Page 97 of Dreams
He finally understood. Finally got how it felt to lose something you loved.
Some people say that an athlete dies twice. The second time was obvious -when they actually die. But, the first time was when they hang it up. For most people that happened young, when they graduated high school or college and had no more teams to play on. Very few of them make it past that. Josh made it to the pros, but his first death still came prematurely. It wasn’t supposed to end like this, at least not for another fifteen years or so.
His heart ached, and it wasn’t because of his condition. It felt like a hand was wrapped around it, squeezing the life from the beating organ.
He didn’t want to be bitter. He didn’t want to hate the game.
You don’t always get what you want.
A tear rolled down his cheek, and his body quaked. It was a few minutes before he even realized Taylor was awake and watching him.
She brushed the back of her hand against his cheek and sighed. “Come here.” She pulled his face towards hers and kissed him briefly before letting him bury his face in her neck.
She rubbed his back in silence for a few moments before he finally spoke. “I keep thinking I’m handling everything okay. Then it hits me all over again.”
“It’s going to be like that for a while.”
“I know.” He sighed, wiping his face dry.
“You know I’m here, right?”
“I like to think that when I have a beautiful naked girl in my bed, I know it.” He laughed, trying to snap himself out of his funk.
Taylor pinched him and then laughed when he yelped.
“That isn’t what I meant, and you know it.”
“I do.” He didn’t stop laughing when a thought popped into his mind. “Your dad must have told you where I was, so I’ll have to thank Coach for sending his daughter to ‘cheer me up’.” His air quotes made her laugh as well.
“I’d love to see his face,” she said. “Only, it wasn’t him. It was Grant.”
That made him sit up. “Mack sent you?” He scratched the side of his face, remembering the last conversation he’d had with his roommate. Needing space, he’d been ignoring his texts, along with all the others from the guys on the team.
“Yeah, he even bought my plane ticket.”
Josh looked up at the clock on the wall. They’d slept in, but there were still a few hours before Mack would have all the media stuff prior to the All-Star game that was being played that night.
Josh leaned down to kiss her once more. “I have to go make a phone call. You can take a shower if you want to, then we’ll head down to breakfast.”
She nodded knowingly, but sat waiting for him to leave before crawling out from underneath the covers.
He laughed to himself as he pulled on a pair of shorts and headed for the door.
Mack answered on the third ring.
“Hello?”
Josh smiled. He knew that voice. The “I was up too late and refuse to wake up” voice Mack had perfected. It was All-Star weekend; he shouldn’t expect anything less.
“Hey,” Josh said after a beat of silence. He knew he needed to apologize, but didn’t quite know how. Mack was his best friend whether they were teammates or not.
“Josher?” His voice was cleared of sleep this time and there was a rustling of sheets on the other end as Mack moved around.
“Yeah.”
“About damn time, Dude.”
“I know.” He stopped for a moment, the heaviness returning to his chest. It was impossible to separate Mack from hockey.
