Page 39 of We Thought We Knew It All
“Then maybe you should have acted like it,” I growled.
The tension between us held taut while our waitress returned and placed food in front of us.
“Can I get you anything else?” she asked.
“No,” we answered in unison, still staring at each other.
She practically ran from our presence.
Neither of us touched our food and our stand-off was suddenly ended when Jay looked away. “You said you were just a kid.” He met my eyes once again. “But so was I, Jamie.”
We began to eat in silence. The food was bland, but I suspected anything would taste bad during that conversation.
When he’d finished eating, Jay pushed his plate away, took a sip of coffee, and looked up at me for the first time since shoveling the first bite into his mouth.
“I never saw him hit you,” he said. “But I knew it was happening. I didn’t know how bad it was, but when I left for college, I could pretend it didn’t exist. I could pretend I didn’t see the vulnerability in your eyes every time I came home. I could pretend I didn’t know that you hated me. I was scared, Jamie, and it was easier to just close my eyes.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but he put up a hand to stop me.
“I need to get this out. When you left, not much changed. I was still away at school so not hearing from you didn’t seem very strange. Then before I knew it, I was graduating and hadn’t spoken to my brother in three years. So I tried to get in touch with you, but Colby and Callie told me the same thing - you’d truly broken away from your past. I don’t think I’d ever been both proud and sad at the same time before.”
“I had to do it, Jay.”
“I know. But I couldn’t let it go.” He smiled to himself. “I told dad that if he wanted me to take over the firm, he had to make things right with you.”
“I haven’t seen him since I left, but you’re still running the firm.”
“Well, he tried quite a few times. Each time he went to Fort Benning, you were out of the country.”
I relaxed back into my seat as the new information crashed over me. If I’d been there, would I have been able to forgive him?
I looked across at my brother, realizing there was one person I could forgive.
“I’m sorry,” I said, knowing he wasn’t the only person who deserved those words.
“Yeah, me too.” He sighed. “This is only the start to my apology tour. My wife tells me I’ve been quite intolerable.”
I shrugged. “If you hadn’t been, I’d have missed the chance to pummel you.”
One side of his mouth quirked up. “I seem to recall getting in a few punches myself.”
As if remembering, I touched the cut on my face and laughed. “Yeah, well I let you have that one.”
“I really am glad you’re back,” he said.
“Me too.” I thought of my army career ending prematurely to bring me here. It still hurt, but the loss was getting easier with each passing day.
“So,” Jay turned serious. “You and Callie together again.”
I lifted one shoulder in a shrug.
“She’s been through a lot.”
“So have I. We’re a little more damaged than we were before, but through everything, I never stopped loving her.”
“Has she told you… you know what, never mind.”
“Told me what?” I asked.
