Page 2 of Roman and the Hopeless Romantic
“Cass.” Jesse reached out to take her hand.
She gripped it like it was a lifeline, keeping her feet on the ground. Her breathing evened as she tried the exercises her therapist taught her. Deep breaths, clear mind.
I’m safe. I’m safe. I’m safe.She repeated the mantra to herself until they pulled into the small parking lot in front of a blue cottage that housed her therapist’s office.
“I’ll be back in an hour.” Jesse gave her a final encouraging squeeze and let go.
Cassie got out of the car and practically sprinted for the safety of the building. Inside, large windows spanned the back wall looking out at the rolling waves, kicked up like they normally were this time of year.
The receptionist, Mandy, smiled at her, not expecting Cassie to actually speak. They’d been through this song and dance many times before.
“Good morning, Cassandra. Annie is ready for you.”
Her therapist insisted she call her by her real name and not her stuffy title, as if it would make Cassie feel any less self-conscious about her weekly appointments.
Without looking at Mandy, Cassie walked down the familiar hall to Annie’s office and through the open doorway, shutting it behind her.
“Morning, Cass.” Annie gave her routine smile like she had every Friday for the past two years.
“Hey.” Cassie took her usual spot on the couch facing Annie’s chair.
“Did you drive yourself today?”
Cassie shook her head.
“So, still not driving after the last incident?” She pursed her lips in concern.
Cassie crossed her arms. “Well, it was a big incident.”
She nodded. “I know this world is unpredictable, and at times that can be frightening.”
“At times? I still dream about the unpredictability.”
Her eyebrows drew together. “I thought we’d moved past the nightmares.”
They had until this past week when Cassie woke up screaming about her mom. “I saw it happen again. I was standing between my parents as we walked from the store in Tampa. Jesse was at a friend’s house, and the boys were with the nanny. I felt so lucky to be there with them alone.”
Annie smiled. “Look how far you’ve come, Cassie. Only months ago, you still couldn’t talk about that night.”
“I didn’t see the bullet. Even afterward, I never saw the hole it created. I felt it, though. When it struck Mom, it carved out a hole inside me. I’m messed up, Annie.”
“Cassie, how many times have I told you to stop saying that about yourself? You were traumatized. But look at how far you’ve come.”
She shrugged. “If I’ve really come that far, why am I still dreaming about it?”
“Because you haven’t yet let go. Did you wake yourself up screaming this time?”
“No.” She rubbed a hand over her face. “The boys—Will and Eli—they woke me up. I guess they heard me.” Her eight-year-old brothers were her little guys. They’d shaken her awake before climbing into bed with her, saying they’d keep her safe that night.
She sighed. “I’m tired of my problems affecting my family. Did I ever tell you I can’t even talk to my brother’s best friend, and he practically lives with us?” Her shoulders dropped. “Before… it happened, he was my friend too. Now, I’m just the weirdo silent girl.”
“You’re not weird, Cassie. You’re improving every day. You might not see it, but I do. Don’t discount yourself.” She fixed Cassie with a kind gaze. “Reading anything good these days?”
Cassie finally smiled. “How about everything? I’m on a contemporary romance kick right now. The characters in these books find people who love them despite their flaws.” But that kind of love didn’t exist in real life. As much of a hopeless romantic as she was, Cassie didn’t truly believe in the fairytale kind of romance.
“That’s what love is, Cassie. One day, you’ll find someone who doesn’t just overlook your flaws, he’ll love them.”
Cassie snorted out a laugh. Yeah, sure, the girl who won’t talk to people or even leave the house most days would fall in love.
