterhawk brought up a whole other load of shit. All his feelings for Taylor reared their ugly head, tinged with more hurt and anger than he wanted to acknowledge. He pushed it down and clicked off the TV.
“Screw the melodrama,” he said to no one in particular, not realizing he wasn’t alone.
“I agree,” Michaela said from the doorway. She leaned against the frame with her arms crossed over her chest. “Screw it all.” She smirked.
Josh sat up, smiling slightly. “Mic.”
She ran across the room in a heartbeat and jumped onto his bed, landing on her knees. Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around him.
“Good to see you too.” He laughed.
“I’ve just missed you.” She leaned back to examine him. “One dinner in five months is not nearly enough.”
“Well, I guess I’ll have all the time in the world to hang out with you now.”
“Nuh-uh… don’t do that. You are not going to be a piss ant this week.”
“Piss ant?” He laughed. She punched him and he stopped. “Fine, you’re right. You’re getting married tomorrow. It’s a happy time.”
“I didn’t mean because of my wedding, dumbass. What happened sucks. Really bad. But it’s not like you can change it.”
“Anyone ever tell you you’re kinda mean?” he asked.
“Chris does every day.” She winked at him.
“How is your brother?”
“You can see for yourself. He sent me over here to stop this…” She gestured to the remote in his hand. “And to bring you to lunch with us. Ethan’s coming too.”
His eyebrows shot up, and she lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “We’re working through some stuff,” she said as a way of explaining. “We’ve known each other for so long. You, me, Chris, Ethan - we’re family.”
“And now Jason,” he said.
Her smile stretched as far as it could go as she nodded. “And now Jason.”
