Page 20 of We Thought We Knew It All
“No.”
“Please.” His eyes pleaded with me, using that power I so desperately wanted back.
I walked over slowly, stopping in front of him.
“Sit down,” he ordered.
“This is stupid,” I grumbled. “Do you ever listen to anything I say?”
His eyes held the same lightness that’d drawn me to him back in the day. “Do you know where we are?”
“Duh, the gym where we had the worst day of our high school careers.”
“Specifically.”
I looked around, taking note of where we were in relation to the door and it hit me. I’d never forget this spot. “This is where we huddled behind the lockers. Our hiding place.”
“This is where I first told you I loved you.” He didn’t wait for a response, kissing me just as he had a few days before. This time I responded, wrapping my arms around his shoulders as the weight of that day drifted from mine.
His lips were rough, but not forceful. He let me take charge, his version of returning power. He had been listening.
As I kissed him, I forgot where we were, how our lives had changed. It was just me and Jamie. Him and me. Us. Together. Nothing had ever felt more right.
He pulled me against him as I balled my fists in his shirt.
When I finally pulled away, we were both panting. He opened his mouth to speak, but I put a finger to his lips.
“Don’t say anything Jamie-like. You’ll ruin it.”
When I kissed him again, it was deliberate. The intensity of the moment washed over me, heating my skin and filling my mind.
“California McCoy,” he said, breaking away again. “I give you your power back. Not whatever power you think I have - that’s something you have to take. I can’t give it. But that day, the shooting, doesn’t have to haunt you anymore. That is the power I can return to you.” He gripped my chin between his thumb and index finger, forcing me to meet his gaze. “When those memories come back as they always do, I want you to see my eyes, feel my arms, and know you’re safe.”
I closed my eyes, rocking back on my heels.
For ten years, I’d been feeling like one step forward and I’d tumble off the edge. In my mind, I shuffled back, my feet finally finding more stable ground on which to stand.
9
Callie
That night, after the boys were asleep, I opened my laptop to see the blank page in front of me. The blinking cursor no longer looked like it was taunting me, only waiting. It’d been two years since I typed “The End” onEmmaand sent the final manuscript to the publisher. Two years of stalling, making excuses.
I’d tried, and it hadn’t worked. The only story demanding to be told was one I hadn’t been able to face.
They say to write from your own experiences. Write what you know. What did I know?
I’d grown up with the best mother I could imagine. She was special and everyone knew it. She’d taught me to surf, to use sarcasm with great effect, and most importantly to be strong.
I’d had an amazing best friend, my only friend. Jay was all I’d needed.
I was a twin. There were rough times, but in the end, Colby was the most important person in my life.
My aunt was my savior and surrogate mother after the worst happened.
I’d fallen in love, but not in the way most teenagers did. It’d been an all-consuming, forever kind of love, even if it hadn’t really lasted forever.
And we’d been torn down. All of us.
