Page 85 of Spencer and the Younger Girl
“All set.”
He nodded. “Well, Damien is fixing a mower. Once he’s done, I need you to take it out in the northern fields.”
“Sure thing, Dad.” Even when Damien was young, he’d helped their dad fix up cars. It was their thing. Damien always had a mind for it. But Spencer had been all over this ranch since returning home and hadn’t seen any signs of current projects.
His dad turned to walk toward the house, but Spencer called him back. “Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Have you and Damien been working on a car lately?”
His dad’s shoulders fell. “The past few years, Spence… we’ve let most of our full-time hands go as we’ve struggled. It means a lot more work for those of us still here. There hasn’t been time for anything else.”
Spencer couldn’t help but feel a bit of guilt for that. If he hadn’t left… At least Damien had hockey, but that didn’t make Spencer feel any better.
His dad was quiet for a long moment. “Spencer, it is not a son’s job to make life easier for the father. Don’t ever feel bad for wanting something more in life. There was nothing wrong with you wanting to leave, only the way you did it.”
He’d cut them off, abandoned them. And he’d never forgive himself for that. He understood why his mom struggled having him back. Pain from something like that never really goes away.
He wanted to tell them, to reveal everything that went into that rash decision and the three years of silence, but the words stuck in his throat.
It wasn’t until he returned home that he even realized healing was possible.
“Dad… I’m sorry. I hope you know that.”
“We do, son. We do.” With one final look, he ambled toward the house.
Everything else Spencer wanted to say to his parents rolled through his mind.
I wanted to contact you.
I was almost a dad.
And became broken instead.
Can I stay?
The last question was one he didn’t know the answer to. He’d been so adamant about returning home only temporarily, telling himself it was only for Damien.
But he saw now his brother didn’t need him. That was only an excuse.
Spencer came back because it was time. Because he needed to.
He glanced over his shoulder once more to see Hadley still playing with the goats. If he stayed, he wouldn’t have to give up the joy she brought with her everywhere she went.
His eyes traveled to where his mom greeted his dad with a kiss on the front porch. If he stayed, would he get his family back?
