Page 74 of Roman and the Hopeless Romantic
“Target?” Hadley asked. “That’s the mischief you need our help with? Are we going to go streaking down the aisles—”
“I totally wouldn’t do that,” Charlotte cut in.
“—or release farm animals in the store?”
“Where would we even get those?” Charlotte crossed her arms and looked as if she was really contemplating it. “Guys, I can’t do anything that would get me in trouble. I have enough on my plate without jail time.”
Who were these people? Cassie swallowed, shaking her head. “No jail time, I promise. I just… I want to walk through the front door.”
It sounded so simple, and to most people, it was. Shopping didn’t hold the same fears for the average person. It didn’t represent everything they couldn’t handle. Crowds. Noise. Strangers.
Cassie gripped the back of the desk chair, her knuckles turning white.Breathe, Cass. Annie’s voice in her head reminded her to keep going, keep pushing.
She didn’t have to be content with the life she had.
“I know it sounds easy for you guys, but… just help me. Please.” She could have asked her dad or her brother, but they were on the inside with her and this anxiety. They’d been there since the beginning, and if she couldn’t do it, she didn’t want to see the disappointment on their faces.
Charlotte looped an arm through Cassie’s and Hadley mirrored her on the other side.
“We’ve got you.” Hadley bumped her hip.
Charlotte nodded in agreement.
It was final. With friends Cassie never imagined she’d have, she was going to take the biggest step forward yet, proving there was hope one day she could beat this, she could win.
The past didn’t have to control her future.
* * *
There weremoments that define a person’s life. Tragedies like the death of Cassie’s mom. Joys like the birth of her brothers.
And then the times when a person is forced to be brave. Cassie had always believed that no one was truly stronger than anyone else. Overcoming obstacles does not make someone better or tougher.
It only means they were forced to use their strength.
A strength that exists in everyone. It’s the most human of features. Struggles and strength were two sides of the same coin.
That was how she knew her anxiety didn’t make her weak. It didn’t mean she was worth less than anyone else. Sure, it took her a long time to see it that way, but sometimes epiphanies come in stages.
It gave her an opportunity to use her God-given strength.
So, she had to try.
The red target hanging above the building taunted her like a beacon calling her anxiety forth. Nervous energy buzzed along her skin as she sat in Hadley’s car, her two friends watching her to see if she’d step out into the busy parking lot.
She had to do this. It was time.
Lifting her eyes to the brilliant February sky, she let her lids flutter shut. Her mom would want this for her; she’d want her to move on.
When she opened them again, she was ready.
Pushing the door open, she stepped out into the chilly air and zipped her jacket. Shoppers pushed red carts out through the doors in droves, piled high with new purchases they probably didn’t need. Her mom used to joke about Target, saying everyone went with a list that doubled by the time they left the store.
Fingers threaded through hers, and she looked down to see Charlotte and Hadley each take a hand.
A wave of dizziness crashed down on her as her eyes tracked the customers. It dissipated, and she squeezed her friends’ hands.
They led her through the busy parking lot and stood just outside the door. Each time it opened, a blast of air struck them. Yet, Cassie couldn’t move.
