Page 55 of We Thought We Knew It All
I strummed twice, cringing as I heard how out-of-practice I was. Switching chords was nearly impossible. I couldn’t move my fingers like that. Last time, I hadn’t even been able to play a single chord, though, so it was progress. It would take a lot of work, but I was suddenly determined to be able to play guitar again. That was something I could control.
I worked for a little while longer and it kept my mind busy. By the time I quit, I was able to fall sound asleep.
I woke to the sound of Colby in the kitchen and a new thought on my mind. I had to get out of there. I needed space. Callie’s face was in my dreams, but I saw her differently now. Maybe I’d held some idealized version of her in my head and that Callie didn’t exist. The real one couldn’t live up to that.
I wasn’t sure she should have to, but I was so angry. She’d betrayed me. She’d let someone else raise my possible kid.
Jackson. We’d been connected since the first time I met him.
I never thought I’d have kids, but suddenly I wanted him. I loved him. I was going to be the best damn father anyone had ever seen.
But not now. Not this day. This day I had to leave.
I packed up my small amount of possessions and slung my bag over my shoulder. Grabbing the guitar, I walked out to where Colby was making breakfast. He looked at me briefly before turning with a shake of his head.
“Just go,” he said. “Maybe my sister is better off.”
“I’m just going to Tampa for a little while.” I felt a strong need to explain myself, especially to Colby. “I’ll text you to let you know where I’m staying so she can send the results.”
He just waved me off with a sigh. There was a time when he’d have understood me without me having to utter a word, but we didn’t live in that world anymore. This world was much more complicated.
This time when I left Gulf City behind, I didn’t feel like I was moving toward something as I had before. Now I was full of regrets.
21
Callie
With the boys out of school for the long holiday weekend, I decided to take it off from work atEmma’s.Jackson sat on the couch readingThe Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.Declan was napping in his room and I sat at the kitchen table with Liam withHarry Pottercoloring books spread out before us.
My boys were blissfully unaware of the true events of the day before. They looked on with child’s eyes as their family sat down for a normal Thanksgiving dinner, oblivious to the tension.
Jackson asked at one point where Jamie went and Liam wanted to know the same of their father. I didn’t have the heart to tell them anything other than we’d see them soon.
Dylan’s harsh words hung in the fog of my mind. He’d come to hurt me.
A knock reverberated through the house and by the time I made my way into the living room, Jackson had opened the door and greeted his father warmly.
A part of me hoped it was Jamie, but that same part of me knew it wouldn’t be.
Dylan hugged Jackson and then caught Liam as he ran toward him. “Hi, buddy.” He laughed.
“Daddy, wanna see my picture?” Liam asked.
Dylan met my eyes for the first time as if asking for permission. I couldn’t deny Liam his excitement, so I waved him in and tried my best to hold in the things I wanted to say to him. I wouldn’t do it in front of the kids.
I busied myself with picking up the living room as the boys’ chatter drifted from the kitchen. Dylan reappeared a few minutes later.
“The boys went out back to kick around a soccer ball.” His voice dropped. “I asked them to give us a few minutes.”
“Okay.” I drew out the word, unsure of what he wanted from me.
“Can we talk?”
I turned away from him to straighten the pillows on the couch.
“California.”
I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. Hearing Dylan say my name in the same way he always had only reminded me how much I’d been hurt. I knew now that I hadn’t loved him as much as I’d always loved Jamie and that wasn’t fair to him, but he’d still cheated on me.
