Page 62 of Wylder and the Secret Rockstar
"Yeah, well, I love my brother, but two years ago, there were a few months where I couldn't even look at him. He said all the right things to Christina, that he loved her and wanted a future with her. Until one day he ended it. Just like that. He told her he'd meant all those things he’d said to her at the time, but not anymore."
"People break up all the time, Logan. Sometimes it's not a friendly break up."
He sighed. "But not all of those people are on drugs."
Her mouth popped open but no words came.
Logan scrubbed a hand across his face. "It started out with Adderall. Sebastian was going to online university while also dealing with two young brothers and Luke's career. Luke always blamed himself for Sebastian's spiral from there, but I'm not sure we could have stopped him. He started using harder drugs to stay up, to get his work done and also to enjoy the lifestyle having a famous brother afforded him. But addiction... It’s in the blood."
"What do you mean?" Wylder hung on his every word.
He wouldn't look at her. "Our mom... She died of an overdose. We never knew our dad. Bash was eighteen at the time. Luke and I were thirteen, and probably too much for him, but he took us in anyway, scrapping his plans of going away to school. He got a job and enrolled online."
Wylder couldn't reconcile the brother he described with the guy she'd known, the one looking for a little fun.
Logan's next words were the ones that hit her hardest. "Bash looks for whatever will make him feel the least while still allowing him to dance on the edge of a cliff. It's an adrenaline hit without the consequences."
"So, I'm a cliff." The words hurt, but they also made too much sense.
"This is Sebastian's chance to turn his life around, Wylder. This job, this school, it's both of our chances. Our uncle had to pull some serious strings to even make it happen, and I just really don't want Bash to mess up again."
Wylder didn't know what made her do it, but she reached for his hand, threading her fingers through his. "I won't mess this up for you." He turned his head, his eyes meeting hers. "I promise, Logan. Me and Sebastian, we're over. We've been over since the day he left Nashville."
His fingers squeezed hers before releasing her. Yet, he didn't move away.
Wylder studied the sad look in his eyes, a look she hadn't notice before now, the way his brow creased when he thought too hard. It made more sense now, why he'd give up his voice for his brother's career. Logan, Luke, Sebastian... They were all each other had, and Logan was the glue that kept them all from falling apart.
His lips parted as he released a breath.
"My mom was an addict too." She didn't know what made her say it, because she never talked about the mother she'd barely gotten to know.
She’d thought she and Logan understood each other since their lives were both adjacent to fame, but there was so much more to it than that.
“I…” She sucked in a breath. “She didn’t die because of the drugs—that was the cancer—but they did keep her from living, from being a part of my life. I guess I’m just trying to say I get it. Your protectiveness of your brothers.” Even Sebastian’s protectiveness of Logan, the way he’d told Wylder she was a bad influence on him.
Their eyes remained locked as more secrets fell away, more of the hard shells life crafted around them. It was almost too much. No one had ever looked at Wylder with such intensity, as if every word she said mattered.
Logan was the first to break away, taking a few deep breaths before climbing to his feet and extending a hand down. "Practice time?"
She took his hand, letting him pull her up. "We're going to rock this, but you have to sing." She needed to hear him in person again, to be sure.
And more than that... she wanted him to hear himself, to realize he didn't have to hate music just because of the secret he carried.
Painstakingly, slowly, he nodded.
"Okay perfect." Wylder couldn't wait to see all their ideas come to life. "What do you think about us taking the stage with the holograms Diego is creating? We could perform in the background while they dance in front of us."
His eyes widened and he took a step back. "Wylder... no. I-I..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I know I have this famous brother and everyone thinks I'm just like him, but getting on stage... You and I agreed to find another way."
"I know. I just thought it would be super cool." Now that she'd played drums again, she wanted to do it over and over, but not on her own. "I used to love the stage. When I played withAnonymous, letting the music connect me with all those people, it was the best thing in the world."
"Well, that's good for you then, but I'm not performing."
A thought came to her, but she couldn't believe it. "Wait. Are you... afraid? Like, do you have legit stage fright?" It would explain so much. He and Luke, one of them had the voice and the other had the stage presence. Together, they were one complete superstar. "But Logan, you're so good. What are you afraid of?"
He looked like he wanted to deny it, but he didn't. "I... don’t know. Thinking about standing in front of people, about singing for them, my entire body feels like it's shaking. I can't explain it, Wylder, but we have to find another way."
As much as she wanted to perform, she knew that fear. She'd never had stage fright, but for so long, thinking of playing the drums terrified her.
