Page 37 of Roman and the Hopeless Romantic
But the smiles… those had been the same. And they’d both used them any chance they got.
“I’m trying, Mom,” she whispered. “But I’m going to try harder.” For her. Because she’d want her to.
She set the broken frame on her dresser and retrieved her Kindle, her eyes scanning Cade’s words on the screen. He claimed a kiss was more than an act. Well, she’d prove him wrong.
No thinking, that was what Annie prescribed. Somehow, Cassie didn’t think this is what she meant. But it didn’t matter.
She threw the Kindle on her bed and padded out into the hall. The door next to hers was cracked open, allowing her to push her way in.
Roman lay on his side, the blanket tangled around his legs. His bare torso shone in the dark. How many of the girls she’d known in school would kill to be in his room right now?
How many of them hoped for just one look, one word from the way-too-attractive hockey player. It didn’t help that he was actually a nice guy.
But this was to prove a fictional character wrong. Nothing more.
That even sounded dumb in her head. Turning on her heel, she realized she couldn’t do this.
But the low timbre of Roman’s voice called her back. “Cass?”
She froze, turning slowly.
He rubbed a hand over his face as if wiping the sleep from his eyes. “What are you doing?”
Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. “I want to kiss you.” She clapped a hand over her mouth. That was not an excuse. She wasn’t a blurter, but the honesty of her statement threw her into a fit of giggles. This was ridiculous. She was ridiculous. “I’m… ah… going to go.” At least she got the words out. Another giggling fit hit her as she stepped toward the door.
“Wait.” Roman scrambled from his bed. “What’s going on here?” A wry smile curved his lips. “I’m a bit lost.”
She tamped down on the chains threatening to wrap around her tongue and prevent her from answering. It was Roman. Her old friend. A guy she’d barely spoken to in two years but someone she trusted. That was why it had to be him.
She mustered up enough honesty magic to make Annie proud. “I’ve never kissed anyone.”
His eyebrows shot to his hairline.
She continued. “So, there’s this book, and it talks about kissing like it’s this monumental thing, but I don’t believe it. How could I know if I’ve never tried it though? Cade thinks one kiss can change your life, and I need to prove him wrong. It’s just lips and doesn’t last very long. He can’t be right.” Her chest heaved from babbling out more words than she’d said to anyone in a long time.
Roman flipped on his light and faced her. “Okay, first—who is this Cade?”
“Cade Williams.”
He pursed his lips. “I don’t know the guy, but if he’s such an expert, why can’t you do this experiment with him?” Anger entered his voice, and Cassie took a step back.
“I’m sorry. It was a dumb idea. Of course, you don’t want to kiss me. Can we please just forget about it?”
“Cass.” His eyes burned into hers. “Who is Cade Williams, and why are you talking about kissing so much?” He clenched his jaw, reminding her how he and Jesse used to act toward any boy on the playground who liked her when they were younger. There was a reason beyond her current struggles that Cassie was still a kissing virgin.
Her cheeks heated, and she focused her gaze on his chest, anywhere but his eyes. “Um… he’s… yeah… a guy inmybook,” she said, her words running together.
It took a moment for Roman to catch up, and his entire body relaxed. “Look, Cass… you’ve always been obsessed with these romance novels, but they aren’t real. Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss.”
She lifted her chin, her words freer than they had been in a long time. No anxiety zipped along her skin, only wild recklessness like she’d once loved. “Then show me.”
His eyes blazed for only a moment before he took a step back. “You should go to bed, Cass.”
Her entire body deflated, and the nervous energy she’d known for two years returned in force, stopping any further words from moving past her lips.
As she walked back into her dark room, she heard his words in her mind. “Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss.”
Then why wouldn’t he kiss her? She stopped in front of the mirror, only seeing parts of herself in the dark and trying to see what Roman saw.
Before her was a once strong girl, now broken. A thrill-seeker, who now spent her days hiding.
She straightened her spine. No, she wasn’t that girl. He’d said no, but she’d spoken to Roman, been honest with him.
Her journey wasn’t about giant leaps. Instead, steady, measured steps kept her moving forward.
“I am not my anxiety,” she whispered.
And it was not her.
