Page 19 of We Thought We Knew It All
“Screw you, Gulf City High Gym!” I yelled.
Jamie laughed, seemingly breaking another rule of this time and place. “That’s quite the mouthful.”
“It sure made us grow up in a hurry, didn’t it?”
He nodded, knowing exactly what I meant.
“Shit happens,” he said, leaning down to speak in my ear.
“Are you going to shovel it or bury yourself in it?” I laughed, wiping away tears at the same time. “I wish Morgan was here with us.”
“Her graduation speech is still the best speech I’ve ever heard and I’m in the military. They love to give speeches.”
“I doubt your officers are talking about shit.”
He barked out a laugh. “Definitely not.”
“Come on.” I tugged his hand, leading him across the gym to the back hallway.
During the shooting, we’d holed up with a number of other students in one of the locker rooms. They hadn’t been able to find us to tell us it was secure for hours, leading them to dub us the missing nine. We were famous for about five seconds.
Now the locker room stood bare. The benches were still there, but the lockers had been ripped out. It was large and… empty.
My eyes watered again as the memories came flooding back.
We’d waited in the dark, not knowing what was going on out there.
The door slammed behind us and I jumped, remembering the sound of the gunshot piercing the silence. Our childhood had been shattered with that one act, our faith destroyed.
But we came out of it stronger. We no longer believed we were untouchable, nothing in life was. It was the biggest lesson of growing up. Bad things happen to everyone. You never really believed they would when tragedies were just news stories, far away. Then they hit home and everything changed.
I gave Jamie’s hand a squeeze. We changed. It brought us closer, made our love more intense. After he left, I tried for a long time to figure out if I loved him so much only because of what we went through. I still didn’t know the answer to that.
There was less light in here, only a few small windows, but we didn’t need light to know every inch of the room that haunted our dreams.
“Still feels like it was yesterday, doesn’t it?” I asked.
Jamie didn’t answer. Instead, he said, “You know, I’ve been shot at more times than I can count. I’ve spent time in enemy controlled territories and had some pretty terrifying experiences. But, this.” He released my hand and sat down on the bench. “None of that affected me as much as this place did.”
“I’ve wondered about you, you know,” I admitted. When he looked up, I continued. “All this time. I mean, I knew you were an Army Ranger, but I always wondered what you were doing.” The worry I’d felt over the years rose up again and I had to touch him, if only to make sure he was really here with me. “You scare me.”
My fingertips brushed his cheek and his eyes drifted shut. “Cal.”
I jerked my hand back and his eyes flew open. When I stepped back, he shot to his feet.
“Don’t pull away.” His voice held a low growl. “Not now.”
“No, Jamie.”
“Why do I scare you?”
“Because every day for the past ten years I’ve wondered if I was going to get the call that you were dead.” My voice grew louder. “You stopped contacting any of us. We didn’t know if you were okay. I hated you, Jamie. Hated you. Because even after ten years, I knew if anything happened to you, it’d destroy me.” I hugged my arms across my chest. “It isn’t fair. You shouldn’t get to have that power over me. I want it back. Please, just give it back.” My voice cracked and my vision clouded with tears.
Jamie looked around the room helplessly, searching. His lips curled up and I could have punched him. Again.
He walked across the floor, stopping past the third bench and crouching down. His hand skimmed the floor as I stood lost in my own confession. Had he even heard me?
“California, come here.” He kneeled and leaned back on his heels.
