Page 53 of We Thought We Knew It All
I wiped at my face and kissed the top of Jackson’s head. It was time. “Can you hold down the fort for a little while?” I asked.
The question was directed to my dad, but Jackson answered first. “I’m in charge?”
A laugh burst past my lips. “Yeah, kiddo. You’re in charge.”
I left my son puffing out his chest with self-importance.
Morgan and her supposed husband stood near the door. That was something I’d have to process later. She had some explaining to do. Right now, I was the one who needed to explain, or I’d lose the man I loved.
He’d been right. I knew exactly where to find him. The beach. Our beach.
He’d left his jacket back at the house and had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His shoes had been removed and the bottoms of his slacks dragged in the sand as he walked near the edge of the water. He didn’t see me approach.
“Jamie.” My voice quivered as I searched for strength.
He turned. His eyes were warm when he first saw me, an instinctive reaction, but then he shuttered them as if protecting himself.
“Just come out and say it, California. Is the boy my son?”
I closed my eyes for a second. “I don’t know.”
The heat in his eyes from a moment ago turned to ice. “Well that’s just great, isn’t it?”
“I never -”
“Never what? Planned to tell me? Because that’s pretty damn obvious.” He was ranting now and there was no stopping him. “My God, Cal. This is big, huge, life-changing. He’s nine-years-old, and you never got him tested?”
“I never thought I’d see you again.”
“Oh, that’s rich. So I’d never know I had a son out there? Were you always this selfish or am I just now seeing the real you for the very first time?”
“You know me, Jamie.”
“Obviously not. Forget about the past ten years for a moment. I thought we were good now. I thought… I thought we’d end up together in the end this time.”
“I did too-”
“Then you shouldn’t have lied to me!” He breathed out slowly as he massaged his bad arm. Stress made it worse, and I hated that I was the one doing it to him this time.
Every word he said was like a knife stuck into my heart. They hurt because they were all true. Out of respect to him, I held in my tears. I didn’t deserve to be the one who cried. This was my fault.
“This is too much,” he said, more calmly this time. “I need to go.” He stalked by me and paused halfway up the beach without turning. “I want to find out the truth. Get him tested.”
Then he was gone, and I was left with no tears, no air, and all the regret in the world.
* * *
I enteredthe busy house unnoticed. Morgan and Dean were sitting together on the couch, talking in low whispers. Colby was chasing Jackson and Liam around the living room. Jay sat on the floor while Declan handed him toys. My dad and Amber’s voices drifted out from the kitchen.
Morgan saw me first. Taking one look at my face, she stood up and walked toward me to pull me into a hug. “Jamie didn’t come back with you?”
I shook my head.
“Okay, then can I distract you with my husband?”
I laughed weakly. “Since when are you married?”
“Since like a week before I came back. It’s a long story, but it basically goes like this: two Americans living in London and missing home. They meet. They fall in love rather quickly. They get married a month later. Then one of them freaks out because you shouldn’t marry someone after a month. She runs home to her best friend. He follows her because he just can’t live without her.” She laughed. “Get the gist?”
